Overwhelming fear of stillbirth

[User1938382]

My mum had a stillbirth when I was very young, and my best friend had one just last year. I'm currently 29 weeks and it's all I can think about. Every little ache, pain and symptom I go into melt down. I just feel like I know I'm not coming home with this baby. There's so long left I can't take it. What do I do?

You poor thing - May be worth speaking to a midwife to see if they can offer some extra support? My mum had to give birth early before she had me as the baby had a birth defect not compatible with life and also my cousin who’s also a dear friend had a very similar situation 5 years ago. Because of this I also have a fear of something being wrong or being picked up at my scan but had 20 week scan few days ago and all seems very. I know how frightening and scary it is! My advice and what helps me - think of all the women around you that have had no problems. There will be absolutely loads - something bad happening so late is the absolute minority. Keep an eye as I’m sure you will on movements etc and stay healthy. Also meditation and listening to relaxing music or positive affirmations before bed or when your feeling anxious may help! Your nearly there, not long and that beautiful bubs will be in your arms. I know what anxiety is like so I wish you all the best 😘 xxxx

Also when you know people that have been through it If course your fear enhanced xx

I remember feeling the exact same way with both my pregnancies but more so with my first for some reason! I was at the hospital constantly with her to be monitored and in the end, had to be induced due to reduced fetal movements.
I think it’s worth you speaking to your midwife about how you’re feeling and what fears you may have. It’s so much more worrying when you know someone who has gone through something like that as well. Try and be positive and always go and get checked if you notice your baby’s movements have decreased.

I also feel like this I have had three misscarriages so I think that’s why , I’m 36 weeks now an worry the cord will wrap round babies neck and he’ll be stillborn, it’s so hard xx

Oh, my dear, I can completely relate! I was super relaxed about most things pregnancy and childbirth related, but with both my pregnancies had overwhelming sensations of panic about stillbirth starting at 37 weeks. My grandmother had two still births, and two people close to me have also experienced one each. The midwives were really understanding when I broke down in tears with them about it. A few things helped:

1. they showed me the overall stats on stillbirth, which are really low. The fact that so many have occurred in our midst is devastating but not representative
2. they walked me through all the known risk factors for stillbirth and we ascertained that I had none of them. That’s not to say it couldn’t still happen, but it means it was even more unlikely than the overall stats would suggest
3. since the risk increases when a pregnancy goes more than a week or two overdue, they promised to induce me after 40+5 if I was anxious, even though they wouldn’t typically induce until 40+12 (turned out not to be necessary!)

Talk about it maybe with your healthcare providers and see if they can provide any reassurances. Know that you aren’t alone in this anxiety though... and for what it’s worth, I ended up having 2 uncomplicated births and healthy children (knock on wood!)

Hang in there. Pregnancy can feel like such a vulnerable time.

I had the same anxiety and fear - my MIL had several stillbirths - in the end I requested a c section due to that and because several friends had bad experiences with forced forceps deliveries (one child left permanently brain damaged) which was approved however I would have needed one anyway as baby ended up breach x

Going overdue gets risky the more overdue you are. At 42 weeks and 6 days overdue, you have a 1/226 chance of a stillbirth.