Not feeling connected :(

[willitbeokay]

So iv name changed so this isn't linked to my normal username.

This is my second baby, with my first DC I felt connected to the baby straight away, I knew I was pregnant and was SO excited for DC to come!

This time I am 13 weeks, Iv had my scan and even have a doppler so listen to the baby every few days but even though I know I am pregnant, it just feels so different ! I don't feel like there is anything in there I am excited for the baby obviously because it was planned but I feel like I am not going to believe its real or feel connected till I'm giving birth !!

Hopefully once we find out the sex in a few weeks and get a 3D scan I might start believing it! Maybe in the back of my head I am worrying about stuff and don't realise?

Anyone else gone through something similar!?

I have felt quite similar, this is my second DC and it’s not that I don’t feel connected it’s just that I don’t think it’s as much of a novelty as having my first DC. When I think about being pregnant with my first I think of when he used to kick and I could feel movements etc, I’m 12 weeks at the moment so of course not feeling anything. I think that makes it hard to sink in that you’re pregnant, especially if you don’t look or feel it.

I’ve worried about things like bake DC1 will cope, how I will cope, etc, and these worries can mask a lot of excitement I think. They won’t be forever though, things will sink in soon enough!

Good luck!

Yes definitely! In fact I think I posted a similar post myself around the same time.

Currently 38 weeks pregnant with DS2 and I can assure you I feel much more connected and can't wait to meet him (though I will say I'm in less of a rush for him to arrive as I'm busy with a 2.5 year old!).

It's definitely a different feeling being pregnant with the second. With the first all I thought about night and day was being pregnant/baby stuff but I can easily go the day without thinking of this baby as DS keeps me so busy.

I think it took until I was well into my second trimester to really feel a proper connection.

I’m 18w with my first so following for interest. Hoping things will change when I feel movement

Same here I think with the first I was looking at everything with Rose tinted excitement looking forward to all the good bits. Second time round I knew what I was in for and how hard it can be but it was fine I cant even remember now when it started to change but it did, I even got the rush of love with ds2 I expected but didn't get with ds2.

I put a very similar post on last week! Our circumstances are different but feeling the same ! I’m 18 weeks tomorrow with my first. I had a mmc 5 months prior to falling pregnant this time and it’s taken every bit of excitement out of it for me. I have seen baby twice on scans and I’m always on a high after and then the numb, disconnected feeling comes back - I think it’s anxiety blocking it out. I think I’m too scared to become too attached because I’m constantly feeling like it’s all too good to be true! I don’t look bumpy yet & had no movements so it’s so difficult ! My 20 week scan is a week Monday so I’m hoping once we find out the sex and see how baby has changed since 12 weeks it will start to feel more real especially approaching the half way point. A lot of women feel this way for all different reasons! Please don’t think your not normal ❤️ Everything will be okay xxxx

I am so glad I found this thread. I am 15 weeks with an unplanned second and getting married in two weeks. I'm feeling so crap, spent last two or three months feeling horrendous and now feeling much better but so fat and unsightly and awful about how I'm going to look in my dress. Totally selfish I know.
We both work, DP works away from home all week, and we have a 2.5 yo and just bought a house that needs done up. I just feel we don't even talk about me being pregnant, I don't feel like I am. I just feel fat and knackered. I want to be excited but when I feel a bit excited I just feel panic!
So glad to find some people who understand because not one person ever asks how I'm feeling.
Glad to hear it will get better. And to PP who had a late loss, I'm very sorry for you and your baby. But congratulations on your new pregnancy xx

I felt strangely dissociated until i had both babies but it was fine once they arrived. I didn’t enjoy being pregnant much and the second pregnancy flew by - we were both much more exhausted by the time the second arrived and dh was late for both scans the second time!