31 weeks pregnant with 2nd child expartner father of the 2 left me in my first trimester.
He went away seeking other woman’s attention and having sexual intercourse I know about 5 woman and there will be more.
I feel so down hurt just completely broken like I’ve hit rock bottom. Everytime I see him I get myself all dressed make up done hair done etc because I feel so insecure unwanted and just ugly. I was with a friend who I’ve recently started talking to from school she also had a kid the same age as mine so we have beecome close and my ex partner doesn’t know that we often meet up she shows me the messages of him chatting to her saying she’s stunning wanting to meet her and take her a drive and I feel like shit sat home feeling the way I do looking after our first born.
He says I’ve hurt him because all we done was argue he’s cancelled mortgage payments (house is in joint names) so I’m now having to rent a room out so I can get help to pay the mortgage as he’s thrown it all away.
I feel as if I’m not enjoying this pregnancy I feel guilty with the stress this baby must feel off me. I try and be strong some days I just want to lie in bed and just fast forward the time so I can have out baby in our arms. I just feel so trapped.
I stupidly have started to sleep with him again (protection used) I just want to feel wanted sounds so stupid. He doesn’t want to be with me he’s stated that I just feel like am hanging on. He says he would be bothered if I was to sleep with someone else once the baby is born etc I Jist want him to feel hurt whenever I decided to.
I don’t know if it’s a controlling thing he knows he’s got me where he wants me or doesn’t want anyone else to have me I just don’t know.
I’m so fed up I feel like I’ve had enough of everything