Help with MMC options

[WorriedButterfly]

Hello, I found out yesterday that I have had a missed miscarriage at 7+1weeks, I'm now 9 weeks. I saw a heart beat at 7. Anyway I am obviously very upset, my pregnancy was following IVF ICSI.

Please could someone help me with the beat options, I now just want it out of me as quickly and easily but not causing damage to my body. I heard there are risks with D&C...so I'm a bit confused. I've been told to wait til Wednesday for an nhs scan as the previous one was private. Any help would be appreciated. X

So sorry you are going through this. The same happened to me following IVF. I found out at 9wks it had stopped growing at 7.3 also after seeing the heartbeat, it's so awful. I was advised by the fertility clinic doctor to avoid d&c if I can. I waited a week after stopping progesterone and nothing happened so had the medical management (pills) the pain was ok but they did make me sick only for a hour or so. They worked for me and I only bled for about 4/5 days. Look after yourself.

So sorry to hear this, it is such shock! I am 3 weeks post d&c and I liked the certainty and closure of it. However everyone is different. I knew I wouldn't have been able to cope with the limbo of waiting for it to happen naturally or the worry of the pills not working and having to have a d&c anyway. I was put out for the procedure and only had mild pain and very little bleeding after.

Hugs for you

Firstly, very sorry you’re going through this. I found out on Christmas Eve id miscarried following the tiniest streak of blood 2 days earlier. It was a really awful time. I decided to let my body do the natural thing initially but it hadn’t in 10 days and like you, I just wanted it all over and done with. I rang and spoke to someone about medical management but it meant an overnight stay in hospital (away from my little boy) and they were very clear on the phone it may not work and I’d have to come in again a day or two later - I know someone who went through this and the pain and cramps and bleeding was quite bad. I booked in anyway but then googled the surgical management and ultimately changed my mind to just get it over and done with. I woke up in recovery with zero pain and had minimal bleeds for 3-4 days. I’d say physically I felt back to normal within 24 hours. I’m now 14 weeks and it’s been such an anxious time but I said if something did go wrong I would definitely opt to do the same again - for all it was a shitty time it was a positive experience for me as weird as that sounds. Take care of yourself take time to recover x

I had a MMC in March. I was 11+4 and it had stopped growing at 6 weeks. My bleeding didn’t start until 10+6 but it was light brown and no pain. So it took 4 weeks to start the process but clearly I didn’t know. I did it naturally. I wasn’t offered any other option. I ended up in hospital losing a lot of blood and nearly with infection. I’m ok now. My point is the natural process may take some weeks and then you have to balance that with infection risk etc.

So sorry OP
I would take the D&C option - I've done 4 natural miscarriages now and had I been a bit further on I would 100% have opted for D&C so that you have an option for tests to be done to see if there was any genetic/chromosome issues? (My IVf clinic has also said the same)
Also the waiting can be awful - I'm "lucky" in that my miscarriages were over relatively quickly once red bleeding started but I've known people go a couple of weeks waiting for it start - you end up feeling like a walking time bomb and uncomfortable leaving the house in case is starts whilst your out. And yeah they were incredibly painful and very isolating and lonely experiences being alone in my bathroom. I've also had a an ectopic and that was removed surgically and the care was amazing. We were also given the option of a burial which the hospital organised and it was lovely. I felt bad afterwards about the ones I flushed away that didn't get the chance to have a service done for them x

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I had a mmc earlier this year. Went for a scan at 8 weeks due to light brown spotting, discovered it had stopped developing at 6 weeks. After a follow up scan 2 weeks later to confirm, I opted for d&c as nothing seemed to be really happening naturally. The hospital called it surgical management. There was a 2 week wait, but that could just be the hospital I was at. It was fine. Felt very well looked after, I was home the same day. Light bleeding for a day or 2, no real pain. I'd say if you want it over with, the op is probably the 'best' option. My friend who has, sadly, had more than one miscarriage, advised me to go for the surgery after her experiences. I hope you are being supported and looked after xxxx

Opt for the ERPC every time. I had two missed miscarriages and was terrified of going under general the first time so opted for medical management. Huge mistake. I haemorrhaged, went into shock and needed an emergency ERPC anyway. I was ill for some time afterwards which did not help the situation. Had an ERPC the second time and it went without hitch, was in and out of hospital in a matter of hours which I preferred. You see everything with medical management too, it’s not pleasant.

I miscarried naturally just a few days before my 12 week scan, the baby was only 6 weeks.

The pain was horrendous and I had labour contractions for hours. Ended up passing out and being taken to hospital where they could give me some stronger plan relief.

Had I known the pain (huge physical and huge emotional) pain that would come I would have opted for the surgery. The midwife told me that as it had stopped growing at 6 weeks it wouldn't be painful but this was so far from the truth and also consistent with what I've heard about missed miscarriages.

I've since had a miscarriage at 6 weeks and it was nothing like that.

Hope you get your baby soon, it's hard when it's been wanted for so long but you just have to keep trying. We now have a 2 year boy and I'm pregnant again. This was after trying for 5 years to have our first.

Hi OP, I’m so sorry to hear of your mmc. It’s heartbreaking. I have had a similar situation. I went for a scan at 8 weeks a week ago today. We heard the heartbeat at our 6 week scan. I was referred to EPU as I had som spotting very early on. At the 8 week scan they told us the baby had no heart beat and had stopped growing shortly after 6 weeks. I opted for a manual vacuum aspiration. I’m not sure if you have been offered this? It was done under local anaesthetic on Friday. I personally couldn’t have waited for it to happen naturally as I was already extremely anxious waiting from the Monday to the Friday. It was a bit of a painful procedure but it only lasted 15 minutes and I have had relatively minor cramping and bleeding since. I have a friend who also went through this and she went for the D&C and her recovery time seemed longer than mine, physically. I hope you are doing okay. Only you can decide what is the right option for you.
I’m now dealing with the emotional side. Sometimes I feel okay and then next moment I just feel really empty and upset. Thinking of you while you make this difficult decision xx

I’m so sorry your going through this ❤️ You will in time be okay I promise. I had one in July last year and found out at 12 week scan that baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. A week later I opted for D&C as my body wasn’t letting go and I couldn’t cope with just waiting for it to happen. In at 8am and out at 11:30am and the hospital were amazing. I was in a ward with 4 other couples who were going through the same thing. I was able to try and grieve and move on this way. I really hope it all goes well ❤️ Xxxxx

Thank you all for sharing your stories and advice, I am booked in for D&C on Friday. It feels like the right choice for me.