Unplanned pregnancy.. advice.

[Mags128]

I'm 24 been in a relationship for 9 months and recently found out I'm pregnant. Very unexpected, I was on Levest birth control and I'm trying to decide what to do. I know the father would stay, but I don't know if I'm ready. I still feel so selfish, I like my nights in watching TV and free time to go anywhere and do anything.. holidays and I still have to learn how to drive. I looked through the abortion process and it's horrible and I just don't think I could do it. I'm so scared and confused.. I'd really like some helpful advice..

Hi! I'm 24 as well. Found out about my very unexpected little surprise in February. Had only been with my boyfriend 5 weeks at the time, as we met in January. Was terrified to tell him at first, and wasn't sure what I'd do if he wasn't supportive but once I told him, it was so easy. We talked everything through and now we are both so excited. He's going to support me through learning to drive while it's still early enough and we're booking a holiday for the summer (sun sea and a severe lack of sangria)The only person who can make any decisions about it is you, you're the only one who'll know what's right for you. It's terrifying and not easy ❤️

Only you can decide. The abortion process (surgical at least) is very simple but that's not really part of the decision, it's whether you are ready to be a mum. I was your age and we had our dd, and married but I still wonder what my life would have been like, just occasionally (today in fact) incredibly different I know. Do you have people to confide in? Don't rush it, do whatever is right for you.

Everyone will always have an opinion on abortion but the decision is yours and your partners only

Just think it through and keeping talking about it so you can make the right decision for you both

My friend had an abortion at 22 and she’s now 30 just had a beautiful baby boy.
She wasn’t ready at the time and in a bad relationship, completely different situation now.
She still feels guilty about it but it was the right choice for her at the time
It sounds like you have a supportive partner it just worries about the lifestyle change..
you’ll be suprised how quick you adjust

When you’ve not planned something and it just Happens it feels of your control so can imagine it’s pretty scary for you

Instead of thinking it’s going to stop you from doing things just think that it will just put things on hold for a while then it’s up to you if you want to wait or do certain things in life first

Good luck with whichever you chose

For what it's with, I'm 32 and only learning to drive in the last twelve months - a driving licence doesn't make you a good mum /adult!

There's never a "right" time to have a baby, and some times are worse than others. Only you will know how you feel about termination. It's your body and your choice. Either way, you can be strong and get through anything with the right help - whether you continue pregnancy is your call

Are you worried about giving up your time and life for a baby? I'm so so scared of making the wrong choice and regretting it forever..

Yeah I'm worried about giving things up, but I suppose I can still do all those things it'll just take more advance planning... once we got over the initial shock and talked it through we both decided the things we'd give up will be so worth it.
if you aren't totally set on termination maybe it'd be best not to put yourself through it. But it's totally your choice and if it's what's best for you only you'll know. Have you talked any of it through with your partner? It might help because odds are he'll have a lot of the same concerns as you and you can make a decision together

I think that to some extent all new mums worry about the life they’re giving up! No matter how old they are and how ready to have a baby they are. These feelings are completely normal, and a new life with your baby soon becomes the new normal too. For what it’s worth, I’ve got two children, work part time, have a small side business and still have time to watch TV, keep up with my favourite shows, and read books!

I'm definitely worried about what I'll miss! My husband and I love to travel but we won't be going on any grand trips anytime soon for example. However, we are ok with what what our lives will become.

Are there any fertility counselling services you can access locally?

I was never maternal. I preferred animals to be honest!

I married at age 35. DH already had 2 children. I didn't 'yearn' for a baby. We were quite happy with our lifestyle. But we decided to stop contraception to see what happened.... Leave it to fate.

Our son was born in 1992. I would NEVER have realised what an absolute miracle a child is. Wouldn't change a thing.

Do you have family support ?
Big decision to make but I'm sure you will make the right one for you. Good luck.

I nust admit I get moments when I worry what I'm doing and if I'm ready to do it, I'm 28 and I've always wanted to be a mum, it's the one thing in life I was always sure of and knew I always wanted but the moment I found out I was pregnant I started panicking.
Theres never going to be a perfect time for a baby, but then if you don't feel ready then maybe your not?
It's one of those things that people can talk to you about till ur ear falls off, but in the end it's all up to you and only you can make the decision. Good luck.

Thank you.. I am very lost right now and feel like it's not really happening to me. I didn't want kids until I met my partner and I work in care.. watching women die with no one and speaking to women who are decades older than me saying how it's their greatest achievement.. just makes me full of love. Knowing I can give an amazing life to my child is something I don't want to pass up. It's just my age and how I'm still so self involved worries me I might lose my identity and not be able to cope..

Oh OP 😞 FWIW I’m 26 and getting married in a few weeks. DP is 32 and we have literally everything set up to TTC. Nice owned house, £85k a year income, plenty of savings, we’ve talked about everything and...the closer it gets the more unready I feel!

I LOVE free time I worry I’ll be a selfish/disinterested parent. Worry it’ll ruin our (really lovely) relationship, that I’ll be sick for months and resent it. That I’ll feel too tied down and that I’m giving up pushing my career/ making it SOOO much harder for myself!

Whilst your situation is worse than mine because it’s ACTUALLY happening to you, I do think that a lot of people don’t feel ready. It’s SUCH a big decision that you’d have to be either completely set/desperate to start a family (I know a few women for who it’s everything) - or quite ignorant to not feel scared/overwhelmed!

You need to make the decision for yourself though, nobody else can xx