Finding it quite hard...

[liviadrusilla]

I'm about 9 weeks pregnant with my first baby. I'm very happy, though nervous, about having a baby, but I'm feeling generally down about pregnancy, and then very guilty for not appreciating being pregnant when I know so many women would love to be and I'm also worried about if anything goes wrong. I had quite bad sickness, so I'm now on anti sickness medication, and I'm keeping more things down (with daily retching and still some vomiting) but just feel generally grotty, tired and lots of twinges. I'm off work for Easter and am either in bed or on the sofa and not up to much else. I have not felt 'normal' for about a month now and it's getting me down. Does anyone else feel the same? I'm hoping I'll feel better when I've had the 12 week scan and it feels a bit more real.

You will feel better. I felt awful for the first trimester (and a bit) and hated every second. Was unable to remember my initial excitement. But then the second and third trimester I felt absolutely fine and in fact loved the rest of pregnancy. Hopefully you will be the same.
I know it feels like a long time while you are in the midst of it. Hang on, you will get excited again x

Oh and as you’re off for Easter do not for a moment feel bad about spending the time in bed or on the sofa. Please.

I really appreciate your reply, thank you. I'm really hoping it feels better soon. A few of my friends have been pregnant recently, and none of them seem to have had morning sickness etc and I think I'm feeling quite lonely and almost abnormal to not be just totally overjoyed and blooming. Also terrified of problems at the scan and, down the line, birth, but I think that's more normal!

I was quite miserable in my first 14 weeks; I was over the moon I was pregnant but the nausea and tiredness did make me miserable and I started feeling like I’d never feel better. It did start lifting at 12 weeks tho and went by 14ish weeks.
I read the unmumsy mum during that time and it made me feel a lot better about how I felt as I felt quite guilty for feeling that way

Yes the anxiety about scans and birth is very normal! Please just wallow at the moment that’s all you have to do. Eat what you fancy and watch some crap on tv. Let your body get on with making the baby and then later when you feel better you can glow and feel magical

I could have written your exact post, except I’m 8 weeks. I feel like this phase will never end. It has affected me mentally and physically. I can’t wait until bedtime so that’s another day over with. I didn’t have this my DS so has been a bit of a shock to be feeling like this. You are not alone. Xx

This was me exactly and I felt so guilty for laying on the couch. I would come home from work and go to sleep immediately until 8pm. Wake up for half an hour and go back to bed.
I was also extremely sick and on medication. I got married and went on honeymoon at 8 weeks and thought I'd never get through it!
It does pass. Give yourself a break and listen to your body. If you need to rest, rest!
I'm now 30 weeks and even though my first trimester (+ a few weeks ) was hell, I have sailed through since then!

Same , blessed to be privileged to have my little baby but I hated life for the first 4 months daily tasks were a struggle felt sick and exhausted and was sick at any time of the day .. horrid ... I managed to keep up
With work ... I would go to the shops to buy food retch the whole way round ( especially where the meat was ) and leave with the most randomn items ... husband lived in takeaways most of the time.

But after 4 month mark the sickness did go, and although the exhaustion never left I felt I could cope because it was just one symptom and not having other children I would eat work sleep and nothing else ... it’s worth it but only now I have my baby he is safe and healthy

Still not sure I would do it again ... but I am so so lucky to have him I know that. But it would be especially hard adding a child to look after and those symptoms x

hope you feel better soon and the scan does help .. the first scan gave the best image of our bubba and I knew it was a little boy ( cause the features where just like his dad ) and he is a carbon copy of his dad it’s crazy how so early I could tell what my baby would look like x

I found the first trimester utterly miserable. This might sound dramatic but I look back on it as a really dark time for so many reasons:

• I felt absolutely dreadful - the sickness, the exhaustion, etc.
• I didn’t want to tell anyone (particularly at work) why I felt absolutely dreadful, and colleagues took offence at me missing parties, not working the hours I used to etc.
• I felt so lonely with no one to talk to about it except my DH.
• I felt so anxious because although nothing is guaranteed at any stage of pregnancy, it’s particularly precarious in the first trimester. In particular I was terrified of eating or drinking something that would hurt the baby.
• I had nothing but that pregnancy test - no scans etc - so it didn’t really feel real.

I had such weirdly mixed feelings about the pregnancy during that time, even though I really wanted to be pregnant!

All pregnancies are different but things really looked up for me from about week 14 onwards. The nausea lifted, we had a positive first scan, we told people - it improved so much.

I really hope you feel better soon.

I felt exactly the same and then at 14 weeks the sickness/exhaustion/headaches cleared and it was a revelation and now I'm so happy and have energy!! (I'm 19 weeks).
Just try to persevere and know it's not forever xx

Don't feel guilty!! Everyone has these thoughts, I'm 23 weeks now and genuinely thought I was dying in the first trimester with how sick I was, keep on the medication and if anyone says anything about it tell them to fuck off!
It will get better but it's a matter of time, like I'm celebrating one week today of no vomiting!
Enjoy your rest you need it!💕

Thank you all so much, although I'm not pleased other people felt like this I'm so relieved it's not just me! I don't know how women do this more than once!

I was the same! Really miserable- so tired and nausea and really deflated because I naively hadn’t expected to feel so shit- I thought I’d have a bit of sickness and then at 12 weeks feel wonderful haha!!! So silly. I’m 20 weeks now and can honestly say I didn’t feel like myself for the first 14, just felt like an empty shell that only wanted to each chocolate and lie down. It does pass lovely, just hang on in there and cut yourself some slack- you’re growing a bloomin’ human!!!!!! Xx

It's ok to want to be pregnant & hate being pregnant at the same time. Not enjoying what pregnancy does to your body does not mean you love your baby any less.

A friendly wave from the other side - I have been so sick, tired, down in the dumps, lonely, and now I've hit 13 weeks and I'm a new woman!
Hang in there, the first trimester can be brutal and such a shock when pregnancy is usually portrayed as a magical wonderful time with 'glowing' and other nonsense.

Don't feel guilty for a moment, you don't have the energy for that. Take every opportunity to rest and look after yourself x

Ah man I could have written this too! I'm nearly 17 weeks and feel as sick and as exhausted as I have all the way through. Getting very bored of feeling so rough, it's been a long time and feels longer! The doctor gave me tablets so I'm not being sick but the nausea is constant. I was told it would ease off between 16 and 20 weeks so I'm clinging to that cos I can't feel like this till September 😣 So sorry, no advice to offer but I'm here in solidarity!! I'll keep my fingers crossed you start to feel better and bloom soon 🌸

I'm 9 weeks and feel exactly the same! To the point I have just sat and cried from feeling so horrible. My anxiety is at an all time high and I have only left my bed/house for drs appts. I have been signed off work. It's horrible. I'm clinging on for each new day so that I am closer to the end of the first trimester.
As much as it isn't nice that anyone suffers, its good to know that we are not alone in this. As it feels so incredibly isolating!!

You will feel better @liviadrusilla trust me!
I remember the first 13 weeks I felt like s**t! I would nap whenever I got home from work, cry (a lot!) crampy and have that constant sickness feeling !
I'm now 24 weeks and feel completely fine..
I heard it's the first and third trimesters that are quite difficult to get by, apparently by the third you get very tired again and struggle with everything. But that's all to come!

Hello all! I’m the same, 10 weeks and yesterday I was dry heaving and dizzy so shuffled around the house. I naively thought 3rd trimester would be the tricky one but this has knocked me! Let’s hope it passes soon for us all!