Fear of miscarriage - handhold, please?

[stitchwitch84]

Hi all,

After a miscarriage in Nov and a very early pregnancy loss in Feb, I am now 4 weeks pregnant again. Hurrah!

Except that I'm terrified! I'm worrying that at any minute AF will come along and it'll all be over again. I'm taking things day by day and afraid to get excited, and I'm afraid that every symptom is a sign of impending pregnancy loss.

Would anyone mind holding my hand through the next couple of weeks, please?!

Last time (both times) I had dreadful nausea from the get go, plus sensitivity to smell. This time round I'm not nauseous at all (yet) but I am completely exhausted - as in, falling asleep almost as soon as I sit down on a comfortable chair (or lean against DH) sort of exhausted. I know it's normal, but…is it normal?!

I've got funny feelings and sensations in my belly. I keep telling myself it's the whole ligaments stretching thing (Though why they need to stretch when the baby is a few cells big is rather puzzling to me!). But what if it isn't? Is it normal??

And I have an upset tummy. I get these at times of stress, so it isn't surprising, but…

Sorry, I'm an absolute wittering wreck atm. DH and I want this baby so badly, and I'm so frightened about losing another pregnancy…really I need to make like a pair of curtains and pull myself together!

TIA xx

@AstroKate what a lovely doggo! He looks very happy

I'm in my greenhouse, distracting myself with my lovely happy seedlings. It is hammering down a tonne of rain on the roof just at this moment! DH has gone to make me a cuppa but I hope he waits till it's less heavy rain before bringing it down the garden!

Lovely dog @AstroKate and hope everyone has had a nice day. Sorry to hear about your scare @tinatsarina

I have just started with a stitch like pain in my left side, above and round a little from my hip. So obviously I am now panicking 😔

Yea more red now but no pain just keeping an eye on it to see but this was how my last miscarriage started only some bleeding then got heavier and more painful over the week. I hope its just irritation.

@tinatsarina I was reassured by a few midwives when I bled last time that a number of women have bleeds in their pregnancies that amount to nothing. I know that wasn't the case for me but what they said was true-try not to worry! Easier said than done I know.

I'm also having twinges and slight stitch like pain but my mum friends have all reassured me it's perfectly normal.

I'm out this evening for a works do so going to try and enjoy it and not overthink everything! I'll probably manage that for all of 5 mins 🤣

Hi ladies hope you don't mind me joining you all as I could really do with some handholding right now and its in a way reassuring to see I am not the only one feeling this way.

I am currently 4+5 weeks we had an early miscarriage in 2017 at 5+3 weeks and I am so worried about it all happening again. We have been trying for 4 years overall and started to question whether it would happen again for us.

I have been having a dull ache and odd cramping at the bottom of my stomach for a couple of days and keep thinking this is the beginning of it all again. We are trying to keep the frame of mind that everything happens for a reason and trying to keep positive. We have decided to not tell family at the moment as we dont want them to have to go through all the emotions.

I think tonight I am overthinking things as I am on my own as my partner is out I know it sounds silly but sure you can all see where I am coming from.

Hi @Aims4488 no advice (also afraid here!) but loads of love to you. It must be horrible having the fear and being alone! Lots of sticky baby dust your way xx

Can I join please? I think I have PTSD following my MC last year. I didn’t know I was pregnant when it was happening so I literally thought I was dying from the amount of blood I was losing. I’m taking each day at a time- get good days and bad days but anxiety is always there. Comforting to know I’m not alone 🌸

Sending lots of love to all you ladies on here and from what I have read think we are all going to be able to support each other well.

How is everyone feeling today?

Also are any of you having early scans done? I cant have one on the NHS but debating going private

Hi ladies,
Sorry to hear of all of your losses. It’s so tough.
I hope you don’t mind me jumping on. I’m 4 +1 today. I had a mc in jan at 7 weeks but I think baby had stopped growing a few weeks before that. I suppose I’ll never really know. But it was my lack of symptoms last time that really made me worry as I had pretty strong symptoms with my first baby and all went great with him. So when I had a lack of symptoms in Jan, I had a feeling there was something wrong and I was right. Anyway this time I’m super conscious of symptoms... almost yearning to be nauseous (can’t believe I’m saying that because I was so sick on my first, I was miserable!!!)
Have a scan booked when I’m just over 6 weeks. It can’t come quick enough 😫

@Aims4488 I will be having a scan at 7 weeks all being well. Are you?

@ducksandacorns I am still not sure really want to have one done but the only place near me that I can have it done on and evening or weekend it is £100 so just seeing if I can afford it just a bit wary about going during work hours as only in my 3rd week at my new job 🤦🏻‍♀️

Hi all

I am 7+5 and have found the last few weeks so stressful after a previous loss. I am 36 and this would be my first child, having ttc for over two years and suffered a loss in January 18.

But today I had an early scan and saw a tiny little baby with a heartbeat.
We are not out of the woods yet of course but definitely pregnant.

So there really is hope ❤️

@agteacht oh that is wonderful news, congratulations!

I'm pretty anxious today, my symptoms have disappeared. 4+1 so I know I've been early to have symptoms but I'm not liking the fact I feel fine today.

