Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

Pregnant after two miscarriages and driving myself crazy

15 replies

Serenity05 · 19/05/2019 07:45

I had a CP in September last year and then an MMC in January which needed medical management at 10 weeks. I found out this week that I'm pregnant again and my first reaction was an awful feeling of "Here we go again..."

I've been doing HPTs every day since Tuesday. I know that's probably not healthy but I'm so sure I'm going to lose this pregnancy as well, I need to see those lines to know it's still there. However, this morning I'm scared because the line is lighter than it was yesterday (pic attached). Shouldn't it be getting darker if HCG is increasing? Should I be preparing myself for a third loss?

The midwife at my local surgery won't see anyone until 8 weeks. I'm 5 weeks today. I'm not sure I can cope with this anxiety for another 3 weeks (if I make it that far), let alone the wait for the 12 week scan.

Pregnant after two miscarriages and driving myself crazy

OP posts:

Teddybear45 · 19/05/2019 07:49

How light a positive is doesn’t matter especially for those kinds of cheap tests. Are you able to go to the EPU as you had an early miscarriage before? They may be able to test your hcg levels and book you in for a scan when you’re 7 weeks.

moomin11 · 19/05/2019 07:51

I've recently found out I'm pregnant again after a miscarriage and an ectopic and my reaction was exactly the same. It's natural to be anxious after previous losses and I think anticipating bad news is a way of protecting yourself but it's hard to function that way. How far along are you? Can you pay for a private scan before your 12 week one?

Original poster

Serenity05 · 19/05/2019 07:57

Thanks both. I'm 5 weeks today. Can I self refer to an EPU this early or would I have to get a GP referral?

OP posts:

Teddybear45 · 19/05/2019 07:58

Depends on your EPU. Try self-referring and see what they say

Ridethewaves · 19/05/2019 08:04

I had a line that got much lighter on internet cheapies and I totally convinced myself i was loosing the baby. I even phoned a gp and told them i was was miscarrying and went out and had food i knew you wernt to have in pregnancy. It turned out i wasnt miscarrying and am now 16 weeks.
Id suggest you stop testing if you can, it just makes you more anxious and isnt a reliable way of checking whats going on. Best of luck with your pregnancy, hope you have a happy 9 months and can soon start looking forward to your little baby with less worry soon.

ducksandacorns · 19/05/2019 08:14

Hi @Serenity05

I have a similar story to you, CP in October then MMC in January at 10 weeks which resulted in surgical management.

I am now 7+3 and am very anxious. Had an early scan on Monday where all seemed fine although pregnancy measuring slightly smaller than I hoped.

I've been reading lots of posts about women in similar positions and who are anxious during their pregnancy after loss. Comforting to know I'm not alone. 'Today I am pregnant' seems to be the mantra! There is a brilliant post from someone of one of the threads but I can't find it. Will tag you if I do.

I've stopped testing now, I also had a lighter test in between darker ones.

LillyLeaf · 19/05/2019 08:25

I got a BFP this morning (IVF), I miscarried (MMC) my first IVF pregnancy in February and I said the same 'here we go again'. I have no advice as I'm trying to work out how I'll get through everyday in fear of another miscarriage. But I would suggest stop testing. Can you ask you epu for a scan at 6 weeks due to your anxiety?

turquoiseturtle · 19/05/2019 08:44

@Serenity05 I am in the same boat and I know what it’s like, the emotional stress is terrible.

You could go to your GP, tell them how you are feeling, and ask for hcg blood tests. Myself, I’m keeping this as a back-up option if I can’t cope with the anxiety. However, bear in mind that hcg results may not be conclusive. In my last pregnancy I had these done and the numbers were too slow, but still had a small chance of being viable. Knowing this was much, much more stressful than not knowing. I have decided this time round not to take hcg tests, not to keep doing urine tests (which aren’t a reliable indication of the progression of pregnancy), to just try to have patience and wait.

It’s similar with scans. If you get a scan now at 5 weeks, it will confirm the location of the pregnancy, nothing more. At six weeks you might see a heartbeat, but you’re equally likely to get an ambiguous result that makes you panic. I’m trying to hold on for a private scan at around 8 weeks where you might reasonably expect to see something.

