Pregnancy Self-Esteem

[Maddis136]

Hi ladies,
Has anyone else found their self-esteem go off a cliff in pregnancy? I'm feeling so wretched I just want to hide in the house. It goes without saying that I am beyond grateful to be pregnant, but constant comments about "Wow you're so huge I thought you were due now" and little digs whenever I'm seen eating are having a huge impact. I have also suffered acne this pregnancy so just generally feel like a monster. What's worrying me is that if I didn't keep thinking "eat or it will harm your baby" I would probably stop eating very much at all.

Anyone else feel this way? Tips for coping with the rude comments?

Self esteem can take quite a knock during pregnancy. Someone broke the news to my work colleagues before the twelve week scan & I was so annoyed, particularly when people started commenting on how big I was for eight weeks. Then a friend asked if I was expecting the next one barely eight weeks post birth! The best way I found to deal was to ignore the comments or laugh it off. It’s your body, so long as everything feels ok to you & your midwife has no concerns then it’s no ones business. Try not to let it get to you, people talk & they don’t always realise their words could be hurtful. Chin up! Remember there’s a great reward at the end of the nine months

Thanks Angela. It's so frustrating because my midwife says I'm an average size and when I look at women who are 9 months they are double the size I am so when I get these comments I think "wow I must be seeing something totally different when I look in the mirror".
I seriously can't wait to have this baby now!

I'm exactly the same. I've never been very confident with my looks, my weight especially. Now I'm "huge" with my bump and the hormones have really messed with my skin. I was okay when I could hide my bump under baggy clothes, but at 37 weeks I can't hide anymore. Unless I stay home. Even when I do go out people always stare at my belly and I worry that they're thinking I'm fat rather than pregnant.

I'm trying my best to ignore the anxiety, avoid mirrors and remember the reward at the end - and that this is all temporary! - but then I worry about my post-birth body. It never ends!

I'm trying to keep reminding myself that THIS. IS. TEMPORARY. that all the stares at my belly will end as soon as my baby is born. That I can work on getting back to me as soon as he's born.

As corny as it sounds; try pampering your temporary body. I've dyed my hair, soaked in lovely smelling baths, played/styled with my hair and treated my skin as best I can - anything that could distract me from my belly. It helped me lift my confidence up. Especially when I hear "you dyed your hair? It looks lovely!" rather than "you're so huge, when are you going to pop?!"

I totally get this ... I am 39 weeks this weekend and just want to hibernate and have done since I got a bump tbh. Slightly ashamed of saying that as I'm so lucky to carry this lovely baby and I'm grateful but I don't cope well with the changes tk my body. I just don't like people passing comment on my body shape . It makes me uncomfortable . I had quite a few comments ranging from where's ur bump it's Too small during 20 odd weeks to when I exploded overnight I got omg ur huge now! U must be due soon... this is be biggest I've seen u , is a personal favorite 🙄🖕🏻... like PP said . This is temporary . It isn't forever . And I second that by pampering yourself get a dose of fake tan on u or gradual tan and it took the edge of it for me personally, I felt a little glowiier and healthy looking. Or if money allows get ur eyebrows done , little things like that helped me a lot . Ps I had awful preg acne and a good layer of sudocrem few nights a week really helped or there's stuff from the doc called zineryt ur allowed in pregnancy it's VERY VERY good . Dries the spots right up and there's a small amount of antibiotic in it to reduce the inflammation of the acne too xoxoxox hope all this helps and chin up my love .

Great idea Vixen thank you. I haven’t done and pampering. And yes I must focus on the idea it’s temporary. Just wish the odd person would throw in a “you look great” amongst the “are you having twins”.

I would ignore these comments I started to hate my pregnancy from 20 weeks onwards and I just wanted my little boy out!
But once he was born I miss feeling his little wiggles & kicks and I wish I just enjoyed that feeling of closeness and ignored peoples comments, I mean I still get cuddles but I have to share them with my partner 😂

Just try to enjoy your pregnancy 😘

I think people just want to say something and don’t think about it too much. Enjoy your pregnancy and enjoy baby.

Thanks ladies. Great advice and tips. I’m going to ask doc for help with my skin and pamper myself too. People can be so rude when you’re pregnant. Last time it was more after I had my baby that people kept asking what “fitness and diet plan” I was following and when I was thinking of being back in shape! I think all these celebs who look the same with a bump stuck on have warped the world’s opinion of what Mothers look like!

@Maddis136
Oh tell me about it! I had a random woman stop me when I was in my local pub bathroom (only for food don't worry 😆) and she proceeded to lecture me on how I can lose the baby fat because I shouldn't "stay fat".

Also had an old lady shout at me on the bus "don't rub your fat against me!" when I was trying to get off and she refused to move out of my way even after I asked her.

I'm with the other posters here: some people are dicks, but others don't know what they're saying can hurt. Im hoping my cute newborn will distract people from looking at me while I'm burning off the bump 😆

Yep. I have zero confidence. I am 19 weeks so nearly half way and feel gross. My husband looks at me weird and doesn't want to ...

Someone at work called me a chunky monkey.

My mother said "god aren't you fat?" Meant in jest obviously but still.

My brother commented "you look better with a fuller face"

My 70 year old boss (a bloke) made a sly comment about my boobs.

I went to the gym last night and just sat and cried in my car after. I have a graveyard of clothes that no longer fit. I am 5ft so struggle to find clothes to fit anyway.

My skin just looks drained regardless of make up and I just want to curl up and ignore the world. ..

But then I feel little Bambino and it's all worth it. X

@snowflake it is so so hard when all these digs build up. Trying to tell myself that in a few months we will have gorgeous babies and these people will still just be thoughtless dicks.

@Snowflake9
People can be thoughtless with what they say, I know I'll definitely never say anything like what we've all had to pregnant women.

This is temporary. But while we're here; let's remember. We're growing a little person. That is outstanding. It requires strength, patience and love for our baby. People can choose to look at us and comment on the only thing they see: the outside, but we are creating the next generation inside.

We do sacrifice so much. Our weight, our skin, our self confidence. But there's always one person who will never care about that: our baby. He/she will only ever see Mummy. They won't see the pale skin, the 'fat' or anything else that others will feel the need to point out. They see the one person they love more than anyone else.

That's got to be worth all this temporary misery, right ladies?

Drown out the sound & enjoy it - people always have something to say.

I loved pampering myself!

Hot baths-shopping-cinema trips-walks-reading-working-having my hair done etc

All the things that make you feel good so more of them!

Enjoy it as before you know it baby will be here 💗