Struggling with work

[aliensprig]

Hopefully someone is in the same boat as me...

Currently 8 weeks pregnant with my first baby and working full time office hours in a busy public sector job.

Really, really struggling with tiredness and nausea - workload just seems to be piling up on top of me and I feel a bit like I'm drowning. Pregnancy wasn't planned, in fact I thought it might be hard for me to conceive as I have an underactive thyroid (seeing an endocrinologist soon).

For the last few months we've been in the process of buying our first house which, while there's no chain, is also really weighing on me as the sellers are dragging their feet. All we want to do is move out of our crappy rented place!! So there's that as well.

To top it off my job is temporary til the end of November through an agency, which means I have no idea if we will be able to live on our income once I start maternity leave. My husband also works full time but we might struggle to pay the mortgage and afford things for the baby. Incidentally the employer I work for offers a brilliant maternity package but only if you're a permanent employee - something else getting me down.

All of this is really messing up my head and making me feel like now's not the best time
for us to bring a little life into the world, but I can't imagine having a termination.

Any support/advice/soothing words would be gratefully received

Hi,

I'm in the same sort of boat. I'm currently 8.5 weeks. I have all day sickness, starts around 6.30am, right up until about 2am. Dry heaving constantly all day, can't bare most foods.

I'm an E-Commerce & Marketing Manager and work 8-5 Monday-Friday. I'm tired all day every day, falling asleep at my desk, having to run to the toilet. Feeling miserable!

I saved £4000 into a mortgage cash ISA this year, and was planning another year next year (with my DP doing the same matching it in his own ISA). The plan was to save next year and the year after, look for a mortgage on a house/apartment.

I couldn't imagine a termination either, when this unplanned little thing came along, I just felt happy, and so did DP, so that was all that mattered at the same, in terms of making a decision of what to do.

I'm a worrier at the best of times, so I've been completely stressed out in terms of taking maternity leave, affording maternity pay, still trying to save for a mortgage, how do I go back to work?! How do I even become a parent? It's a lot to take on for the first time, for me anyway.

I'm lucky enough to have a good emotional support system, with close family and friends. I find voicing your worries to them helps, they tend to have good advice and solutions to worries. And at the end of the day I think, there are people worse off financially and otherwise (my mum being one, she raised 5 brilliant kids on little to no money), that manage just fine and find a way through.

Can you work from home? I found that really helped and would start at 7 so I could have a sleep by 3:30. If not then see if you can get signed off for 2 weeks - as it’s pregnancy related it won’t count against you.

@Teddybear45 technically I can work from home, but it makes my job considerably harder and there's bits of it I have to do in the office... As an agency worker I'm nervous that they (either the job agency or the employer) would just choose to end my contract early if I take extended time off sick :s

@EdajOvor I haven't told anyone yet apart from my boss and a senior colleague at work, I wasn't planning to until after the first scan cause I can't deal with people's reactions yet!!

Might be best just to tell them. I’m a nurse and had to tell some people at 5 weeks as I just felt so bloody horrendous I needed some support. If you just tell your boss they should be professional and not spread it around, then they can either help with your workload or you can go get signed off for a week or two to get some rest. What I’ve learnt is that you just have to put you and your baby first and not worry about what work think.

@aliensprig I had to tell my boss and a colleague due to needing a couple of days off already and running to the toilet throughout the day. Other than that I've told my Partner, Best Friend and Mum. I was due to go to the gym the morning I took the pregnancy test and completely freaked out so I told my Best Friend when she came to go with me, my mum I had to tell, just for advice etc.

We're not publicly announcing anything to anyone else until after the 12 week scan/tests just to be sure. But if there are people that you think could help ease your mind you should tell them. It has helped me heaps.