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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

My mother is weird about maternity clothes

41 replies

Greenlegobox · 31/03/2019 11:41

My mother thinks that any clothes worn during maternity should do as much as possible to cover the bump. She thinks anything which shows it is a bit off. I've turned up for lunch wearing a stretchy long sleeved t shirt thing over maternity jeans. It's not too small or anything. She's acting like I'm wearing something obscene. There's a family wedding next week. She wants me to wear the equivalent of a tent! Anyone experienced this before? My bump is pretty big as I'm 8 months pregnant and this is my second child.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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hurricaneinallkindsofweather · 31/03/2019 11:51

Women used to be confined to the home during the later stages of pregnancy, so nobody had to see them in their obscene state and feel uncomfortable about it. That sort of view is generally seen as out dated.

BaronessBomburst · 31/03/2019 11:52

Have you got a cropped top you can wear?

Ohyesiam · 31/03/2019 11:53

Is she Queen Victoria?
I would chuckle every time she said something, she’s joking , right?

burritofan · 31/03/2019 11:54

And some sparkly disco pants to go with, maybe a bit of neon rave body paint on the bump?

Original poster

Greenlegobox · 31/03/2019 11:56

Bikini and body paint sound about right. It's my brother's wedding. She's in a right fizz over it.

OP posts:

AnnaMagnani · 31/03/2019 12:02

How old is your DM? This is what maternity clothes used to look like. Princess Di used to go out in a tent if you google her maternity wear.

You could try explaining that it is now impossible to buy tentwear as times have moved on and showing her a few things on the internet.

Or just ignoring her.

Original poster

Greenlegobox · 31/03/2019 12:07

She's in her late sixties. She suggested I just get something in a bigger size.

OP posts:

TooMinty · 31/03/2019 12:08

How old is your mum? My mum told me that maternity clothes in the 70s (when she was pregnant with me) were basically tents with sleeves that looked rubbish on everyone. Maybe your mum thinks you should suffer like she did! I'd go with the bikini and body paint idea...

Biancadelrioisback · 31/03/2019 12:13

Just tell her that you are growing a sodding human! You're not ashamed of your bump, nor should you be. And if she is then that says more about her than you

ForgivenessIsDivine · 31/03/2019 12:16

It's almost like the bump is visible evidence that you have had sex. Once the baby is out, you can go back to pretending you are a virgin again and that the baby was delivered by the stork.

Fairylea · 31/03/2019 12:17

Just wear a low cut top and have a massive cleavage instead

TheCraicDealer · 31/03/2019 12:20

I'd probably send her a link to Seraphine's dress selection and ask her what, if any, she considers appropriate given that none are in any way tent-like? Fashions have changed and it's simply not possible to buy the kind of styles she's talking about any more.

Hahaha ForgivenessIsDivine that reminds me of a bit in Graham Norton's autobiography where he says about when his (married) DSis announced she was pregnant- family were delighted but there was a bit of quiet embarrassment about the fact this was proof that she'd now definitely had sex.

BeeFarseer · 31/03/2019 12:22

Tell her quietly that she's being incredibly old-fashioned and that you would attract negative attention if you dressed the way she suggests, because times have moved on. And there is no way that you want to take attention away from the bride and your brother on their day, which is what would happen. Then ignore her and dress however you want to.

origamiunicorn · 31/03/2019 12:24

It's almost like the bump is visible evidence that you have had sex. Once the baby is out, you can go back to pretending you are a virgin again and that the baby was delivered by the stork.

Passmethecrisps · 31/03/2019 12:24

I remember my dad making a similar comment before I had children. He thought it was disgusting

During pregnancy however is when I have felt best about my body so I am damned sure I wasn’t covering it up. I had some fab dresses and tops which, in my view, flattered my bump and body.

I would completely ignore or just state that you wouldn’t be happy in a tent so forget it

b0bb1n · 31/03/2019 12:34

Lol my mum is the same. She kept commenting on how tight my work dresses were and saying I should be wearing baggy clothes. Whatever I wear the bump is going to be visible!

Original poster

Greenlegobox · 31/03/2019 22:15

Back from DMs house. I had to tell her that the tent is not an option for the wedding. She said, Oh, I thought you'd just get a bigger, size of a maxi dress, instead of buying an expensive maternity dress. Showed her the dress, she has a week to get used to it. My brother thinks it's hilarious.

OP posts:

Fishfingersandwichplease · 31/03/2019 22:22

Lol yes my mum was like this too - even offered to make me a smock!! Said she hated tight clothes on pregnant women - pretty much everything is tight when you are lugging a baby around inside you! I took no notice and wore what was comfy x

Topofthehills · 01/04/2019 08:03

I'm quite shocked tbh, but good for you for dealing with it in good humour.

Maybe plant some strategic pictures of Kate Middleton around the place? Pretty sure she didn't wear any tents, and also is generally not considered obscene.

ineedaholidaynow · 01/04/2019 08:09

I remember MIL telling me she worked for M&S in the 70s, when she became pregnant she was taken off the shop floor as they didn’t make a maternity uniform as they didn’t think it was right for customers to see staff pregnant!

Bagpuss5 · 01/04/2019 08:14

I get DM's views. This is how it was in those days. Just because times have changed doesn't mean it's wrong. When you're 60 I'm sure there will be many of your ideas that your DCs mock. But it would be nicer to be understanding.

Footle · 01/04/2019 10:19

I was pregnant with my first child around 1970. I wore a blue Mothercare trouser suit thing with a stretchy front. I was on a train and saw on the platform a young woman in dungarees that fitted closely round her huge bump. I was fascinated and very envious. It was very unusual to see bumps so clearly.

Zippetydoodahzippetyay · 01/04/2019 10:36

@Bagpuss5 but why does being understanding only go one way? Shouldn't her Mum be understanding of the fact that times have changed and that her daughter is an adult who has a right to choose to dress according to her own comfort and current standards?

TansyViola · 01/04/2019 10:52

Isn't it odd that they thought a baby bump was something to be embarrassed about and hide away. So glad we've moved on!

HumpHumpWhale · 01/04/2019 10:57

I know this is missing the point, but I LOVE a visible bump. I think fitted clothes over a lovely pregnant belly look great.

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