Do feelings change ?

[Becca48]

Just found out I'm pregnant with my first unsure how far yet as have been taking the pill so it was unplanned
Don't feel ready for a child yet and feel bad for not feeling happy and excited about it just hope these feelings change, has anyone else felt similar when they found out ? I really feel so bad, it's not that I never want children 🤦‍♀️

They might, but they might not. Sorry that’s more helpful!

Are you committed to carrying this pregnancy to term? You have options.

If I were in your shoes I’d find out what sort of date I’d be comfortable having a termination with and what it’d be like versus an early one. And then I’d give myself some time to just imagine scenarios. Imagine being pregnant and then giving birth and how that would play out, imagine having a termination and how you’d feel.

If you decide now isn’t the right time and in your heart you know you’re not ready that’s okay. It’s your body and your choice, and doesn’t have to be a huge emotionally fraught decision.

Termination isn't an option as I have experienced this when younger, couldn't do it again.

I think it is more shock at the moment and realising that things will need to change. I just don't feel ready to change but I will have to. Also have bad anxiety so probably think the worst straight away.

As the days have gone on I think I'm feeling a bit better and speaking to friends and family is helping, and I'm hoping that it will make me feel better once I start going to appointments :)

Just feel bad that I wasn't excited when I found out I was more worried, got a lot of support around me though so fingers crossed it'll all be ok

Sometimes, yes! My pregnancy was unplanned and I generally hated the entire thing (I remember googling around 20-22 weeks “what’s the latest you can get an abortion in the uk” and then crying afterwards because I felt guilty) but I love my daughter and enjoy motherhood

Absolutely normal. I was quite ambivilant all the way through (unplanned) and now I couldn't love him more. The first 6months were really hard going but whether planned or unplanned I think this is the same for all first timers. Best of luck, there's no right or wrong way to feel xx

Thanks everyone 🙂
I thought it was just me being selfish and horrible but i think once the appointments and scans come around it will feel more real and I will feel better as I don't know how far I am or much about anything at the minute xx

I'm still pregnant with an unplanned baby. I feel better and better about having it as time goes on and we reach milestones, scans, feeling the baby. Definitely still have wobbles: are we ready, how will I cope with losing a lot of myself, will we be any good. Especially when going through unwell patches. But do feel the happiness and excitement growing, and very glad we are having the baby.

Obviously this will not be the case for everyone, and termination is the best option for some. But if you are decided against it, I figured hearing from someone a little way ahead of you who felt similar might help.

Sometimes yes, as pps have said.

I've got 8 weeks (ish) left and I only really started to get excited last week. I've spent the majority of my pregnancy in a state of disconnect.
I took my dad to my midwife appointment last week as I had a few bits I needed his help with and he heard the heartbeat, he got really excited and listening to him and my midwife discussing various aspects of my pregnancy and his and mum's relationship really opened my eyes to the fact that I'm actually going to be a mummy. Up until then my dp (the least excitable man I know) had been the one getting all excited and planning for this mini fidget, I now get his excitement and I can't wait to meet them either.

Tbh if my dad hadn't come, I think I would still be at that stage of disconnect until the baby arrives.

Whatever happens good luck you'll be great and everything will be ok