Has morning sickness ever made you regret getting pregnant?

[whohaa]

I'm 7 weeks pregnant. This is a pregnancy that we planned for over 3 years. The baby was very much wanted and so I was delighted when I found out. However, after 3 weeks of feeling like death, it's affected my mental health quite severely. I can't function. I have to lay down most of the day to prevent sickness and dizziness. My poor first born should be enjoying his last few months with just me and him at home, but I am short tempered with him as I feel so ill. I had 17 weeks of this with him, I can't bear the thought of this going on for so long. I'm crying all the time and have started to feel like I don't want to be pregnant anymore. Please don't be harsh, my mental health is not good due to tocophobia about the impending birth.

Yes definitely! I really feel for you, it is awful. Hope it gets better soon for you

@whohaa 100% I have caught myself a couple of times asking 'is it really worth it?' I honestly would not have anymore after this baby as I keep almost blacking out with the dizziness and it is really hard to cope with! Hugs for you 💐 xxx

It sounds like it’s time for you to visit your GP to ask about medication. I didn’t bother, but in retrospect I probably should have done (didn’t realise it might be an option in my case, but I was basically not functioning).

Have a look at the hyperemesis thread, too - there is a set of guidelines for how nausea and vomiting should be treated in pregnancy, which you might find helpful to read and take along with you.

And don’t worry about your little one. You’re not going anywhere. You’ll still get to spend quality time with him even when the baby is born.

You’ll get through it somehow. Three weeks down already!

Yup.

My daughter was not so affectionately known as 'The Leech' in utero.

Was worth it in the end but a few times I even thought about (just fleeting thoughts) termination it was that bad :(

No I didn’t regret it.

I did make adjustments to my diet and sleeping though in order to cope and basically counted down until I knew I felt better first time around.

Lots of water, bed really really early, napped in the day if possible (I would nap with my toddler or get dh to take them while I napped).

Also the biggest thing was eating foods with vit b in - so eggs for breakfast, marmite on toast when I could, bananas at times. I’d also eat 6 small meals a day (basically split each normal meal into two) so I never got hungry. Also having brown rice at dinner and minimal protein at dinner weirdly made me feel better in the mornings. Chicken at lunch times. Mornings I’d have to have crackers by my bed and nibble on them as soon as I woke up.

From what I've read on here and on other websites, your feelings aren't actually that unusual. It's hard to feel happy about something when you are feeling so awful.

For me, it's daily migraines that have made me start regretting getting pregnant. I didn't vomit until reaching 13 weeks but for only one day so far, which made me think it may have been a sickness bug or food poisoning. I have constant reflux, which makes me gag frequently.
However I remember thinking to myself as I was chucking my guts up for the umpteenth time - "How do women with constant morning sickness and hyperemesis do it?? They are superheroes!"

I do want this baby. It was unplanned, but not unwelcome. But being in pain every day has definitely affected my mental health in a hugely negative way. I've been incredibly depressed, I cry most days.
At my booking appointment my midwife said she'd make me known to the mental health midwife, just for their info.

Judgement from others is just not helpful. At one point someone told me "well at least you haven't had a miscarriage then you'd feel worse"... I mean, how much help is that meant to be? All it shows is a complete disregard and ignorance of ante-natal depression.

My husband asked me if I was having a twilight baby the other day. If you haven't seen the films, spoiler alert, one of the characters bella has a baby that nearly kills her by sucking the life out of her. That's me.

This pregnancy has been utterly vile from the start. I'm 32 weeks tomorrow and I have only had about 4 weeks where I haven't been sick. I have been fainting all over the place and generally feeling dizzy and unwell. My spd is awful and I can barely walk.

Do i regret the pregnancy? No, I dont think so. I feel very guilty over the effect this has had on my dd, how much it has changed her life. But i truly believe this little baby is meant to be, and he will be worth every second of illness and pain. Looking at my dd reminds me of what this is all for.

Yes, I did, and I definitely thought "I don't want to be pregnant anymore" several times a day when I had morning sickness. I even said it to DH a few times, that's how bad it was. It's an awful thing to think, I know. But the sickness, nausea, and exhaustion really make you feel terrible. It's bearable for a few days, but when it keeps on going for weeks and weeks and you don't know when it will end, and you have to keep working and trying to function like a normal person, it's really really tough. I think it's normal for that to make you have those thoughts of regret, or wishing you weren't pregnant anymore. You'll get through it though, and it will be worth it in the end. Don't feel bad or guilty for having those thoughts though, it's normal.

I had hyperemesis with my ds and was hospitalised 3 times for IV fluids and ant sickness injections it was the worst time of my life and there were times where I did think this isn't worth it. He was very much planned and he is 100% worth it now he is here but that is one of the reasons we are only having him. I could not go through that again.

It will be worth it in the end OP but I completely understand how hard it is.

Yes definitely. Until someone said to me, that it shows the baby is growing & everything is ok. Then I tried look at it in a positive way.
Hyperemisis is horrible. But it really will be worth it in the end

I am 15 weeks tomorrow with a baby I have wanted for a LONG time. I have often said to people that it's a good job I want it otherwise not sure I could continue if it was an accident. We were also talking about having 3 but I do some days think I definitely could not go through this again. This is the only thing in the world I would feel this dreadful for. I have been on antisickness tablets for a few weeks though so if you are being sick please do look into it. Eating lots of small meals a day helps me now I'm not being sick but at one point I couldn't even keep water down.

