Early announcement due to wedding!? please help...

[peaky297]

I am currently 8 weeks pregnant and get married at the beginning of May, when I will be 10 weeks. My o/h and I cannot decide what to do for the best in terms of telling people. We have already told immediate family and couple of very close trusted friends, but that is all.
The concern is that up until I found out I was pregnant I was a smoker and I have never been one to shy away from the prosecco at a party! We don’t want people to guess / find out at the wedding and I don’t want to spend my wedding day worrying about covering it up either. If people are going to find out then we of course want it to be on our terms. Further to this, our honeymoon was booked for Mexico and this is public knowledge. We have now cancelled this and booked one in Europe instead due to the Zika virus being pregnant in Mexico, which would be another thing for us to try and hide.
We have a private early reassurance scan booked for this week and I have read that so long as there is a healthy heartbeat at this point then the odds of miscarriage are (whilst not as low as they are at 12 weeks) greatly reduced. So, we are thinking of telling people ahead of the wedding if all is okay with the scan so there will be no worrying about pretending to drink, dodging questions or not being able to pop off for a rest on the day (pregxaustion!). I just wondered what peoples thoughts are on this please? Thanks.

@peaky297 it 100% depends on you, people lose there baby after 12 weeks so I personally don't see what all the fuss is about when it come to telling people early And if you are going to have a scan and share your news with that, then why not 😁 xx

If everything is ok I'd do that x

I think an early scan and announcing early is fine.

Also you can get non alcoholic sparkling wine and since you’re the bride you can just ask that you’re just topped up with what it is you want to drink and no one will surely notice. Being a guest would be harder because you’d have to decline with wine at the table etc.

You could just get the venue to put non alcoholic wine/fizz on your table? I've been to loads of weddings and I can't say I've ever remotely noticed what the bride is drinking! Also if you're getting married at 10 weeks and going on honeymoon soon after then you will be not far off your dating scan when you get back so as long as you don't post Facebook pictures or give honeymoon updates until you're back no one will know where you are? Of course its absolutely up to you if you want to tell people early, a lot of our friends knew at 8 weeks after we had an emergency early scan which thankfully showed a heartbeat, but they were people we would have told if anything had gone wrong too.

My friend was pregnant at her wedding and none of us had any idea. She’d asked the staff to keep her drink topped up with appletiser so no one noticed she wasn’t drinking champagne. She wasn’t a smoker though so not sure how you’d get away with that but I’m sure you can come up with something if you’d rather no one knew yet

Regarding the smoking thing, if you've not smoked this pregnancy then you have already had a month of not smoking so people may have already noticed--you could always say you gave up a while ago so your teeth were whiter for your wedding pictures 😁

Agree with HJWT, nothing in life is guaranteed so I'd tell or get DH to slip it into his speech - can we all raise a glass of champagne to my beautiful bride, except she's on appetiser so the baby doesn't get drunk at their first wedding. To PEAKY!

I like a drink, but found on my wedding day I hardly drank anything. I was too hungry before the food came, then too busy chatting to people and I probably also didn't want to be falling about the place by the end of the night! I don't think it would be too noticeable to be honest.

I wasn’t pregnant at my wedding and didn’t drink (trying to conceive) but no one noticed or asked anything. I was on sparking appetiser and other non alcoholic stuff, barman just replaced my drinks without comment and if anyone ordered me a drink he switched it for me.

Congratulations

Congratulations x2!

Late last year I had a good 8 week scan. At 12 weeks we discovered the baby had abnormalities. There followed weeks of tests and my pregnancy ended at 18 weeks (I was having a termination for medical reasons but it seems my son passed away just before due to these medical.problems). It was the hardest thing I've ever been through.

Though we've told a fair number of people what happened, it would have been harder to have announced happy news then retract it. I don't in any way want to pour cold water on your lovely news, most likely everything will be fine, but having been in the unlucky other group I'd urge you to be a little cautious. Agree with what others say about no-one caring too much about what the bride is drinking, Appeltise or alcohol free wine should be fine.

You could just say you decided not to drink so you can remember every moment of your day?

Love the speech idea!!

I would tell, if everything at the scan was looking good.

As others have said, if you decide to keep it a secret you can easily get anyway with “Nosecco” and appletiser. Make sure all the staff are aware and can keep it discreet. If anyone orders you a drink ask for a “gin & tonic” and ask the bar staff to make you a soda & fresh lime in a gin glass

Sylvanian I'm really sorry for the loss of your son

The issue with waiting and when is that there isn't a time when you are risk free. You can try and hide it until 20 week scans but not everything shows. Or until you get your risks for the trisomies. But we had perfect scans all through, low risk everything then late prem EMCS and a baby who we very very nearly lost on multiple occasions. We could have not told people until 30+ weeks and we still might have had tragic news a month later.
If you want to tell people, tell them. If you want to just say yes to people who ask or if you want to hide it, whatever makes you happy.

I felt more superstitious about lying about early pregnancy than I ever did about telling

This could have been written by me. I got married on 30/03/19, heavy smoker and would have been expected to drink at our wedding. I found out i was pregnant on the 19/03 so immediately stopped smoking/drinking. We shared our news with parents and best man/MOH and then the best man alluded to it in his speech before DH announced it in his. It was amazing to share it with everyone and made our wedding day even better than it would have been. I totally get the whole waiting until 12 weeks but we were both so excited we couldn't keep it in. Congratulations on your wedding day and your baby news it's the most magical time

Every wedding I have been to, including my own, the bride has drunk very little or not at all. It's such a big day filled with emotions, most brides want to take it all in and enjoy it without being drunk. So if you wanted to wait to tell everyone, you could absolutely use that as an excuse without anyone batting an eyelid!
Congrats on the baby and the wedding!

Thanks @sleepingstandingup

I think you make a good point. On reflection, there's a lot to be said for just enjoying the happy news if that feels right, OP.

I had some prosecco before the meal and for speeches at my own wedding and nothing after that. Don't think anyone noticed! I wasn't pregnant just couldn't bear a hangover the next day!

Do you have to tell people or announce it? Does it matter if they are left a bit curious? They'll find out soon enough won't they?

I was 11 weeks when we got married, hubby told everyone in his speech.... he had to give a reason as to why I was an hour late and running off every 10 mins vomiting 😂😂

Go for it! Our photographer was even crying and said it was the best speech she's ever heard 😍

Congratulations and good luck for the big day xx