TTC after a horrendous miscarriage

[Thechangeishere]

So last week I miscarried at 11 weeks. I ended up being taken to the hospital in an ambulance and spent 8 hours in intensive care, after a very heavy bleed. I basically had residue in the womb that had to be removed surgically and until that happened the heavy bleeding didn’t stop. I was also given blood transfusion as my blood pressure went critically low.

Physically I’m actually quite well now and I’ve been so ever since I was discharged from the hospital. However the shock and the mental trauma will stay with me for a while.

Every doctor I saw told me I can try again after just one period, however I’m literally scared. The number of ‘what if-s’ that pop into my head (my DH wasn’t home, I was working, I was out with my toddler, I was abroad etc) just puts me off ever trying again.

Anyone with a similar experience? And when were you ready mentally to try again?

My experiences were nowhere near as traumatic but I have had a boringly complicated second missed miscarriage recently which is taking months to physically get over and put me to bed with grief for 10 days. There is no single recovery timeframe for the emotional side. First miscarriage I was desperate to try again and did so and conceived right away (my son is 3 now) This time I am jaded and reluctant to face pregnancy again. I would say if you know you want another, go ahead and start trying. Do you know if the blood loss was likely just a one off, freak thing?

@LovesHisMummyReally sorry to hear about your experiences :(.

The heavy blood loss seems to be an one off freaky thing. I had what they call a cervical shock which is a complication of incomplete miscarriage, totally new to this. I understand it’s not very common but it does happen.

We are desperate to try again and time is against us as we are both older parents so waiting for a few years or even several months is not really an option. But then what if this happens again? Not sure I can mentally or even physically cope with another crazy miscarriage.

I don’t want to give you false hope, but I think there is evidence somewhere that suggests that if you conceive straight after a MC, there is a reduced (from the 20% stats) incidence of MC. Almost like the body gives you a window to have better odds. Of course, this could be rumour that is meant to make people feel better, so I hope no one is offended or upset by my post!! Eek.

Personal experience: my best friend had 3 MCs, one five yrs ago, one two yrs ago and then one last year in Aug. She was pregnant in her first cycle after the MC and is now 6mths preg. She was on the list for further investigations for repeat MCs. Her colleague had an almost identical history, and she had her second baby in Jan, conceived less than a month after MCing. So you have good odds for a successful pregnancy. I just hope to help you towards positivity, but of course the trauma can stay with you for a really long time. Be kind to yourself xx

@Sessy19 thank you for your post. False hope or not, it gave me a massive mental boost x

@the change.... GOOD!! Yay me! 😂😂😂

The only way we can conquer this is to think positive my love, and as best we can, support one another. Big love xxx

I had the same experience OP. Had medical management for a missed miscarriage in May 2017 but I hamemorrhaged, went into shock and needed an emergency ERPC to remove the ‘products of conception’ (I hate that term so much). Needed a blood transfusion and felt ill for a while after. Mentally I was distraught for months, it never really fully goes away either. I still remember the dates and feel a bit sad around that time...

I was pregnant again three months later but sadly had another missed miscarriage, had the ERPC that time and was fine. Pregnant again three months after that and the result is five months old .

I’m so sorry for your loss OP. Please get some counselling and be kind to yourself. Don’t rush into trying if you don’t feel ready, it’s ok to spend some time grieving.

Hi OP, I had 1 MMC at 9 weeks and 4 early miscarriages (4-5 weeks, chemicals). I can honestly say I haven't got over those, I don't think you ever do, it just gets easier as time goes on. However after thinking what you are thinking, what if it happens again etc I was petrified of trying again. The first 12 weeks are the worst, analysing every symptom & pain. However I now have a 14 week old little boy. He was my 6th pregnancy.
I think you just kind of have to throw yourself back into it, thinking positive, because you will get your baby which you so long for in the end. You just don't know when it will happen tho.
I hope what I have said make sense. Also if you don't try again how will you get a successful one?
You have to keep on trying. That's how I thought of it anyway.
Glad to hear you are well. Start trying again when you feel ready.

I kept on trying a month or so after each loss.

Hi everyone, so sorry for all your losses but congratulations on your successful pregnancies.

Your messages mean a lot to me so thank you very much. All the best to you xx