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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Invited to wedding 10 days before due date

26 replies

Tobebythesea · 06/04/2019 14:33

As in the title, myself and my DH (not DD1) have been invited to a wedding 2 and a half hours drive away when I’ll be over 38 weeks pregnant. It’s a close friend. My gut is saying no but my my heart is saying yes. Have to arrange childcare, hotel etc. WWYD?

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Bambamber · 06/04/2019 14:40

I would probably still go, just have your hospital bag with you and your notes to be on the safe side. I would also just check where the nearest hospital is. But then I'm very relaxed about these things

If you book the hotel just check the cancellation policy to check if you would still be charged.

Myyearmytime · 06/04/2019 14:45

Do you have other kids?
If so i would no bother. As you need a bit of overnight help when you have the baby.

Original poster

Tobebythesea · 06/04/2019 14:50

Yes, DD who is 3. Trying to ‘reserve’ some help for the birth.

OP posts:

noblegiraffe · 06/04/2019 14:53

I did when I was pregnant with my first (actually 39 weeks). It went fine.

But knowing now how the birth actually went (EMCS, in hospital for a week as DS got an infection) I actually think it was a stupid risky thing to do. If I’d had that birth so far from home it would have been incredibly difficult logistically. And getting back home after an EMCS where I could barely walk for a month would have been a nightmare.

Original poster

Tobebythesea · 06/04/2019 14:55

I hadn’t thought about that. Good point.

OP posts:

Peterpiperpickedwrong · 06/04/2019 14:56

I would decline because I worry.

I would be worried that If I said yes and baby comes early then they have to pay for our meals and have place settings re arranged, I may not get any money back for the hotel if I needed to cancel.
If I went all that way heavily pregnant -a wedding is a very long day so I may be uncomfortable. Also if I suddenly went into labour that is a long drive back or birth in a hospital a long way from home.

Bobbiepin · 06/04/2019 14:56

Went to a wedding at 39+2 and it was great. Gave birth at 39+4, no regrets. Take notes and bag and if you start to feel early labour coming on go home.

HattieRabbit · 06/04/2019 15:01

I agree, it’s a risk for all of you.

You and DH because should baby come early you may be stranded 2 hours away! Causing a logistical nightmare for you/DD.

Also the B&G as weddings can cost £150 a plate, if you back out last minute it’ll be a big waste!

RoseReally · 06/04/2019 15:02

Personally I wouldn't, mainly because of the distance. In my first pregnancy I was supposed to go to a wedding with DH at around 38 weeks, I think it was a 3 or 4 hour drive. Luckily I decided not to go in the end as I ended up getting a thrombosed haemorrhoid (sorry TMI!) that weekend and I could barely walk, and definitely couldn't have sat in the car that long. You could be absolutely fine but you just don't know. I suppose I would also consider how close the nearest hospital is.

codenameduchess · 07/04/2019 08:01

Could you say a tentative yes and see how you are closer to the day? It's hard to know how you'll be as some women would be ok going while others wouldn't.

I was invited to a wedding on my due date with dd, it was a very close friend and I said if baby hadn't arrived and I was in able to go then I would but if baby had arrived or I wasn't able/comfortable to go then I wouldn't. The bride was fine with that. As it turned out dd came 3 weeks early and the wedding ended up being called off but I probably would have gone with dd and left before the evening started because I'd have wanted to see my friends wedding.

user1493413286 · 07/04/2019 08:07

I wouldn’t as I wouldn’t want to give birth that far away from home leaving the logistical nightmare of your DP coming back and forth and seeing your DD then the travelling back with a newborn when they shouldn’t be in the car very long at all when first born. I also wouldn’t want to travel that far with contractions even if you could come back while in early labour.

Also how does the bride/groom feel about you potentially having to cancel last minute?
Having said that my bridesmaid came to my hen do that distance away at 38 weeks as she didn’t worry the way I do.

EarringsandLipstick · 07/04/2019 08:10

If was local, then yes, but as you have to travel a considerable distance, definitely not. 2 of my 3 children arrived at 37, and 38 weeks respectively.
Also it's a lot to take on, physically, so close to your due date

Villanellesproudmum · 07/04/2019 08:15

I would as you’re only 2.5 hours away. Depends on how you personally feel though.

Sizeofalentil · 07/04/2019 08:23

Could you go for the day and meal but leave before the evening?

Groovee · 07/04/2019 08:36

My niece had to pull out of my other niece's wedding at the last minute as she went into labour 2 weeks early.

ThinkingAboutRL · 07/04/2019 08:57

If it was one of my bestest and closest friends I probably would but then I worked 2.5 hours away from home during the week right up to a week before my due date with my first! You could get stuck there but nothing is insurmountable. Depends if the friend is worth it!

Twickerhun · 07/04/2019 09:02

I’d go. I needed the distraction at that point from feeling pregnant and bored and from wanting to clean and cook.

O4FS · 07/04/2019 09:05

I wouldnt because of the distance and that you can’t guarentee being there. I’m sure they want you there so accept that you might not make it, suck up the cost etc but there’s the travelling and staying over for you too. Plus you might just really want to be close to home by that point.

palebluewalls · 07/04/2019 09:09

My daughter arrived at 38 weeks so no I wouldn't. If it was 30mins down the road then I would but not a couple of hours away.

gebs · 07/04/2019 09:11

I've been invited to a wedding two days before I'm due luckily it's very local (15min drive) and I've spoken to the bride and she's made me feel very relaxed about whatever my decision is. At the moment if baby isn't here I'm going to see how i feel on the day, but I'm pretty apprehensive!

secretlyhermione · 07/04/2019 09:13

I have the same problem... My cousin's wedding is three weeks before the due date and it's about a 1.5 hour drive for us. Was first contemplating an over night stay but feeling like if we do end up going would probably head back in the eve.
I would probably go and just pack my bags .. then again this is my first pregnancy so have no idea what to expect

Banhaha · 07/04/2019 09:17

Have you let the bride and groom know? They'd probably be fine with you deciding how you feel nearer the time in the circumstances and would let you decide on the day.

ShowOfHands · 07/04/2019 09:18

If the couple are happy with you potentially pulling out on the day or beforehand due to early labour, I'd say yes and see how I felt.

Buddytheelf85 · 07/04/2019 10:38

I had a similar situation although it wasn’t quite so far away (about 1.5 hrs). I had an open conversation with the bride and she felt that a) since the meal was costing about £150 per head and b) since they had incredibly limited space, she didn’t really want two ‘maybes’ (i.e. me and my DH) - totally reasonable and obviously we completely understood. The four of us agreed to go out for a special meal together a few weeks before my due date instead. So the decision was basically made for us. Might it be the same for you?

purplemama1990 · 08/04/2019 11:30

I would go to be honest. If you start feeling anything like labour coming on, I would just jump in the car and head back home to give birth in your local hospital. I doubt you'd start feeling contractions and have the baby before you manage to get back, 2 and a half hours isn't too far. Most people end up labouring for much longer than that at home before heading to the hospital anyway, so you would probably be back home before it's even time to head to the hospital.

But on the chance things do progress faster than expected, definitely take your notes and hospital bag along too.

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