22 Weeks - You're HUGE!

[Jellybaby13]

What gives people the right to comment on how big or small a woman's baby bump is?

I'm 22 weeks today and the comments I've been generally getting is that I'm 'HUGE'. That word. Huge. Making me feel so self conscious about myself it's unbelievable.

It's not like us pregnant women have a hard enough time to adapting to our changing bodies...

If anyone else is feeling a little like me, I find that going on Pinterest and researching baby bumps of your week helps because some are bigger or the same size! Every woman is different.

This was more of a rant than a question. Sorry, I needed to vent and wonder if others had had the same experience with people? I try and laugh it off now but I feel like I'm only adding fuel to the fire...

Everyone used to tell me at around that stage that I was tiny and their partners were so much bigger and that is equally annoying because it makes you think your baby isn’t growing as they should. Smile and ignore.

I’ve had it lots. People I know, strangers, you name it.

I’m due in 5 days and yesterday the receptionist in my doctors asked me if I was sure I wasn’t twins. Surely working in a doctors surgery she would know that if it was twins they would have picked up on that by now

I used to lie about my due date to strangers because my bump was so big (I had polyhydramnios and a lot of amniotic fluid). I'd just say I was due quite soon to avoid the shocked and horrified reaction! It's bloody annoying though - as if you hadn't noticed the size of your abdomen and need a stranger to helpfully inform you of it
We're all different - 2 school mums have just had babies, one had a sizeable bump and the other was barely noticeably pregnant and they both had healthy babies. I totally know how you feel though

I always get told how tiny my bump is. It isn’t tiny just hides well under my clothes but then I constantly worry that it’s not as big as it should be which led me to check my weight, use a weight calculator and panic I was putting on too much weight I don’t think people realise what they are saying. I have never commented on someone pregnancy bump before as I have never had children so didn’t feel it was my place to but now I’m pregnant I’m so relived I never have and vow never to comment in future!

Oh the comments drive me mad! In my first pregnancy up until about 25w all I heard was "you don't even look pregnant!" and "You've hardly gained anything!" Suddenly I popped and then it was all "My god you're HUGE!", "You're due WHEN? No they must have your dates wrong - you look ready to pop!" and my all-time favourite, "are you sure it's not TWINS?!" Usually all of these are said very loudly in horrified tones so that anyone within a 5 mile radius can hear and stares at you. I'm pregnant with my second now and wearing lots of floaty/long things so people can't really see my body at all. I've not fully popped yet though so doubtless the comments will begin when I do.

Most people aren’t really all that interested and just say something, anything, to avoid awkward silence. The size of the bump is the most obvious visible thing to remark on. You’ll probably find one person says it’s huge and another tiny on the same day!

If someone told me mine was huge I’d feel really proud and happy that I was growing a baby so well 😂 so it couldn’t be malicious if I said it to someone else, not that I would from seeing people’s feelings on here. I think I have to close friends said they look huge but in a really positive wow, look how well the baby is growing, must be healthy kinds way. The size of your bump is entirely out of your control so there’s nothing to really get offended over. You can’t prevent people making comments in the way you can and should stop them touching.

Don’t read too much into it!

I’m 22w. My grandma yesterday: helpfully pointed out that I will get bigger than this Well, yes, I should hope so!
Then told me that she was as big as me at full term in all her pregnancies, and never weighed more than 8st 2lb. I think this says more about her memory of events, and unhealthy attitude towards weight, than it does about me or my bump!

The next person who says 'are you sure it's not twins?' to me is going on a bonfire

Yes same experience.
I was frequently told from 6m (esp by MiL) that I was huge & I quote " carrying a whopper". My LG was 6lbs9. These comments are ridiculous not to mention rude, grit your teeth & try to ignore!

Yes it’s so annoying and hate to tell you this but it just seems to get worse and worse the more pregnant you get.. I’m 36 weeks now!

