Hysterectomy age 30 - what would you do?

[Mothermason]

I feel so alone in this right now, I don’t know where to turn. I’m 30 and due to borderline ovarian tumours my surgeon has recommended full hysterectomy. I have one DS through IVF. My husband agrees with my surgeon. I want another pregnancy and baby so much. I know there are other ways and I will consider them but don’t know where to begin. Most of my friends aren’t even thinking about children yet let alone possibly the ability to have them taken and surgical menopause induced so I have no one to talk to. I can’t stop crying because i feel Like I have lost something so important to me. I need to decide soon. Any advice welcome xx

I take it the tumours are Cancerous? If so, the right thing to so is have the hysterectomy. I know it’s difficult but ovarian cancers can be very tricky to completely eradicate unless you have the full hysterectomy. That doesn’t mean children aren’t an option - a lot of clinics have link ups (informal if not formal) to surrogacy services both in the UK and abroad.

Please count you’re blessings you have a DS and supporting DH. I had mine at 23 unplanned emergency and lost my chance to have children and my DH.

Ovarian cancer is horrible (not that there are any nice cancers). If you want to be around for the dc you already have then you're safer having the op, even though I realise it must be heartbreaking for you .

OP that sounds really hard! Have you spoken to your surgeon about your hopes for another pregnancy?
A hysterectomy, and therefore menopause, at 30 is a big thing- it's entirely reasonable to want a second opinion. Can you also get a few urgent sessions with a counsellor to help you think? You must have so many conflicting feelings.
It can help to go through the BRAIN questions:
What are the Benefits? Risks? Alternatives? What is your Intuition/gut feeling? What happens if you do Nothing?
Sometimes that makes it easier to see the wood for the trees.

@Teddybear45 they are borderline tumours but aggressive but no reason to say they will become cancerous. He just thinks I have a high chance of it returning as it was aggressive and had spread a lot.

@pasethia I know you are right and I do count my blessings. I’m sorry to hear this happened to you, it must have been so hard

I think you need to go back to the consultant. I have never heard of aggressive and non-cancerous being used together.

Would it be an option to have a further cycle of IVF with hopefully some embryos to freeze and then have the ovaries removed but keep your womb? Then you would potentially have the chance for a future pregnancy. Or delay the surgery until your family is complete?

Is it worth getting a second opinion from another specialist?

I know this is so difficult for you and your feelings are totally valid. But if I were in your position, I would opt for the full hysterectomy. If there was even the slightest chance of those tumours becoming malignant in future, or more tumours returning, I would absolutely get rid of the whole machinery to increase my chances of being around for my existing child.

I know it's heartbreaking and you would be grieving for your lost fertility. We can't make the decision for you of course.

This happened to a friend of mine, she had cancerous tumours on her ovaries at age 27 and had to have a full hysterectomy before she had the chance to start a family.

@Teddybear45 you are right, I think this sort of thing requires a second opinion.

@Darkstar4845 sadly everything would hve to go as what I had had already spread quite far and into that park above the womb (can never remember the name!) but I will push for a round of IVF first and then possibly use surrogacy. Which I know zero about!!

I think it's worth getting a second opinion and also if you can speak to a fertility specialist to determine if there is any way to preserve your fertility (such as freezing embryos).