Midwife help

[Rainbowbabyc]

Hi everyone, just looking for a bit of advice.

When I found out I was pregnant I was given a midwife at around 8 weeks since that appoitment I've had one around 16 weeks which was with another midwife covering mine as she was busy. I'm now 23 weeks and haven't seen my midwife since 8 weeks, I have contacted her for advice and reassurance multiple times to not get anything for a few days and finally get the reply contact the gp or go a&e, I feel like I have no support and feel as if I bug my gp constantly as i panic and have no one to talk to

I have been asking my midwife about my Anti D to get a unhelpful reply which I then went and sorted myself through the hospital and requested blood tests, I have also been having panic attacks constantly and got told I was not severe enough for her help after she asked who I was when I finally called multiple times..I also had my endo removed a month before I conceived as well as scar tissue which they said they would keep a eye on but I've had no support and my anxiety is sky high now

I really would like a better relationship with my midwife as I feel I don't even have one, I'm worried about contacting the office to tell them as she may be sat in the office and hear the voice mail and I will be stuck with a awkward atmosphere for the rest of my pregnancy

I'm not too sure who to contact for advice

@Rainbowbabyc

Sorry to hear you’re having a tough time with getting support from your midwife. It sounds like changing midwife is a good idea, especially as it sounds like things are getting missed with your care. Hopefully a change will put your mind at rest.

I’m planning on changing midwife too as I just don’t feel she’s right for me, and the thought of her visiting after the baby is born stresses me out because I find her quite challenging!!

My plan is to call up and cancel the current appointment I have with my midwife, and ask to rebook with another midwife at the unit that I know the name of. In your case, just keep ringing until you get through to a person (rather than leaving a message). It needn’t be awkward, just say you’d like to change midwife and I’m sure they won’t challenge it. If they do, your justification above seems more than reasonable to want to do so - plus it’s your pregnancy and your birth, and you need to feel supported with both your physical and mental health.

Good luck x

It sounds like she has seen you a normal amount of times, but clearly you have some additional needs you need support with, but that unfortunately don’t fall within the remit of a community midwife.
Have you got a mobile number for her?
I couldn’t see my midwife until 13week, and needed to arrange an early scan after a miscarriage a few months ago, but we arranged it all via text message.

Thank you @Browniee it's such a shame as she was nice at the start but I think they must allocate to many people to one, I just feel like I don't have anyone there but i felt as if I was being a pain! I'll keep ringing and hopefully catch someone, they like to let it go to answer phone in the office which is a pain xx it's so much more comforting knowing you have a good relationship with them as I'd feel the same after the baby is here too x

Thank you @Ambs81 it's the fact I missed my anti D tests which are important and I knew I was negative at the start of my pregnancy and she didn't help me even though I rang her mobile for support so I had to directly go to antenatal clinic and keep requesting it, I also had 2 miscarriages and a operation late September which I was told they would monitor and I have seen random people I didn't know and not my midwife so I never know who I'm seeing or where I'm going. I thought she was lovely when we first met and I generally think she has too many people allocated to her or she's not actually located in my area which is a shame but she has no idea who I am or my records as we only met once so would rather have a relationship with my midwife and know who they are..

@Ambs81 Im sorry to hear about your previous miscarriage too x

With my first pregnancy, I never saw the same antenatal midwife more than twice. There were 9 working there, but 6 were off on long term sick. When I had the baby, I had a different set of postnatal midwives because of where I lived (I didn't know that until after). So, while it's not great, it's also not uncommon to see different ones. Plus the further along you are, the more appointments you get. I'd check who looks after you post natally so you don't get a surprise if it is different.

This time round, I've used the midwife drop in centres for questions that have not been answered quickly (there should be one in your area). If you can't get hold of your midwife, contact the community midwife office and they can direct you. It took me a month to get my Mat B1 form.

That being said, apparently there is a government initiative to make sure there is a continuity of care. Again, speak to the community midwives or consultant midwife about that.