Yes to the PP who said about the ‘I looked like you at full term’ comments from MIL. Wonder if we are related?! My MIL & DM were apparently both tiny, barely put on any weight at all and no one realised they were pregnant! How can I be looking so pregnant with all those fabulous genes they’ve given me?!

I think you’re right, people get post pregnancy memory loss and your bump looks a different size to yourself than others!

It really upset me how people were commenting on how small and neat my bump was. A friend who's 6 weeks behind me popped way earlier than me and everyone was commenting on how she looked so pregnant and I didn't. And comments on whether I was as far along as I said I was! Really got to me as people kept on going on about it, and made me feel like I was failing at growing baby. Definitely would never comment on the size of another woman's bump, as big or small a bump is growing how it needs to be. People are just rude

If it helps I'm 29 weeks and got told by the same person within 15 minutes that I was both Huge for 29 weeks and then barely showing and had a really small bump. Makes me very self conscious 😔 just ignore people, I think they panic and say the first thing that comes to their head

Ah I can relate! I'm 37 weeks now and the past few weeks I have gotten told I'm MASSIVE several times a day by work colleagues and just this afternoon at a family gathering by 4 or 5 peeps! I just smile and rub my belly and say well yea there is a fully cooked human in here so.... some people lol!

I had one well meaning but incredibly rude colleague exclaim that same comment through every stage of my pregnancy and was also really upset.

It’s so rude. I agree it’s hard when you’re already struggling to adapt to your new body.

Because society believes a woman’s body is public property. And this is only exacerbated by pregnancy.

I found it and still find it extremely fucking rude. My “friends” still talk about how I put weight on all over and not like “friend X” who has now got a cute lil bump and nothing else (not true she’s got a massive arse but I wouldn’t say that to her or anyone else!).
Jokes on them bc I’m now back to pre pregnancy weight and look better than they do.

Oh and whilst I’m ranting. People also love to talk about how much your baby weighs - even before they are born. But especially after.
Mine was larger than average but no means a record breaker (well under 9). And oh Jesus you should hear the comments then when a newborn and still going on now.
Again, jokes on them bc baby is exceptionally beautiful (not stealth boast, just fact) and is way ahead of peers in terms of development - I know this doesn’t really matter in baby years so much but I enjoy that they all talk about what a lump baby was but now LO is an absolute boss.

"You know how before I was pregnant you wouldn't have commented on my body because it would be hugely rude? Why exactly do you think that has changed?"

Thanks for the replies everyone! And thanks for all the advice you've written! I'm glad we're all on the same page with this!

In my first pregnancy the lady who sat next to me at work said my bump was worryingly small. Nice, eh? I really don't understand why people feel the need to comment in a negative way on another persons body.

I’m only 20 weeks and yesterday I had a family member say to me ‘I can’t believe how big you are already’ then today was my first day back in work after a week annual leave and all I got was comments from people saying ‘oh you have gotten so big’ I’m already self conscious without people keeping commenting on it 😭

I'm 31 weeks and people constantly tell me how small I am but that i will BALLOON soon. Why can't people just keep their gobs shut.

Ignore! People are rude!

I’ve had lots of comments about how small my bump is, how I don’t look 6 months pregnant and even compared to a phantom pregnancy 🤨

While i’d probably rather being referred to as small than huge, it makes me nervous/sad that my baby isn’t growing well. Midwife will start measuring me from my next visit so hopefully all will be fine.

MIL keeps telling me to “eat up! You’re eating for 2 you know, you need baby to grow!!” Really annoying!!

Also, my DM carries similarly to me so if people didn’t comment I wouldn’t feel worried.

Ignore them or give a sassy response “Oh Thanks, does that give me permission to comment on your body now?”

I feel your pain but I genuinely don't think people realise!
Pre-pregnancy I assumed it would be a compliment as I'd be so excited about the thought of a baby bump. Clearly I now know different! I think the same with the small thing - they're trying to say you're impressed you've kept your shape.

People dont get it. Just remember you are also very hormonal and people see it VERY differently to being fat!