Am I being baby crazy?!

[Yogisunflower91]

I'm 3 months into a new job, which I'm very much enjoying (probationary period is 6 months)
I'm desperate to speak to someone who's non biased + can tell me what I'm feeling is normal/not to worry.
My husband + I have always planned to TTC this year, but having started a new job, there's a part of me that feels scared considering I've just joined a new company. I'm desperate to become a mum + I know there will never be a right time, but I'm nervous for how people will react/getting let go if I do fall pregnant. Ive been taking pre pregnancy vitamins + we've both been really healthy getting ourselves prepared physically, I'm just worrying about the work thing. Ps note that my manager is soon to be reducing their hours due to personal reasons so I fear that more responsibility is going to be put on me over the next few months (which I'm grateful + happy for) however becoming pregnant is where my hearts at at the moment. Meanwhile every where I look someone is announcing a pregnancy or giving birth + I feel so lost that it's not me.

You're right that there's never a right time to try for a baby. Also remember you could start TTC and it not happen straight away, things could change and you have no way of knowing in advance. I had a nice stable job when we started TTC. 12m later nothing had happened, so I handed my notice in, lo and behold found out I was pregnant 2 weeks later. That was a bit of a nightmare at the time but we all survived!

Look into the minimum requirement for maternity leave/pay, that's all I'd caution. But then don't put your life on hold to TTC.

Would it be worth waiting until you’ve been in your job the correct amount of time or close to it before trying if you would get an enhanced maternity package?

It’s totally normal what you’re feeling. Keep in mind even a healthy couple can take a year to conceive plus once pregnant you’ve got 40-42 weeks before baby arrives and that adds up to a lot of time at work. Focus on completing your probation so you secure the job you like. In the meantime there’s no reason not to ttc. Deal with announcing your pregnancy once it actually happens (you’re under no obligation to tell work until you’re ready most people wait until 12 weeks scan is done). I’ve just been through similar and it’s been fine work was very supportive once I did announce. Good luck! X

They can't let you go if you fall pregnant. And who cares how anyone reacts? I interviewed last year for an exciting new job for an amazing company I never thought I'd have the chance to work in. During my last week of notice at my previous job I found out I was pregnant! I was due to start new job a few days later and went thru similar thinking and worrying as you. I considered telling them upfront so they have the chance to cancel me starting, or just not telling them why I won't be starting etc. But I started working there, didn't tell anyone until a few weeks into it, and it couldn't have worked out better. Everyone was so supportive and not one person held it against me. I'm now on maternity leave with an offer to go back working there as they want me back. Don't worry like I said you can't get fired for being pregnant and it might just work out wonderfully for you too :)

Wait until your probationary period is over to ttc

I would wait until your probationary period is over, so that even if you got pregnant immediately you will have worked there for at least one full year before going off on maternity leave. It’s a balance, on one hand yeah, don’t risk your chances of not having a family for a job that’ll have someone else in your place if you quit tomorrow, but if you do have some time (you’re not mid late thirties for example) I think it’s sensible to wait a little while longer to ensure you’re settled in at work, know the job and develop a good reputation prior to trying.

You can use the next three months to keep preparing and track your cycles. Use an app and OPKs to check when you ovulate and come off any contraception and use condoms. Then when three months from now rolls around you have a good shot at conceiving within the first few cycles if all is well! Also ensure you’re at a healthy weight as being significantly overweight/obese is one of the most dangerous but avoidable risk factors for your baby’s health and increases the risk of miscarriage and a whole other range of serious problems.

There’s a book called Expecting Better about pregnancy and conceiving you might enjoy reading in the meantime to prepare yourself!

Thank you everyone for your advice comments! I'm going to continue to work hard at my job whilst TTC I'll leave it up to the powers that be, life is too short, like some said I can't put my life on hold.
I have my 3 month probation meeting today, so I'm hoping that goes well too.

@EmeraldRubyShark great advice Thankyou! I'm in my late twenties. Ive not been on an hormonal contraceptives for a while. Thanks for the book recommendation I will definitely look that up! X

I personally think the sensible option is to wait until you are past your probationary (you only have another 3 months) and then start. Early pregnancy can be a bitch and you definitely don’t want it to impact performance during this critical period.

