Unwanted induction of labor

[peacepaz]

I just gave birth four weeks ago. I wanted to have a midwife deliver my baby at home with my privacy and be very discreet. Unfortunately, my water broke and there was no progression of labor for 24 so I was induced in a hospital. It did not happen the way I anticipated and I didn't trust the doctor entirely because he was very cynical over my choice to go with a midwife and said once I signed the paperwork my choices stopped there medically. The pain of transition was so intense i was screaming and the staff did not want to check how far along I was. They told I had five to six more hours of that level of pain and I should strongly consider an epidural. I denied it and carried on screaming. Finally, I was checked and at completion. I never want to give birth again. Are these feelings normal? I look back on that day and instead of feeling joy run the events through my thoughts over and over.

Unfortunately you're getting a lot of U.K. based advice here. You need to find out what the procedures are in the US regarding going back through your birth.

I had one DC in the U.K. and one in a private healthcare system and the difference in how you're treated as a patient was astonishing. I'd have my NHS labour any day. In my second labour, I was extremely fortunate that I did have doctors and a midwife who tried to let me do it my way for as long as possible but it got to the point where I did have to accept the epidural and the relief in all of them was palpable. They were much happier 'being in control' and telling me what to do. This is what they're used to and the system is not set up for patient's opinions.

I'm not saying you weren't treated horrendously, you clearly were. However, they may feel that it was totally normal.

Hope you're enjoying your new baby.

@teaandbiscuitsforme I'm enjoying my daughter very much :) I think it's the differences in systems to a degree. Most teachers I work with informed me an unmedicated birth is impossible. A lot mentioning the second or third child, they call the hospital and say to have the epidural ready. Natural isn't really seen as an option, which is why I wanted to go through a midwife

An unmedicated birth isn't impossible in normal circumstances where you can get up, move around and do what you need to do. I know this because I have had two home births where I was encouraged to move around, eat, drink, go up and down the stairs, etc. I was also listened to which sadly seems unusual. In your circumstances it would be extremely difficult and yes, impossible, if they won't let you move around as that intensifies the pressure and squeezing feelings.

It actually sounds extremely cruel and barbaric to refuse to let a pregnant woman do what comes naturally to get her baby out if she doesn't want pain relief. Even WITH pain relief it sounds horrific, I would choose a C section over your experience any day.

If you do ever decide you would like another baby, I would look into a birth center. Based on my limited research I wouldn't have a home birth in the USA as they are more dangerous than other countries.

The light at the end of the tunnel is we're doing well :) @GummyGoddess it felt extremely barbaric going through it. I took classes on the positions, but they informed me this was the safest thing during an induction...

Having heard your 'voice' again, can I say, bloody well done you, showing them that women can give birth without an epidural, despite being induced.

The following is a quote from a WHO report on the state of the world's midwifery. While the report's focus is on developing countries, it is sadly, very true for many birth experiences in the US and the country that I work in (not UK).

'Health care providers need to speak a language that women and their families understand, show empathy, broach fears and beliefs with respect and adapt to cultural and individual beliefs if there is no
medical contra-indication. This includes considering women’s values, beliefs, and feelings and respecting their dignity and autonomy during the birthing process so as to humanize childbirth. A 2007 Cochrane review concluded that women who had continuous support in childbirth were likely to have a slightly shorter labour, were more likely
to have a spontaneous vaginal birth and less likely to report dissatisfaction with their childbirth experiences. In Latin America, several projects have recorded positive results in the reduction of
dissatisfaction both from women giving birth and providers, an increase in institutional deliveries and a reduction in maternal death. The main facilitators for these results include women’s own cultural values and beliefs in a natural birth as well as institutional strategies designed to prevent unnecessary medical interventions. It has long been recognized that women in particular are subject to poor quality of care in reproductive health services across the developing world. Negative attitudes from health care professionals, or community perceptions thereof, can discourage women from seeking care.78, 79 A recent analysis identifies disrespect and abuse in facility-based childbirth as a major barrier to the utilization of skilled care that can sometimes be much stronger than the commonly recognized geographical or financial barriers. Physical abuse, non-consented, non-confidential and non-dignified care, discrimination, abandonment and retention in facilities were all reported in the analysis.'

@JaneEyreAgain thank you for the encouragement :) You seem like an incredible doula. I wish I would've looked more into having one present. But, I wanted the least amount of people present possible at my birth. Instead, I felt like I had a baseball team present.

