Unplanned pregnancy - don’t know what to do

[Juneburg]

Over the weekend I discovered I was pregnant. I take a test every month and am currently on the pill.

I’m not sure how this happened, I haven’t missed any pills but did have periods of sick leave prior to conception, which may have resulted in my pill not being effective.

We don’t know what to do. We have been together for a short while and kids were always part of the plan, just not yet.

We’ve been thinking about it constantly over the past few days but with never anything additional to add.

My SO will support my decision whatever it is, but that doesn’t make it easier. He has reservations about keeping it based on finances, the responsibility and that we had a lot of plans that we would struggle to carry out.

We are financially comfortable, but would definitely not be able to afford to lavish ourselves and would need to make a few cut backs on meals and activities.

We are both in shock, but need to make a decision quickly.

I have previously had an abortion which took me two years to fully come to terms with, so I am frightened that another one will result in the same consequences and it will cause our relationship to suffer.

I don’t know what I want. In an ideal world, we would keep it and the fact I haven’t instantly decided on an abortion has made me consider that perhaps what I do want deep down is to keep the baby.

My SO is not for or against any decision, he knows ultimately it is my decision to make and is willing to support me regardless, but I know keeping it would put a huge amount of stress on him and worry about being able to financially support all three of us (I currently work and would definitely return to work after maternity and this has always been my plan with any pregnancy).

What should we be considering? What are the basic costs of raising a child and what should I know about raising a child/pregnancy before making the decision?

He has two previous children, I have none - so this is all very new to me and I don’t know what realistically the pros/cons to having a child are

If it’s a matter of finances you can always make it work. Money matters should not influence a decision based on life or death of a baby.

You are financially comfortable as you said.

I think you'd find that once you have a child ravishing yourself with extra meals out and activities won't seem as important. You'll get joy in other ways.

Basic costs vary and that will depend on you and how well you can budget.

*lavishing!! 🙈

I think you already know what you want to do yourself! As above posters have said, finances shouldn't be an issue as you are financially comfortable, and even those that aren't do make it work anyway. I understand you've only been together for a short time makes the decision hard, but from reading what you've wrote, it really seems like you know what you want to do already. Good luck whatever you decide!