Anxiety driving me insane

[Gothqueen]

Hi,
I'm currently 7weeks pregnant and have my first midwife appt next week. I had a mc in November and all I keep thinking about is the trauma we went through. I'm checking my underwear constantly, checking tissues when I wipe, getting scared that I have symptoms one day and not the next, darent have sex with my DH and its genuinely driving me crazy. I wake up in night to check. I'm absolutely terrified that things arent right. I have thought about an early scan but reading posts on here, I've decided not to as it's too heartbreaking if anything did happen and thing is, I cannot change the outcome.
Is this normal or have I lost the plot? DH is so calming and chilled about it but spends do much time reassuring me.
Anybody else feel or felt like this? It's doing my head in!

I feel like this! I have absolutely no words of reassurance because I, too am driving myself insane. I had a mmc in December (found out Xmas Eve) and I just can’t relax. I did opt for an early scan but like you say all it did was reassure me for 5 minutes. I have my first midwife appointment this afternoon and hoping she can offer some advice.

You’re definitely not alone x

Hi @Cbbr thank God you replied! I thought I'd genuinely gone mad with stress and anxiety! It's doing us no favours but like you, cant help it. The minute I feel stupid, I then think "I havent had many symptoms today. That means there's something wrong!" Cannot do the next 7 months like this! I'll go gaga. I'm sorry to hear you had a loss too. I suppose its normal to be worried after such a devastating time but we need to calm down 😊 do you feel better for the scan though? I'm still so undecided about it x

Erm...I did. Was nice to know there was something there and it was in the right place with a little tiny flicker of a heartbeat but I had a scan last time, I’d seen the baby and heartbeat and 8 and a half weeks and all was as it should be then within a day or two it had just stopped develop. I’ll definitely be having another (maybe even 2) before the nhs scan. I suffer with anxiety anyway so I take my tablets and I’m in close contact with my gp to just try and get me through the next few weeks as calmly and stress free as possible. I still had positive pregnancy test and nausea a week and a half after mc last time so the usual things people find reassuring I don’t anymore. It’s difficult, I’ve known for 3 and a half weeks and already feels like the longest pregnancy ever!! I’d speak to your midwife and explain how you’re feeling, like you say I’m sure it’s a normal reaction after miscarriage but she might be able to put you more at ease x

I just want to join you and say you are not alone in this! I had 2 miscarriages at the end of 2017. Now I’m pregnant again and it’s just the worst experience ever. I can’t tell anyone, as I don’t want to have to then tell them I’ve lost the baby. I’m driving myself mad. I don’t understand why, as I’m normally a very sensible person, that I can’t get a grip. I’m 8 weeks, and won’t book a midwife appointment as I just don’t see the point. I had a scan on Monday due to follow up post ectopic scare, but it’s not reassured me at all. Sorry, this isn’t helping you guys, but I promise you are not in this alone!

Same here, 8.5 weeks today and had another scan this morning due to brown blood and I have a clot above the baby. The scans personally help me as I know what is happening at the time, I’ve also had an ectopic and MMC and baby has not made it this fsr. The bleeding has really not helped though and I am a bundle of nerves!! Wish I could go to sleep and wake up with everything ok later in the pregnancy!! X

It's a terrifying time this. So much previous sadness and current uncertainty. Im going to speak to my midwife next week and see what she says. I'm sure she's heard it a 1001 times before but maybe she has a solution? I have to pin hope on that as I have nothing else.
I agree that no amount of scans or tests can be the reassurance you need to get through the next 7 months and the only thing that will work is having that little one in your arms in December. Thankyou for your words of comfort and support as I hate feeling like this x

I wish we could all be reassuring and optimistic but I think once you’ve been through that once you darent let yourself get too far ahead! I’m sure I read that just because it has happened once doesn’t mean there’s an increased chance of it happening again and that we’re all just as likely to have a successful pregnancy - here’s hoping eh?! Good luck to everyone, let’s just get through the next few weeks and hopefully I’ll we’ll all be less negative and able to enjoy the rest of our pregnancies. X

Hello 💐 just wanted to say hi & let you know another anxious expecting mum to be! Had a mmc in July last year and now I’m 16 weeks. Went into early 8 week scan with an open mind as I know anything can happen & here I am. The weeks since my 12 week scan have flown thankfully. All the best to you , ‘new sperm new egg’ ❤️💗 xxxx

How is everyone? I'm still no better with the anxiety of all this and it's really starting to affect me and DH now. We were so solid at the start but now I think he feels I'm being irrational and looking for things that arent there. I try and be as optimistic as he is but then he says something like "have a good day at work and look after our baby" and I panic. I genuinely panic all day. I'm doing myself or us as a couple no favours and I'm sinking. Yesterday, I was so positive and even bought some maternity clothes as already, my usual ones are getting uncomfortable. But today? While different ball game. Today I've decided to go for the early scan on payday just so I know everything is ok. I'm sorry for the ramble ladies and I hope everything is still going well with your pregnancies but I'm not coping at all x

Oh dear, it does sound like you’re struggling. Hopefully you’ll be one of the ones that finds an early scan hugely reassuring (I’ve already booked my next one). My husband lives with my mental health and anxiety daily so knows how to manage it, throw into the mix pregnancy and it’s horrendous, add onto that pregnancy after miscarriage and I’m barely worth knowing most of the time. He’s also very positive and optimistic and just how he deals with it, I’m more realistic and try to prepare myself for what could be. Did you speak to your midwife? Mine told me they now have a dedicated prenatal mental health time that you can be referred to, still waiting to hear from mine but it should be pretty quick. Hope you get a scan sorted soon and start to feel a bit more hopeful x

Hi ladies, sorry to hear that you’re still feeling anxious. I’m still feeling it too. Like you I have days when I am very positive and feel like this time it might be ok, but most of the time I’m thinking the worst has happened. I only feel reassured when I feel really nauseous! I’m 8 +4 today, which is the furthest I’ve been recently without any bleeding. I have another ‘reassurance’ scan in 10 days, but I’m just waiting to bleed. It’s just such a horrid way to live. On the positive, just think when you make it to your 12 week scan and pass the high risk stage you will feel so different. Take each day at a time. I have my booking appointment on Tuesday - which I’m dreading - but if I haven’t started bleeding then I’ll be attending. Take care. X