I'm currently 11 wks with my third - I had horrendous HG with both my previous children but far, far worse with DC2. I was vomiting upwards of 15 times a day right up until 33 weeks. After several visits to the GP she finally took me seriously after I threw up in her office and gave me some decent medication which allowed me to function semi-normally and I only threw up once or twice a day.

I've fallen pregnant again very quickly, DC2 is only 11 months, and the first time that the nausea hit me and I stared into that white porcelain hell hole again, it all just came back to me I just wanted to cry. The aching ribs, the constant sore throat, the never ending monotony of sickness, people telling me to avoid the foods that make me sick (err, everything makes me sick, even water...)

I seriously contemplated a termination at that point. I sobbed into DH's arm and luckily having seen me go through it all with DC2 he has been so very supportive and just let me vent! Luckily the GP hasn't waited in prescribing me the good stuff again this time so I've not hit the peak I did with DC2.

But good god it's beyond awful.

@whohaa if I'm truly honest, and I feel terrible for saying it but I felt the same. Although this is baby no.1. Was horrendously sick till I got to 12 weeks. Cried most days. If we decide to have a second at any point I'll be counting down the days and hoping the sickness goes again at 12 weeks

Yes. I'm 40 weeks now and was vomiting daily for the first 20 weeks. It genuinely took about 6 weeks after the vomming stopped to forgive my (much wanted but unexpected) baby/parasite.

I'm still not sure how anyone knowingly and voluntarily signs up for a second pregnancy. Jury's still out here!

Thank you for this question, I think it needs to be talked about more often. There seems to be a shame associated with unhappiness in pregnancy. I mean, yes, a wanted pregnancy is a wonderful thing but that doesn't make it any less hellish. My husband and I wanted this pregnancy very much, especially when we had concerns about fertility issues due to our ages. Yet, I am feeling so physically and mentally sick that sometimes I will think, "If this pregnancy doesn't work out, I can start feeling better again." Ironically my biggest fear is also having a miscarriage, not because I have bonded with my baby, but because I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS AGAIN. I feel that after this experience I could NEVER get pregnant again. I have told my husband that it feels that there's a parasite or cancer inside of me, and he agrees. I wouldn't say I regret it, but if I had known it would be like that, I wouldn't have gone into this at all. Hello, adoption.

buninthebun is absolutely right, it should be talked about often and loudly. I lost count of the times I've heard people say that "You're pregnant ffs, you're not ill"

Yes, in and of itself pregnancy is not an illness. But pregnancy can certainly make you ill. I guarantee that if someone had these symptoms day in and day out for months, then they wouldn't ever be told to get a grip or just get on with it ffs!

It’s a tough time. I don’t understand people who try saying pregnancy isn’t an illness, it certainly feels like one! I felt dire for the first 18 weeks with my last pregnancy and tbh, I never felt particularly great even after the all day nausea had subsided.

Completely! This is my 2nd and my last. I literally felt the worst I have ever felt in my life for at least the first 16 weeks. Constant nausea & vomiting.

Do not feel bad for thinking things. I felt awful for thinking those things but really shouldn't have, I wish I didn't dwell at the start. It was shit, there's no sugar coating it.

Yup. I had such bad nausea with much wanted DS2 I contemplated abortion at 10 weeks. Everything was otherwise fine, but had a toddler already and coping with parenting with that wall of nausea was awful. It did lift at 12 weeks thankfully. You can get medication to help. I had Stemetil and ds2 is approaching 10 now and hasn't appeared to be remotely affected by that. Hang in there. Ask your GP for help.

Yes, agree with what others have said. One other thing though - pregnacare pregnancy vitamins made the nausea even worse, totally upped the ‘feeling poisoned’ factor, I just took folic acid in the end. Apparently I’m not the only one, if you google it.

Thank you everyone. I did tell dh in a crying fit that I don't want this anymore. I can't cope with this anymore. I know that if anything goes wrong, that will be it, I'm never doing this again.

I felt so awful when I was pregnant I regretted it throughout, both times. I am so glad to have my children now and it does feel like a distant memory but it was hideous at the time and I wishes hourly that I hadn't done it.
It has stopped me having a third

I had it all day everyday until the birth. If someone had offered to shoot me and put me out of my misery I’d have gladly let them.

Yeah, 2nd Hyperemesis pregnancy for me. Both times I've wanted to just end it, and that was while on anti sickness meds. Although I found the nausea is worse than the sickness. It really drags you down.

Yes. I had bad morning sickness which lasted well into 2nd trimester with DS1, but didn't once which I wasn't pregnant. Had HG with this pregnancy, and even though we were trying for a long time for him, I had a lot of days where I wished I wasn't pregnant. I never fully considered termination, but it did enter my head which was bad enough. I'm 36 weeks now and feeling better so those awful thoughts are gone, but this will be my last pregnancy for sure.