Hi OP. I’m afraid your expectations of a community midwife may be a little outside of what they are able to offer you in the current climate of the NHS.

If you had routine booking bloods taken, your blood group and rhesus status would have been noted. Anti D would not usually be offered to you until 28 weeks so it would not be abnormal to not have discussed this further at this stage, unless you had a bleed.

With regards to ‘keeping an eye on’ your scar tissue etc. It may be that you did not meet the threshold for a consultant referral when your midwife processed your booking paperwork. You can ask for clarification of this. Sometimes doctors will promise things that are not within the usual schedule of care and it is unfair for the women who then expect certain things that are not usually offfered.

Your anxiety sounds like it is the main issue. You need to talk to your GP or midwife about what perinatal mental health support is available to you. You do need support but I am afraid it just might not be what a community midwife with a caseload of potentially 60+ women is going to be able to provide to you.

Also...I was told by my midwife that GPs don't get funding for pregnant women like they used to, so very often they will fob you off refer you to midwives.

@Eslteacher06 Because GPs are not now funded to see pregnant women for routine antenatal care in most areas (the ‘shared care’ model) they are often out of practise and would feel uncomfortable providing pregnancy-specific care. They should however provide all medical care required during your pregnancy that is not specifically pregnancy related. If you have a stomach bug or chest infection for example.

I live in an area covered by a group of midwives. I never saw the same one, and didn't see any of them during the 3(really long)days being induced.

I think it's normal to not have 1 dedicated midwife.

If you're not happy, request to change, I'm sure she wouldn't take it personally and you need to do what's best for you.

How annoying OP. I know how you feel, with my first (nearly 4 now) there was a possibility of having her early due to complications. I rung her for advice and I'm still waiting for her to call me back to this day!
I did put a complaint in and she said she was leaving the practice when I had rung and was handing over to another midwife. She was only concerned about me missing my 28 week bloods (although baby was nearly delivered at 28 weeks so was the last thing the hospital was concerned about)
I had my new midwife from 34 weeks and she was lovely. Although after she was born I never saw the same midwife twice. Short staffage and more babies being born.

2nd baby I had the same midwife throughout and she was absolutely fantastic, but again after baby was born I never saw the same midwife twice again.

She said they send midwife from a hub in the morning and depending on who is on shift for the area is who you see that day.

Try not to stress yourself out too much. They're all trained and know what they're doing :)

I get they are out of practice, but it would be good to know that before an issue arises.

I had fallen hard on my stomach at 28 weeks pregnant on a busy road outside the GP, covered in cuts and bruises. I genuinely thought I killed my baby. The 'care' I got from the GP was shocking. When I told my midwife what happened, that was her response, so I'm very reticent to go back. I'm not saying all GPs are like that, but it was a difficult experience for me, and one I could have avoided.

It might be worth getting in touch with one to one midwives. They're fantastic and you have the same midwife throughout your pregnancy and I've found them to be so supportive. If you look online, you can find all the information about them.

You should have all the different phone numbers on the front of your green notes and then the schedule of appointments is in there as well. I've seen a different midwife every time so although I have a few mobile numbers I have never contacted them direct. I did have a concern at one point so used the list on my book and phoned the maternity triage who, because of the nature of my issue and the distance to them, contacted the midwife office for me. I've had more contact with my GP with problems as I've had a UTI and fairly severe indigestion, because there would need prescriptions.

You should be due your next midwife appointment at 25 weeks so that could be a good opportunity to discuss your anxiety and to confirm what they want you to do if you have queries in order to get a quick response. With their shift patterns and them having to run clinics (and at one of my appointments they had to pause it to have a phone call discussion about a poorly newborn) and do visits I suspect that's why they have said a&e or GP as these will be quicker than waiting for your specific community midwife to have their office time.

I must be lucky because I have seen two midwives who work closely together and they have been incredibly supportive and like you I have had additional requirements. Sorry to hear you have not felt supported.