Just a bit of a moan really

[Dontbeadick]

Why does noone give up their seats on public transport anymore? Before I was pregnant, I would always give up my seat for someone who was pregnant, but it seems like I'm one of the few. Once again, I'm on a packed commuter train where people have shoved past me to get the last seat.

Have any of you experienced this?

I just ask if someone would mind making room for me. I explain I’m pregnant. I’ve not been declined yet, and I don’t particularly care if it pisses people off! 😂

When pressed, someone would have to be pretty awful to not move for a pregnant woman!

I ask. Never wait for someone to notice if you need a seat - it won’t go anywhere.

Yep I'd ask loudly! It's a shame you have to but it should work.

I’ve not had this problem. I deliberately don’t wear a baby on board badge most days because I’m only on the tube for a few stops and it sometimes seems like more hassle to sit down then stand up again. Pretty much every journey I get offered a seat, and at 21 weeks although there’s a bump I’m definitely not enormous!

I'm 25 weeks and have to be wearing a badge to get offered a seat. People will move if asked though. I feel a bit awkward about it sometimes but after a couple of fainting episodes, am beginning to accept that I must ask!

Being pregnant doesn’t mean you deserve a seat. There may be people on the train who are more tired, with hidden disabilities or just don’t want to stand. Because of this, if you actually need a seat so like feel faint for example then ask for one. But I hate this attitude that pregnant women are entitled a seat and everyone should just get up for them simply because they’ve chosen to get knocked up. For most people pregnancy is not a Illness

@rainbowlovesfroot -, yes pregnant women can be entitled to a seat. It depends on the terms and conditions of your train provider. It’s definitely the case on all London public transport whether you have a baby on board badge or not.

@rainbowlovesfroot - the internalised misogyny is strong in this one

Thanks everyone. I'll just be to be a big girl and ask. Wish we had those badges in the north west mind!

@Buddytheelf85 I'm going to play devil's advocate here and say to an extent I agree with @rainbowlovesfroot. Though I'm very newly pregnant, I also have hypothyroidism and know what it's like to be achey and exhausted ALL THE TIME. If a healthy pregnant woman with more energy and stamina is entitled to a seat, then surely those of us with chronic illnesses are as well? That's not misogynistic, just a sad fact of life that some of us face. Best not to judge a book by its cover.

@Dontbeadick you can get the badges for free in mothercare, I know the Birmingham stores have them by the check outs.

@buddytheelf85
Please explain to me how it’s “internalised misogyny”?

@Teddybear45
If a company promises to offer pregnant women (elderly etc) a seat, then of course they are entitled to a seat because they paid for it/chose the company because of that. Etc etc

What I’m saying is that we live on 2019, where we want a society that doesn’t see pregnant women as weak, where pregnant women can be hired at new jobs, where women are = to men. If I see a pregnant women standing on the train, I’m not necessarily going to get up for her just because she is pregnant. I don’t assume just because she is pregnant she is weak or incapable of standing. If she needs a seat she is an adult and can ask. Obviously If she looks visibly sick/faint, I would of course offer her my seat but that’s because I’m not a shitty human. I’d do that for a man who looked faint/on crutches or a non-pregnant women.

Being pregnant doesn’t entitle you to a seat at all.

You have to ask. I am 34 weeks and asked for the first time last week. Up until now I've been ok to stand, OR been able to get a seat without anyone giving one up. But i am massive now, very tired, feel faint quickly and have SPD and backache. So I will ask noone in particular, quite loudly 'would anyone mind letting me sit down for the next couple of stops please?'. Tends to work better than loitering staring at people in my experience!

Never happened for me in actual fact I was asked to move out of the seat where you can have a pram to make way for his wheelchair and I was heavily pregnant with baby in pram.

I have to say I don't really understand the whole equality thing being a reason not to give a pregnant woman a seat. Noone is demanding that only men stand up. Also, whilst pregnancy isn't an illness, it can cause debilitating side effects. Mostly for me it's a health and safety issue. A perfectly healthy elderly person could get onto a train. Does that mean people shouldn't get up for them either?

Personally, I would always offer. They can then decline the seat if they don't need it. I certainly don't think that someone who "Just doesn't want to stand" should take priority over someone who is more likely to be injured in the event of the train braking sharply/a crush.

@rainbowlovesfroot - well, you wrote this for starters:

But I hate this attitude that pregnant women are entitled a seat and everyone should just get up for them simply because they’ve chosen to get knocked up.

Dirty women - think they’re entitled to seats just cos they opened their legs!

@rainbowlovesfroot - thank goodness most people don’t think like you. Like it or not, Pregnancy does make a woman more vulnerable to getting hurt on public transport. Pregnant women are more likely to lose their balance - that is why nearly all public transport providers have seats specifically for pregnant women. Even those that don’t (mostly train providers) will cancel reservations for able-bodied people on busy services to ensure pregnant women are seated safely - I have seen this in action.

Also, unless you’re a doctor, how would you know if someone is ill enough to ‘deserve’ a seat by your standards. I’m not white. I don’t go pale before I pass out. I just pass out.

@teddybear45
Clearly most people DO agree with me if people are complaining that no1 is getting up for them on a train

I’m not saying pregnant women aren’t often uncomfortable or swollen or whatever. I’m just saying that we shouldn’t expect people to jump out of their chairs at the sight of a bump- we should simply ASK FOR A SEAT.

rainbowlovesfroot 🙄 you sound lovely (and the kind of person who wouldn’t give up a seat I would imagine...)

OP I’m currently on a train trying not to be sick - I feel your pain.

@gettingonabitnow just throw up, preferably on their shoes

@gettingonabitnow

I’ve clearly stated that I would give up my seat if they needed it more than I or simply asked for it.

THIS IS MY LIFE.

I wear a badge for a reason. Normally it's about 20 people in a carriage and yet they (normally men in suits...) look at the badge and keep on chewing their gum or whatever. My main concern is being pressed or shaken over, which is known to be bad for the baby.

One thing I will say, is there is always that one person - who even if they are at the other end of the carriage - will ask. I always take the seat. It's typical British culture that people are shy to talk on the tube when that one person breaks the mould and asks, I want them to realise I appreciate it. I also want to make sure other women get the same help.

It's the same as giving a seat up for the elderly.

The reason women wear a badge is that people on public transport can be so nasty and you want a bit of space around the stomach area and to 'prove you're pregnant'