It does seem very like the model is that 'baby must be extracted from woman' single mindedness. Not to assist the woman actually giving birth.

@GummyGoddess I had an (NHS) induction in which I was supported to move about as I needed/wanted, and therefore needed no pain relief, and wasn't examined as the MW could tell I was transitioning and ready to push. I was lucky both in how I laboured but mostly in how I was supported. It was a great birth experience.
OP, the US clearly does not trust women and our bodies, in so so many ways. It's not somewhere I would choose to give birth, and I really admire you for doing your best to get the birth you wanted. You CAN complain (heck, sue 'em for traumatising you...). And as you know from your MW there ARE people campaigning for better births there.
Congratulations on your gorgeous baby!!

I meant the USA model, though I have heard some horrific things from here as well.

You can still look for help to reclaim your birth. Post birth debriefing is something that can be very useful.

The midwife you already have contact with may well be able to help with this. If not, a Doula might be able to help.

I thought you were in the US. Next time just get a c-section. It’s a much less stressful and a much more personal and nicer birthing experience in the states.

@Teddybear45 C-sections make breast feeding difficult and require loads more time to require. I feel like I bounced back quickly considering the ordeal.

Plus you shouldn't have to accept unnecessary medical intervention because medical professionals are incapable of accepting that you have autonomy over your body.

I can just adopt the second time around.

@GummyGoddess it is a single minded approach because the doctor asked how I was doing and I inquired if it was uncommon to deny an epidural during an induced labor. He quickly told me you have the baby focus on that now. My point was they nearly gave me an epidural at the tail end of transition and made me think I had 5-6 hours at that level of intensity.

The cynic in me makes me think that they wanted you to have an epidural to make it easier for them, hence implying you had hours left to go. Must be easier to deliver a baby where the woman can't feel anything and you can put her in the easiest position for you to see what you're doing. Fine if the woman wants one, but seems rather unethical if it's to make the medical professionals job easier.

@GummyGoddess I think the same thing honestly. But, here they commonly don't grant room for other birthing positions unless it's at a birthing center or a home birth. Another woman said the same thing she had fifteen minutes with an epidural before she started the pushing phase. She said her body didn't push efficiently and she winded up having a c-section. In another case, they told my husband's sister her baby was going to be very large making labor difficult. She ended up with a csection and the baby was about 7 pounds

I'm probably going to get bashed for this but I think you need to change how you view this. You are healthy, your baby is healthy and you will recover from the birth. You are focussing on all the negative things having built up an image your perfect birth and not getting it.

Child birth very very rarly follows the plan.

I wanted a natural birth but ended up in a very dangerous emergency c section. I've had CBT to help me change my view of the experience.

I'm not going to bash you of course not but I will say women really need to stop feeling grateful despite traumatic experiences just because them and their baby are okay - that's the bare minimum a woman should expect from her labour. Women should not have to ignore poor practice, patronising medical professionals and trauma that could have avoided had someone actually stopped and thought about what they were doing, that OP was a scared woman in pain and needing clear information, guidance and a kind but firm attitude.

If my patients have a successful surgery, it doesn't give me and the doctors permission to treat people like shit, go against their wishes etc and patient just has to be grateful for a successful outcome, yet we seem to expect it of women with childbirth. For them to just forget, get over it and accept it as par of the course. Women are often treated like cattle during the labor process and it needs to stop.

Most people know and accept that birth is an unpredictable event and things change, we need to be flexible about our expectations but that doesn't mean our autonomy and control shouldn't be maintained as much as possible.

@Ratbagratty I'm willing to accept it didn't go as planned. But, I don't see why I had to be condescended during the process either.

If I wasn't flexible I would have stayed home and let nature run its course , but I realized my plans weren't going as planned. My baby came before my own desires and selfishness. The doctor knew that, when I said I want the safest route possible. The safest route was to not have a home birth. I accepted that.

Bring treated badly isn't on, but as it's a stressful time you may have heard things differently to how they were being said, a bit like being sleep deprived and snapping at anything that's said.

If you really want to take it further then find out how to make a complaint, but think carefully if you really want that additional stress.

@Ratbagratty I personally don't like to complain, so I won't say anything. But, I truly hope other women don't undergo the same condescending, your body is under my control type of attitude. But, I don't think it helps they place those doctors on 24 hour shifts. When he said I'm here all day, I took it as a joke...he was quick to correct it was literal.

:)