Thank you @ducksandacorns
I think symptoms do come and go a lot. But I know what you mean, it's reassuring to have some!!

I'm having quite a stressful time right now. I seem to have caught sth or to have eaten sth that disagrees with me. Bad diarrhoea. Last night I thought I was going to be sick, threw myself out of bed and then fainted on the way to the bathroom!

Called 111 who sent a team of paramedics, who checked me over, but the diarrhoea hadn't really started at that point so I opted to stay at home and make a GP appt after the weekend.

Now I'm v dehydrated (trying to drink but it's hard work) and I feel I probably ought to call 111 again, purely because I'm pregnant and therefore worried! Not sure if that's going to be useful though.

Argh!

Oh @stitchwitch84 I've just seen this!

How are you feeling now? Do you have a blood pressure monitor at home as sometimes fainting can be down to low blood pressure...which can be caused by dehydration (I am a transplant patient and often have low blood pressure which does make me faint)

Do try and sip something and perhaps get some rehydrate powder to go in it? When I've suffered like this I've frozen cubes of lucazade as found that easier to eat and digest than liquids.

I would keep an eye on the fainting and your temperature and if either of those aren't right then ring 111 again. They can then decide whether hospital is best

Hope you feel better soon x

I hope its okay for me to jump in too. Im 4 +3 and have recurrent MC's, actually just got my referral to the mc clinic last week! Every twinge is setting me off worrying, i expect to see blood everytime i go a wee. I cant relax and knowing im going to be like this for another 8 weeks is exhausting. Luckily i have my gp on side and she said if i get to 6 weeks, call her and shell sort me out a referral to the epu. Just so sad after all these losses we cant be excited and so different to when i was pregnant with my son . Xx

Hope you feel better @stitchwitch84

Sorry for not replying before now - and thanks for the kind best wishes!

I rang 111 this morning and was given an out of hours GP appt at the local hospital. I can't say enough for the NHS, they've all been wonderful and so reassuring! GP ran tests and confirmed that I'm not too dehydrated after all (for all that I am constantly gasping for a drink!) and has also confirmed that I'm still pregnant 😊❤️ Advice was to keep an eye on symptoms, make sure to take plenty of fluids and rehydration salts, and if I'm still this ill in 48 hrs to contact my own GP on Monday. Which I will have to do anyway, as I probably ought to get signed up for the midwife before too long!

I'm feeling awful (really bad tummy, worst I've ever had!) but weirdly positive and happy. I think I feel that, if baby can put up with all this, then we are definitely in a stronger position than last pregnancy! Though I have managed to lose 4lb in the last 24hrs so I am definitely keeping a close eye on that too!

I'm mostly sorry that I've spoiled the last two days of my husband's Easter holiday, but fingers crossed for a better tomorrow.

pregnancy following a loss is truly awful. I found myself panicking right up until my baby was born. Worrying all the time. I have had a few miscarriages mainly missed and ectopic. I do however have 4 lovely DC.

I truly hope that all on this thread that have suffered already go on to have their much wanted babies

@stitchwitch84 how are you feeling today?
Hope you've improved??

I'm trying to work out when I can earliest go to the early pregnancy unit for a scan. I reckon at 6 weeks so planning on going next week just for peace of mind! X

Doing a lot better thanks, @AstroKate. I went to the GP today to collect my midwife booking in form 😱 quite exciting and also daunting! I haven't filled it in or returned it yet…too angsty!

Hope everyone else is doing ok?

Hi ladies,

So sorry about all your losses and fingers crossed that this time you all end up with a little bundle of joy. If you don't mind, I'd like to join the hand-holding circle.

We have been trying for 6 years now - a few chemical pregnancies early on, then an IVF in 2017... which succeeded but baby's heart stopped beating. Nothing since. We were told we're not likely to have a child, and that getting pregnant naturally was impossible.

Fast forward April 2019, I'm late. Almost out of joke I do the test and there it is - my first BFP. I am 6w+4d today. My midwife appointment is in 2 days... the problem is - I am paralyzed with fear. I compare EVERYTHING to how it was and how I felt in 2017 looking for 'bad omens'. I was on keto diet before the pregnancy and took vitamins+extra VitD and I am convinced this made it happen as I was for the first time off my usual therapy (metformin) and lost weight. But now, I am terrified of carbs. I am also terrified of not eating any carbs for the fear of damaging the baby. I wake up nervous and sad, constantly feel like crying. I knew that our loss in 2017 was traumatic and I thought I processed it - but I never realized just HOW traumatic it was and how much more processing I should have done as I am completely paralyzed with fear at the moment. I am mostly terrified of the scan. I can remember that awful day and awful scan when doctor told me there was no heartbeat and all I can see in my head is that. Please help/advise how to deal with this. I know this much anxiety is bad for the baby I just can't find a way to put it under control.

Hi ladies

I'm a little bit worried as today I've had a creamy discharge throughout the day. The reason I'm worried as almost exactly to the day (5 wks 4 days) this is how my last miscarriage started. Creamy turning brown, then had scan which showed PUL and by the end of the week it was over and I was bleeding

I'm so worried and wondering how soon an EPU scan can take place? Is 5 weeks too early to see something? I'm wondering how quickly I can get reassurance!!