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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Giving birth alone

8 replies

Goodenough06 · 14/04/2019 15:54

Just wondered if anyone had any experience of going through labour in a hospital without any family or friends present.

For a bit of context, my husband is in the military and won't be able to be there. (Something we knew was a possibility from the outset and although sad about It, I have come to terms with).
I need my mum to look after my 2 year old, aside from the fact that she has already said she doesn't feel up to coming to hospital with me and it will be too stressful for her.
A couple of lovely friends have offered to be there. I do really appreciate them having asked but they also have their own children / commitments and I'm kind of thinking it might be better to have them to call on if I need something AFTER the labour. For e.g. if I need something quickly from mothercare (Or just a massive bar of chocolate).

My first labour was relatively "easy" in the sense that I didn't need any medical intervention, apart from needing an antibiotic IV for strep B infection. This is something which I will also need for my second labour which rules out a home birth or giving birth in a midwife run unit.
First labour was also quite quick with only 5 hours active labour.

I'm a fairly independent person and feel like I am strong enough to do this alone, but my health visitor and midwife have both said ideally I should try and have someone else there.
Has anyone else done it alone? If so, how did you feel? Any regrets? Also, logistically how did you get to the hospital?
Thanks in advance.

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Goodenough06 · 14/04/2019 19:10

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DeadDoorpost · 14/04/2019 19:15

Not done it myself, but could you not have a friend drive you and go with you, even if that means you leave them waiting for you? That way, if you change your mind they can come in? Its nice youve had friends to offer though. Dont think any of mine would have (and tbh i dont think I'd have wanted them there)

MrsL2016 · 14/04/2019 19:23

Have you considered a doula service? We have a volunteer led service in my area so not expensive. Although I am sure you would be fine on your own too.

SonEtLumiere · 14/04/2019 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PanamaPattie · 14/04/2019 19:31

I suspect that the MW and HV want you to have someone with you to get help if you need it. Staff shortages will probably mean you are completely on your own and that might not be safe for you and your baby.

Goodenough06 · 14/04/2019 19:54

I have looked into a doula, unfortunately it's not something we can afford at the moment.
I would consider asking a friend to drive me to the hospital, it's not far- about 15 mins from my house. I'm just worried if I have to ring someone at 3am, (the time I went to hospital with my first) they'd have to get up and find someone to look after their children. Also potentially asking them to take time off work last minute makes me feel guilty.

Argh it's so frustrating. If I could guarantee a labour as straightforward and quick as the last one I wouldn't worry about this at all.

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LittleMissHappy19 · 14/04/2019 20:03

Aww gosh, no helpful advice..I just wish I knew you! If my phone rang at 3am, with the news my friend was about to give birth, I would be there in heartbeat! Such a magical time ❤

Goodenough06 · 14/04/2019 20:23

Thank you! That's really kind. I do feel so bad for my husband that he's going to be missing out.
It is such a lovely time.

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