It’s a personal decision based on what will reassure you the most, but this is my own reasoning, based on knowing that medical testing at this stage can’t actually tell you how a pregnancy will progress. Statistically, you have cleared a big first hurdle by being pregnant again and the chances are that everything will be fine.

Good luck @Serenity05, @moomin11 and @ducksandacorns. It’s comforting to know we’re not alone in this.

turquoiseturtle · 19/05/2019 08:45

and good luck @LillyLeaf, you posted while I was writing this!

Rosie16 · 19/05/2019 08:51

How many weeks are you?
I used the pregnancy tests which showed weeks at first for reassurance HCG was going up. The cheaper tests aren’t as reliable. With my first they didn’t detect o was pregnant the line was so faint I couldn’t tell. I got one with digital display and the next day it said 1-2weeks. Your hcg goes down after a bit so it depends how far gone you are. As you’ve had miscarriage would a Dr do a test for you or send you for early scan?

Bere111 · 19/05/2019 09:03

This was me at the end of January- I thought I was losing my mind! A close friend had 3 mc before her first pregnancy (she now has 3 beautiful girls!) and she supported me through it.

Try to reduce testing to every other day, then leave 2 day etc - the frequent testing makes it worse I think
If you call your epu/ emergency gynae dept directly they will scan you - I waited to 8weeks because I didn’t want vaginal scan, but if you don’t mind they can do 6wks scan
You’re symptoms will probably kick in around 6weeks, which is reassuring and will likely make you feel better
I used to wake up everyday and think ‘today I’ll miscarry’, but once I got passed my first scan I felt better, then I paid for private scan at 11wks, and felt better again, and day by day it got easier!

I’m 20weeks now!

99RedBalloonsFloating · 19/05/2019 11:00

I've been through similar and would strongly suggest you wait till 8 weeks before a scan (epu, private, or whatever), because it's highly unlikely a scan would help you relax at this point. Even on the best reading, at 5 weeks hardly anything could be seen, you'd need to wait a few weeks before a heartbeat could be detected anyway. In your situation I'd really try to hold off and maybe try to focus your energy on relaxation techniques instead. I know it's so hard, I've been there.

Blahbeblah · 19/05/2019 11:31

I had 5 MCs before my current BFP. In fact I really assumed that I was miscarrying this one as the symptoms were similar. I was seeing a consultant and he suggested an early scan, they arranged it at my booking appointment with the MW at 8 weeks. It's better to wait longer for an early scan, just because early scans can be notoriously inaccurate and end up worrying you more than they reassure you. After 8 weeks, the risk of MC drops quite significantly and baby is usually big enough to be measured better.

In terms of stopping worrying, I think I took a test almost every day up until my 12 week scan. I definitely went beyond my 8 week scan in terms of testing. It's really hard to not worry, and you'll be doing all kinds of symptoms spotting!

I'm now 34 weeks, so almost at the end! Good luck to you, I know it's stupid advice, but trying to relax is all you can do, it's a horrible limbo time xx

moomin11 · 19/05/2019 12:56

I agree that the cheapy tests aren't always useful for seeing lines darkening. Even the digital one showing weeks can be inaccurate and cause unnecessary worry. I've had loads of early scans (4 previous losses) and I would definitely say don't have one till at least 7 weeks. I have to have them unfortunately but they cause a lot of stress. My EPU have been great and my GP was happy to refer me for an early scan when I had had 2 mcs before so hopefully yours will be too.

Good luck to everyone going through this anxious time

Cookit · 19/05/2019 13:15

I got pregnant 3 times last year (last one resulted in my newborn) so I understand, also a MMC and a CP.

I don’t totally prescribe to the theory that any line is a line because I was able to predict my own MCs, including the MMC at nearly 12 weeks - that one the lines got darker but not quickly enough. I also backed it up with blood HCG tests because I knew. Anyway, I will say this however - the cheap tests never got darker past a certain point on my successful pregnancy. The FRERs did though.
Also I self referred at 5 weeks to the midwife and when they called to schedule my 8/9 week booking in appointment they also scheduled a 6 week scan taking into consideration my recent history. If they hadn’t done that I’d have had a 7 week private scan.

Flip