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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Parental Leave

20 replies

NicciLovesSundays · 15/04/2019 08:46

Hi All
Just wondering if your partner will be taking any paternity leave / parental leave after your baby is born or in the first year? When do you think is the best time?

For those who have children already, did your partner take leave? Did the reality match your expectations? Would you do anything differently?

Nicci

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PhoebeBear · 15/04/2019 08:52

Hi @NicciLovesSundays
We're due our first August 8th and my partner only gets the 2 weeks parental leave so he's thinking of taking it with some holidays he's saved up. Wether or not I have the baby late or early will depend on when he starts.. obviously he doesn't want to miss out on baby being born and stuff but it's a tricky one to figure out when baby will be arriving..
apparently parental leave pay is quite bad so that's why he's taking his holidays with it too. So overall his PL starts 8th August and then he'll have 3 weeks of holiday starting after those 2 weeks PL x

NannyPear · 15/04/2019 08:59

DH took the 2 weeks paternity leave and an additional 1 week holiday allowance with DS. He'll be doing the same with DC2 when he arrives. The statutory paternity pay is, like SMP, poor so we did discuss using his holidays for the whole time off but decided to take it and keep the holidays for family time later in the year. We didn't share any of my maternity leave and we were both happy with the arrangement.

TerriB1984 · 15/04/2019 11:29

My DH took the 2 weeks paternity leave starting the day DD was born. He was only entitled to statutory paternity pay which as others have said is pretty crap. We just took the financial hit and luckily we’re in a position that we could afford to. However I could not have managed those first 2 weeks without him and I think it was important for him to have that bonding time too. Currently pregnant with #2 and will be doing the same again.

Original poster

NicciLovesSundays · 15/04/2019 11:58

My husbands employer allows for 1 week paternity at full pay and 1 week at statutory pay. After that parents are entitled to take up to 18 weeks unpaid leave per child (maximum of 4 weeks per year) up to their childs 18th birthday so in theory hubby could take 2 weeks paternity and 4 weeks unpaid parental leave. He doesnt have any other entitlement to shared parental leave as Im not in work.

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Megan2018 · 15/04/2019 11:59

DH taking 2 weeks paternity and 2 weeks leave when our baby is born as I am likely to have section so will need help.

dementedpixie · 15/04/2019 12:01

Dh took 2 weeks paternity leave and 2 weeks annual leave

Tobebythesea · 15/04/2019 13:05

My DH gets 6 months full pay but will probably only take 1 month and not all at once due to the nature of his work.

AssassinatedBeauty · 15/04/2019 13:14

For Ds2 my DP took 3 weeks of paternity's leave and annual holiday. A few weeks later he took a month's sabbatical which he had become entitled to from his work. This was when my DS1 started school in reception, so he was around for that as well as with DS2. So about 7 or 8 weeks altogether. He took around 4 weeks off with DS1.

We didn't consider using the unpaid parental leave, as affording it would be difficult. If it was less of an issue financially then we would have considered it.

Melamine · 15/04/2019 13:28

Mine's taking 2 months off when I go back to work (I'm only taking 4 months off myself) and this will be paid at Maternity Allowance level, so £148 per week as I am handing my allowance to him. It will be tight but fine for 2 months. He went for a job somewhere last year that would have paid him 24 weeks full pay and 26 weeks half pay, he didn't get it unfortunately but if he had I wouldn't have bothered even claiming MA as we'd have been so much better off on his deal! At least he is allowed to take it (and wants to) at his current job.

Original poster

NicciLovesSundays · 17/04/2019 09:52

Thats a great offer. Its good to see more companies offering this but sadly just doesn't go far enough.

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agteacht · 17/04/2019 21:41

Unfortunately my husband is self employed so no allowance at all. I find it a bit unfair as he pays tax and NI so I would have thought self employed people who contribute should be entitled to statutory paternity / maternity pay. Or if I could transfer some of mine to him that might also work, but I can't. Oh well...

Original poster

NicciLovesSundays · 18/04/2019 15:41

The system fails so many @agteacht. My husband is in a similar position, he isnt self employed but because I dont work at the moment he doesn't qualify for the shared parental leave, it means if he wanted to take anything more than the 2 weeks paternity we would have zero income for the duration and that would be very difficult to manage.

If it was reversed and I was in work and he wasn't then I would be entitled to statutory maternity pay. Parents deserve much more support and (in my view) giving both parents a level playing field at this stage would go a long way towards gender equality in the workplace overall.

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thismeansnothing · 18/04/2019 15:49

I had DD2 8 weeks ago.

DH took 2 weeks paternity, 2 weeks annual leave he'd banked up and a couple of flexi days so had 4.5 weeks off.

Otherwise he'll just be off bank holidays and when he wants to use his annual leave. Works well for us

TokenGinger · 18/04/2019 15:59

My DP gets four weeks paid paternity leave. He can split this up over a year. His intention is to take two weeks off, then have a Friday off every week for 10 weeks.

Sprintfinish · 18/04/2019 16:41

My DP had his 2 weeks paternity leave, 2 weeks annual leave and then had 4 weeks of my leave all at the start. It was great having him with us for the first 8 weeks especially as I had an emcs.

NowWeAreSuckingDiesel · 18/04/2019 16:43

Me and my husband had the first 3 months off together with shared parental leave and I had a further 8 months after that.

Original poster

NicciLovesSundays · 18/04/2019 16:53

@NowWeAreSuckingDiesel
Having done it do you think that was the best time to share your leave? Have heard of some couples doing it later, eg when one parent returns to work the other takes the time off, or both sharing time together when the child is a little older...

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NowWeAreSuckingDiesel · 18/04/2019 16:58

Yes, absolutely. The first 3 months meant I had support physically and emotionally and I just needed to concentrate on recovering from the birth and establishing breastfeeding. My other half did all the cooking, cleaning, nappies, night wakings without feeds. He also works shifts so it meant that he wasn't on nights for the first few months which would have been tough to manage with a newborn I think.

I'm pregnant again and we are planning to do the same again.

AssassinatedBeauty · 18/04/2019 17:01

How did you organise a further 8 months off, after using 6 months of shares parental leave? Was it via accruing annual leave?

NowWeAreSuckingDiesel · 18/04/2019 17:41

Well, my husband had 12 weeks off in total and 2 weeks was paternity leave (1 full pay, 1 stat) and then 8 weeks was SPP and 2 weeks was Annual Leave. So I had 42 weeks leave (31 weeks pay) to use plus I used 4 weeks Annual Leave myself to reduce my nil pay period.

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