Is there ever a right time???

[Flossy04]

Just that ladies, is there ever a right time??

Constantly running things through my head as to why it would and wouldn't be the 'right time' to start a family

We thought we'd picked a pretty good time. We didn't own a house but we both had fairly well paid (for the area) jobs, had some savings.

Then I got pregnant, DH got seriously ill and ended up off sick for 7 months until he had an operation, my pregnancy went HR and I ended up on reduced hours.

Due to the amount of hospital visits between the pair of us, we were going through a tank and a half of diesel a week, food, rent etc. Burnt through most our savings.

This time we are trying, he has same job but looking at a better offer, I work 2 evenings a week, and we are about to move into a caravan to save some money to be able to look to buy some land in a couple of years.

Life can change in an instant, so no I don't think there's a good/right time. However I do think that you have to be realistic about if you can afford it (it's taken us nearly 2 years to get back on our feet, however hopefully the situation won't be repeated with the next pregnancy)

There's never a good time. We're currently jobless. Both pregnancies have been horrendously draining in different ways and I have PND still from my first one. I was also finishing uni when I fell pregnant, which wasn't too bad but I couldn't work due to severe sickness and the problems that came with that.

No. Never a right time.
We planned to TTC last year. Pregnant end of October. Out of the blue was made redundant at the end of year. Total shock. Luckily found a new job and started in January.
Currently 26 weeks pregnant. You can think it's the right time and life will take a big turn. Doesn't make things easy but still very much excited for our new arrival and I wouldn't change a thing.

No. I was pregnant with dd2 at a time that seemed great. Dh expected to be earning more by the time she was at nursery; we had savings to move house; everything was good. He had a terrible time at work, we never saw him, he had statutory sick pay, got a lower paid job, we had no money.

But we have two lovely daughters and everything is working out now. You can never plan for everything, no one would have children if we thought about it it that much detail. Do you want them, can you look after them, can you afford it, what about work and childcare? These are the big things to ask yourself.

I don’t think there’s a “right” time however, for example, if you and your DP had a house (rent or mortgage) with bills to pay that depends on BOTH of your incomes, you need to think carefully about incomings vs outgoings and how much your DP can afford to cover whilst you’re on Mat pay (which is quite crap in my opinion) and if you have any savings you can use to top up if things get tight. If these things don’t work for you right now, then yes it is probably not the right time to have a baby.

Do you have a good support network around you? Ie family who can help and offer physical and emotional support?

I got pregnant one year ago when me and DP were in the same job. We were on quite low salaries for London, I was spending all my money renting a flat and we had no savings. Probably wasn’t the best time looking back. However I miscarried.

I am pregnant again now, me and DP both have better jobs with almost double the pay we were on last year, and savings that could last me a whole year and that’s if I relied on it every day, which I won’t be. So we are in a much better position and I’m far more confident about it this time around. So that’s the advice I would give

Thank you guys so much for your replies!!

We always get to a point where we feel everything is fine and set out just right for us to try then something happens like I get my hours dropped at work or he isn't as busy at his job (I.e self employed)

It seems to be every time we think of trying and yes I have a great family round me on both sides of the family we all get on great I know they'd help to the ends of the earth for us

Everything just gets overwhelming and I over think it all the time

DP has a child of his own and they had him young he had to work 2 jobs and she didn't work at all but now he's 3 and we can provide for him fine never have a problem with that, it's the added cost of a baby and me having to go on mat leave that scares me

I'm finishing my last module of uni a week before giving birth to my third child and we just sale agreed on our house after it had been on the market for over a year . Sometimes life just throws u curve balls , savings are key though . If u have something banked it's always reassuring that if something should happen you have back up. Xx

No there is never the perfect time however there is the problem of leaving it too late and then wondering why you can't conceive and dealing with that heart ache.
I wish I had worried less about the "right time" and started much younger x

There's no perfect time, but having a few £1000's in savings provides a cushion if things change course.

Nope no perfect timing you just have to adapt to the changes as things always change! Good luck OP

We planned to start out family 3 years ago. Everything was perfect but it didn't happen. However now I'm 19+4weeks today and we couldn't be happier. Everything has slotted into place so far. What we plan and what our bodies decide are 2 different things. I wish you lots of luck and happiness x

No I don’t think there is. It took us 2 years to conceive with DD, she is currently nearly 5 months and we are already TTC a second. We know it may not take as long this time and could happen sooner than we expect but if it does we’ll deal with it. Our experience TTC DD has made us realise you can plan things all you want but things don’t always work out. You could TTC at the ‘perfect time’ and then end up in a similar situation to us. If you have jobs, a home, and both want a baby then go for it.
With regards to mat leave, yes it’s hard and I’d try and save as much as you can to help soften the blow a bit but you’d be amazed how quickly you adapt to spending less on food shopping etc.

No there's not! I had what I felt was a badly timed surprise with DD1. I was 25, only 18 months into a career, had bought a one bed flat with DP we hadn't talked about marriage. Neither of us earnt much. On paper terrible timing and I wouldn't have picked it. Fast forward 8 years; we had her, had another 2.5 years later. DH earnings grew considerably, we upgraded out home, I went back to work and got promoted a couple of times. We are both now earning a good salary, both kids at school with minimal childcare and no future maternity leaves/work gaps standing in front of our earning potential. We are overpaying our mortgage to pay off considerably easier and all is well. It felt like a huge disaster at the time.

I guess I'm saying whatever you do, it'll provably work out and be okay, there isn't a perfect time

Guys you've all out my mind at ease so much! We have about 5k saved up and we've been waiting and waiting for the right time to come and we're determined that this year would be THE YEAR but the beginning of the year sent us a curve ball DP lost his job and had to set up on his own etc

Hopefully going to move in with family and stop renting (throwing our money down the drain) could Save upto 1.5k a month if we didn't have this rent and bills to pay for so fingers crossed