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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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4 replies

mothersandsons · 27/04/2019 20:11

Hi Ladies,

In need of advice...
We are expecting our second child. My previous pregnancy was rather complicated with pre-term birth of our LO at 32 weeks. He’s ok now.
I wish I could say this one has been better... diagnosed with SCH at 11 weeks and still on bed rest.

For our first one, we told the grandparents to be after the scan at 12 weeks. My parents, who wanted to keep face, were extremely keen on us and them telling other relatives. We were not but we were effectively forced into it. My in-laws, particularly MIL, wanted to and not only told all their relatives but also made our pregnancy all about her! Not unusual for her!!

This left us having to answer questions from a lot of people about how, why, where and when our LO was pre-term. Not really something we needed at an already stressful time!

So... this time we are keeping quiet for as long as we can. Quite tempted to have the kid and then people!

As I’m on bed rest, my poor husband is running around alone trying to keep our family together. This has made me wonder if we should tell my mother who lives close by, hoping she’d help. I should say that she’s a lady who loves her son more than her daughter and will ditch us at anytime for her son. This is happened so many times before, and she’s I guess what some might say unreliable.

So...
Do we tell the grandparents before the baby is born? If yes, when?
Or do we wait until after the birth?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Teddybear45 · 27/04/2019 22:06

Looks like you will need a lot of support from both sides, so I’d tell. If your mum is flakey then maybe tell your mil first and suffer through her narcissm if she’s willing to get stuck in.

mothersandsons · 28/04/2019 11:56

My MIL is not supportive at all. My husband would agree to that. When our LO was born she said things like his arms and legs would fall off, and gossiped about his low birth weight...

OP posts:
Passthecherrycoke · 28/04/2019 11:59

I would absolutely tell grandparents who can support in any way. I know they might not, but it’s got to be worth a try.

I really feel for you. What a terrible pregnancy and worry. Best of luck.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 28/04/2019 12:01

I wouldn't tell them. They just seem unreliable and hard work.

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