Boy mum advice!

[HJWT]

So after weeks of knowing I was pregnant with a boy it was finally confirmed yesterday, I have a beautiful DD and all my life never saw my self having a boy! I am excited but scared to!?

So boy mums! Give me some advice about raising a boy!! Luckily I have a nephew so I know how to change his nappy without being peed on 😂

Just like the girl for at least the first ten years, apart from physical stuff like peeing, which you say you have covered.

Small changes after that, usually involving physical changes and making sure he is aware of his power and privilege especially in intimate relationships.

Basically everything you are already doing, raising a good human.

Boys are fab, 20yo DS still likes a cuddle. What you see is what you get.

@SnowsInWater thats nice to know! The only mum/son relationship iv seen is my DM & brother and he doesn't really bother with her to much! I never speak to him...

@ChanklyBore I think about things like how often he will need a hair cut 😂 DD is nearly 3 and still had no hair cut! Think my DH will be 'raising' him, he is the most respectful man iv ever met so if he grows up to be like his dad he will be fine 😁

As far as I know there is no difference at the speed of hair growth for children. But your daughter willl get the privilege of paying more for her haircut because she is female, that’s usually for the whole of her life, so you might need to teach her about that at the same time you teach him about shaving.

I’ve got two boys age 5 and 2 and I think I got peed on a grand total of twice when changing nappies, when they were only a few days old. So that’s not really an issue.

I was shocked to find out I was having a boy too but he has been the most amazing addition to my life. He's very active and interested in everything.
My one is still very young so I don't see much difference in any other baby. His nappie changes are much easier to do than my nieces- less crevices to clean out!
He loves a cuddle and is a real mummy's boy. That said he likes when his Dad pulls silly faces.
I'm going to be aware of things the PP said- teaching him about respect and equality. Maybe I'm inherently sexist but I think it's especially important to teach boys about manners and being kind and empathic.
I once went to a Raising Healthy Boys conference and the advice there was to make sure there are good male role models in his life. If you want your son to read and improve his literacy, having his Dad read to him as well as you is important so they can see that reading is "boy work" as well.and also to give him chances for positive leadership when He's older, for example helping you with chores or mentoring younger kids in sport etc.

But either way you will have a gorgeous baby who depends on you. Congrats and enjoy him! X

Agree with others - very little difference.

Teach all babies/children to be good human beings and that's about it. Let them play with what they like, allow all their interests to develop, don't fuss about what they wear and they'll end up as rounded individuals.

I have one of each - boy came first. I had no clue about babies of either type! Both are now teens, and still treat them the same in respect of how to treat others, school etc. I make allowances for their age and their individual personalities but I don't think that has much to do with their sex.

8 ds's here!! Oldest is 27and still kisses and hugs me!!
Youngest is 4 and we have a 'cuddle' couch and chair - if I am ever sitting on either he smothers me! His idea!!

You will find yourself making trips to watch roads resurfaced so he can watch the diggers and tarmac being laid.

Ds was very physical, much more than Dd.

He walked at 9 months, by 10 months he was jumping off the windowsill.

Friends Ds (a few months old) would scream the place down if she walked into a shop.

No worries on hairdressers. Ds has hair down his back. He hates having it cut.

I have two boys and in all honesty apart from pointing the willy down when nappy changing, they are so different that I’m not sure I know what boy advice is because when they were babies I just responded to their individual needs.

With their hair I just get it cut when it starts to look a bit messy, or now they’re older when they ask. There are quite a few toddler boys round my way who have not had a haircut yet longish hair seems to be the trend for boys in that age group.

I've only got boys so I'm not experienced in raising a girl in order to compare.
I kept my boys safe, warm, fed, loved, educated and entertained.

Think my DH will be 'raising' him

Seriously? You're carrying a male baby, not an extraterrestrial. There are no arcane rules you need to be initiated into, even with haircuts.

I have both. No difference in how to bring them up, at least up to age 12.

My girl was an earlier walker than my boys. Differences are individual. My boys are as different from and as similar to one another as from my gifl. - that's just personality. Hair cuts are related to what length you/ they want their hair, not to testosterone.

