Pregnant unsure what to do

[Ljk21]

Hi, I have recently found out I'm pregnant based on my last period im estimating around 5 weeks. It was completely unplanned and a total shock to say the least. I am booked at the doctors tomorrow to discuss my options as I'm torn between what to do.

We have been together for around 2.5 years and have spoke about the whole getting married and having kids and both said further down the line we would like this. My partner is really happy I'm pregnant and said he would support me whatever my choice although I suspect if I had an abortion it would Crush him and I'm not sure we would get through that as a couple as he really wants kids and previously thought he was infertile. He is already wanting to tell people I'm pregnant where as I don't until I've made a decision.

Over the last few days I have talked myself into keeping the baby then having abortion so many times. We are both in stable jobs, have a stable home and family So that's not an issue I guess it more boils down to that it wasn't planned and don't know if I'm ready to be a mother. But in the same breath I also don't know if I will ever be ready.

I guess my question is how many of you knew that you were ready to be 1st time mothers and were prepared for it?

I don't want to regret my decision either way. But it is making me wonder if I'm having doubt does this mean that maybe I don't want kids deep down.

Any help would be greatly appreciated as I'm driving myself nuts! TIA

Totally different situation as i desperately wanted to be a mother and was ttc, but when i saw the positive test it definitely stirred up all the doubts you are having about being 'ready'. So having doubts certainly doesn't mean you definitely don't want children.

Take your time and speak to your GP and any counselling services available. You do have time to make your decision.

I went through ivf for years and when I got my BFP the same doubts ran through my head too. I think it’s natural. Nothing of what you’ve posted suggested there are any concrete reasons for you not to have the baby. Anyway it’s still far too early to be telling people; if you tell your DP to wait until 14 weeks by which point you will have a scan, it should give you breathing time to really digest the news.

Hello! I am still pregnant but now almost 24 weeks along, and your post really described my feelings so wanted to comment.
My husband and I have been together 6 years, married last year, and planned to have a family... but not for a good 3 or 4 years. I'm still early in my career, we rent etc. But found ourselves very unexpectedly expecting.
I never had the lightbulb moment. I still question myself. But I knew we just had to keep the baby, as we want a family one day and decided that while the timing could be better, it is never perfect. I felt nothing but anxious until the 12 week scan. Now I am still anxious.. but I get more and more excited, especially now I've told people. Still don't think we're ready but a lot of planning and chatting and I think we can handle it!
Don't let anyone rush you.. it's a huge decision.. but my advice would be it won't necessarily be an easy one, and your feelings may not just become crystal clear one day! I think many ftms, planning or otherwise, don't really feel ready!

I’m pregnant with my 4th and I still don’t know if I’m ready to be a mother! I don’t think there is a perfect time. Like pp I was ttc but still had an attack of the anxieties when I saw the positive test. I think it’s a natural reaction.

My advice is to take your time and don’t rush into a decision. Tell your dp that his wanting to announce it is actually quite coercive and he shouldn’t be pressuring you into deciding straight away. Hopefully he’s doing it subconsciously rather than that being the desired effect.

Do you have any real life support - a friend or trusted colleague you could confide in and talk to who would just listen rather than make their judgement or opinion known?

I feel for you OP. My first DC (now 3) was completely unplanned and a total shock. The difference was we both felt so unsure about the news and as neither of us felt the time was right. As we knew we wanted kids eventually, we just decided to carry on, make the best of the situation, and plan for the baby, get over the shock and work around the bad timing. We bought our first home when I was pregnant and moved in a few weeks before due date. Just wanted to say It did work out for us following the initial shock.

No one is ready to be parents even if planned or not. As can u scary when it's so real. I think if you keep the baby you when you see her/him you will be happy

Thank you to everyone that took the time to reply, after reading all of them I feel alot more positive than I did when I first found out I was pregnant. I'm so glad that it seems quite normal to have these doubts about being ready even when a pregnancy was planned. I told my best friend last night the news and how I was feeling and that also helped I think talking through I guess my fears to someone other than my partner although i I'm still off to the doctor this afternoon to go through options etc but I have to say I'm leaning towards continuing with the pregnancy. But I just wanted to thank you all for replies.