Considering using a sperm donor at age 29

[honeylove123]

I’m 29 years old, single (newly out of a long term relationship) and always thought I would have had a baby by now.

The idea of dating again really doesn’t interest me so I know it sounds crazy but I’ve seriousky started to consider finding a sperm doner and I’m sure I’ll meet the right man down the line.

I run a successful business and have savings so I’m finically secure. I was raised by an amazing single mum so the idea of being a single mum has never bothered me although I would obviously prefer being in a loving relationship before having a baby.

Am I being crazy? Has anyone else done this at my age?

Not crazy. Do you

How recently are you out of a relationship? Don't make any rash decisions just because you've not reached arbitrary milestones.

You're absolutely not alone. There are far more women doing this than you might imagine!

My DD is nearly 2 now and she is the result of IUI with donor sperm. We have a lovely friendship group of other donor babies and their mums.

I am so pleased I had the thought and then the courage to do this. There is a long-running Mumsnet thread for women using donors to have a baby. You'll see that there are plenty of women 'crazy' enough to do this I'll see if I can find it and post a link.

One thing I would say is to please research carefully into all the options. I would only recommend the route of using a good fertility clinic, or at the very least a regulated sperm bank, to do this.

You're not at all crazy. I'd maybe give yourself a little more time just to ensure you've totally got the relationship out of your system, but I think I you should go for it.

Its something I wish I'd done but I stayed in my now crumbling relationships.

Good luck xx

Hello @INeedNewShoes it's HopingForALittleOne here - can't believe your little one is nearly two, where is the time going?

I agree with shoes do research and talk to those people you can ( friends or family). You have thought about finances but don't forget to think about support for you post baby. I moved from London back to where all my family are from and best decision ever for support.

I started thinking about this at 29 too ( I have a 16 month old by donor sperm and currently pregnant with second child by same donor)

I did hope to meet the one so put it to one side and did everything. I could for a few years to meet someone. It never happened for me amd although I still hope to meet someone it was very important for me not to miss out on motherhood. I had my first child when I was 35.

I would recommend the thread shoes mentioned too it's on conception board for donor conception.

Xx

Yes crazy

You're still relatively young in a fertility sense and too early to be thinking about purposely removing the chance for a child to have a father - yes I'm sure there are lots of people who will say my child doesn't suffer and so on but they can't speak for them at that age and their child might have a completely different take on it when they are an adult (I should know I'm one of them)

I had planned on doing this when I was more settled after my long term relationship. If you think it is right for you then I would definitely look into it. If you can be self sufficient then no reason not to, no one knows how relationships will end, loads of reasons why someone might end up raising a child on their own.

This is completely your decision but what I would say is make sure you have a good support network around you if you decide to raise a baby on your own. I love my dd to pieces but my god is she hard work. And having my oh with me through it all has really stopped me going insane. Basically having someone to share the childcare is a BIG help. Otherwise it is completely your choice but I wouldn't make any rash decisions before you've seriously thought about it. Good luck