Do everything the same with both your kids for the next decade and you'll be about right.

Oh one thing:

Do not believe the crap about boys being straightforward and girls being complicated.

That's what appears to be the case if you encourage girls to show their emotions, comfort them when they cry, encourage them to talk, and unintentionally or otherwise praise your boy for being brave, tough, not crying, being a doer not a talker, and men in his life don't cry or talk about feelings and it looks like a female trait. You don't end up with a straightforward teenager/ man, you end up with one who feels unable to express his inner turmoil, doubts and insecurity except during puberty perhaps physically, breaking things or being otherwise aggressive.

Boys aren't more straightforward than girls, don't socialise yours to think he can't talk about his worries and feelings, or he will keep them inside.

Before my ds (now 5) Was born, I was so used to being around my niece that I was worried about how to look after a boy. But then ds came along, we have a great relationship, he is my world. I bring him to the barber's when he needs a hair cut, I'm a football mom now whose car smells like mud and football boots and I couldn't be happier.
I'm now expecting another boy and tbh I'm so used to boys now I'd be afraid if I had a girl!

I take ds to the barber's when his hair is looking long, or when he asks to go, it's not rocket science. We just turn up and ask for a cut. To be honest personality wise he is part way between his two sisters. He probably reads far more than they did at his age. I think that the main real difference (other than biology) seems to be his affinity for computers, but then I loved programming as did dh so I guess the question is why his sisters don't.

I think the main thing is not to use too much gender stereotyping with either child and they will be the person they want to be.

Honestly I think boys are sweeter but could just be personality. My DS picks me flowers and lots of cuddles. DD was more independent. No real difference in raising them though.

Why are people shocked to find out they're having a boy when there's a 50% chance of having one?!

Do not believe the crap about boys being straightforward and girls being complicated.

That's what appears to be the case if you encourage girls to show their emotions, comfort them when they cry, encourage them to talk, and unintentionally or otherwise praise your boy for being brave, tough, not crying, being a doer not a talker, and men in his life don't cry or talk about feelings and it looks like a female trait. You don't end up with a straightforward teenager/ man, you end up with one who feels unable to express his inner turmoil, doubts and insecurity except during puberty perhaps physically, breaking things or being otherwise aggressive.

Excellent post, ginny.

Why are people shocked to find out they're having a boy when there's a 50% chance of having one?!

Indeed. This always gets me on the threads where people sniff about people finding out the baby's sex at a scan, and say 'Oh, giving birth isn't the same without a surprise!' when it's about as surprising as flipping a coin.

I don't have/won't be having a boy (unless they got it wrong at scans) but read this post the other day which made me laugh and opened my eyes! Especially the comments...

But that's not that surprising, is it, Melamine? Or that much a boy thing, though joky complaints about it in boys seem more common.

I remember at least two little girls from my son's pre-school/toddler group days who were prolific public masturbators. One used to make a beeline for a particular ride-on toy at the pre-schooler group, while the other preferred the arms of chairs, and I remember her mother resignedly saying, as she sat down with her cup of coffee in the village hall, 'Oh, X, for heaven's sake, leave your chuff alone for five minutes!'

I more meant the comments made me laugh, rather than being hugely surprising, though I have honestly never really spent much time around little children in general so never been exposed to (or told about) either sex fiddling with their bits! 😂

I tell you, Melamine, Freud wasn't wrong about the polymorphously perverse stage in small children. There is a lot of fiddling.

DS(9) DD(8)
Make sure willy is pointing in the right direction or you will forever be changing vests
I think it's based on individual child but my DS was always more 'clingy' and less confident than my DD and needed more reassurance but this could well be down to DD having her year older brother to watch and follow when she was a baby.

Never, ever excuse his behaviour with ‘boys will be boys’. That is very limiting. Expect more.

Listen to him, let him be emotional. Be physically affectionate. My 17 and 16 yo DSs hug and kiss me daily. On the top of my head now, but they do it. They are lovely to their girlfriends.

And don’t freak out if they gravitate towards the princess dresses in the dressing up box.