During my first trimester, I was exhausted and my work definitely suffered because of it. If you are lucky and get pregnant straight away, then you will need to cope with it along with trying to pass probation. I wouldn't want the extra stress.

For the sake of three months, I would make sure I'm out of probation and stable before stopping contraception.

Also please remember that your fertility journey may not be straightforward. I hope it is. But my husband and I are perfectly healthy and it took us five years, several IVF and a few losses to end up with this twin pregnancy. I'm just highlighting that even if you chose the "right" time to try, you may not have instant success. I genuinely hope you have an easier journey than mine!

Same Cosmo... I’m amazed at how difficult even being seven weeks pregnant is making things at work. I have insomnia now and am so tired I could cry, I feel sick most of the time, and I’m constantly exhausted. Feels hard enough atm to do my normal job to my usual standard and I really wouldn’t fancy being in probation right now where you have to impress and work even harder and go above and beyond!

There's never a right time. I was in what I thought was a secure job for 2.5 years. Got pregnant (planned) and was told I was being made redundant when I was 5 weeks gone (work didn't know I was pregnant. Was just one of those things).
Started a new job at 12 weeks gone. Told new company 2 weeks in. They have been brilliant.

It's not ideal. I'm now 31 weeks and will have been in my new job a few days shy of 6 months when I go on MAT leave.

I would wait until your probation period is up, its only another 3 months.

Bearing in mind, if you start TTC now and fall pregnant right away, and then you dont pass your probation, you're going to find it tricky (not impossible) to find a new role whilst already being pregnant, and even if you do - you'll be in the position there that you're worried about in your current work - being pregnant and going off on mat leave when you're still new. You also might not qualify for statutory maternity pay (or any maternity scheme the employer offers) in that time frame.

Also remember that even as a permanent employee, your company can get rid of you at any time with very little effort in the first 2 years of your employment. Its not until working at the same place for 2 years that you have any kind of rights. Sad but true!

If I were you I would definitely wait until you have passed your probation at least - then touch wood you will fall pregnant quickly and you'll still have at least 8-9 months of working there before you head off. That will make it much easier to come back to as well (if thats your plan)

How old are you? 23 wait until you are a bit more established in your role, 33+ gfi you never know how long it will take (although it often is 1st month - be warned! Lol)

Thertruthisoutwhere OP said late twenties.

Which means it’d be wise to start sooner rather than later, in case you have problems, but you’re not so pushed for time you can’t wait a few months :)

As you are in your 20s definitely wait until you have passed your probation - you have loads of time. It will fly by and you will be more secure.

Check out your company's maternity policy and consider waiting until you qualify for enhanced benefits.

Depending upon your finances you might want to wait longer so you have better workplace protection. Although you can't be sacked for being pregnant you can still be sacked or made redundant for other reasons. You can't claim unfair dismissal until you have been employed for 2 years.

There is never a right time and it is completely up to you. I had a temporary contract when my partner and I decided to start trying, we were trying to time it so that I would be due when my contract finished. However this did not happen, this was over almost a year, think it too a while for the pill to get out of my system. When my contract ended I interviewed and got another job as I was not pregnant and we deliberately put trying on hold for a few months for work. Then before the contract was even due to start I found out i had fallen pregnant while we were not trying because of work! To be fair work have been amazing, I told my boss very early (about 8 weeks) because I felt it was only fair she know, I genuinely didn't know when I interviewed, i even did a test before to check! My new boss was very nice and put it well and basically said you cant put your life on hold for work. I am working as much time as I can for them before baby comes and everyone has been lovely (I know I've been very lucky). You have no idea how long it will take you, it takes most people a year, it's normal for it to take longer and it will happen when you least expect it, we were 'not trying' when i fell pregnant compared to so many months of trying and timing things carefully, do what feels right for you, obviously after considering finances and practicalities etc but it boils down to what do you want, don't put your life on hold for work. Good luck with whatever decision you make, do what makes you happy, life is too short!

@Daffodil2491 thank you for your comment and advice, Congratulations to you on your pregnancy. X

@Yogisunflower91 😊 no worries and thanks, we are very excited, good luck with your journey hope it is a smooth ride, take care x