When to tell work - time off for appointments

[Leleophants]

I'm only 8 weeks and have already been off work due to sickness. I have my booking appointment on the day of a big meeting. I'm finding it hard to think of other reasons for why I can't attend as I've been told it can be up to 2 hours! Is it too soon to tell my manager?

I'm also wondering what the reason is to NOT tell work? Advice please!

I told my employer quite early when I was around 6 weeks. Mainly cause I was sick at work and secondly if something happened I could have support and understanding from my employer. I don’t think pregnancy should be hidden but that’s just my opinion.

@Xyzzzzz I also told my employer at 6 weeks with DD.

This is so different I keep being told to wait until 12 weeks. How did they take it and did everyonr find out? I still haven't told all family yet.

Everyone told me to wait until 12 weeks. At 8 weeks I had signs of miscarriage so had to leave work early, I just told management the truth and asked them to keep it quiet until I passed the 12 week mark. My boss was over the moon for me and was extremely supportive. It’s so much easier when they know.

I told my manager at 6 weeks, she's been incredibly supportive of me and made it as easy as possible for me to go to appointments and stuff. She has also not told anyone else other than hr, as it isn't necessary at this point. I don't think pregnancy needs to be a secret, plus I know of something goes wrong I want my manager to be understanding of my need to recover from that.

I told my manager as soon as I found out because I have a very physical job that involves using cytotoxic chemicals so I had to tell her so I could avoid these tasks. She's been super supportive.

People say wait till 12 weeks because of the risk of MC, but surely even in that situation it's better for your boss to know so they can accommodate you needing time off to heal physically and mentally?

My mangers are mainly male and were really supportive. I had an early bleed too and they were great.

I also told at 6 weeks that had been helpful the last time when I had a MMC at nine weeks my
Boss was understanding

I told my manager at about 6 weeks, and also my colleague who I shared an office with. It meant I could be honest if feeling unwell. I didn't announce it 'officially' until 12 weeks.

It sounds like you're already stressing about your absences so I would be honest and tell your manager.

If you tell work you are having pregnancy related appointments or are off for pregnancy related illness,work cant say anything by law

I told my boss at about 6 weeks, then held off telling anyone else until I'd had my 12 week scan ☺️

Personally I'd reschedule the booking in appt.

Like SBB said! If you're having pregnancy related illness I would tell them ASAP because you're protected by law.

I told my supervisor straight away (if I had miscarried she would have needed to know why I was off) but didn't tell rest of office until 12 weeks and told hr formally after 18 week scan. My supervisor was lovely, which considering 3 others were pregnant out of 16 or so was not a given, none of us returned either (I was begged and offered my nursery fees paid)

I'd definitely tell work. Any pregnancy related sick, time off and appointments are covered by law so your protected. Your manager should also keep it to themselves as it's personal information.

Lots of people don't tell until 12 weeks because the risk of miscarriage etc but I think work is often ten exception. Because you need time off for appointments and if you are having a hard one it's better they know and can support you.

I had to tell work last time at 6 weeks because of bleeding etc. Made it much easier when I needed time off for scans and appointments

Ideally tell your manager straight away but ask them to keep it confidential until you are ready to announce it to the rest of your colleagues.

With my first pregnancy I waited until 22 weeks but that's because I was going for a big internal promotion then starting the new job and I didn't want anything to damage my chances!

I took annual leave for appointments until after the 12 week scan. I had 2 mc last year and I didn’t want to tell anyone at work.

Thanks for all this advice - starting to think maybe telling work isn't the worst idea! I can't change the booking appointment as it has been a massive headache to get already and I'll already be over 10 weeks.

I'll think over it this weekend and think I'll tell them next week! If I do - I'll let you know how it goes!

People say wait till 12 weeks because of the risk of MC, but surely even in that situation it's better for your boss to know so they can accommodate you needing time off to heal physically and mentally?

Assuming you don't have a boss who won't hold the fact that you're TTC against you, which is unfortunately not the case for many of us. Your employment rights are protected whilst pregnant, but not if you then suffer an MC - at which point your boss may have your card marked.

Sorry, I worded that wrong - assuming you have a boss who won't hold it against you.

I'm 20 weeks and have still only told my direct line manager. They approve medical appointments so no need for me to tell HR yet. I'm planning on letting HR/colleagues know after my 20 week scan next week.

I haven't wanted to say anything because I don't want every conversation during tea breaks/lunch to be about pregnancy/children/childbirth/etc.... everyone has a story/opinion!

I ended up telling my manager and the team I work closely with at 6 weeks as I was so sick and needed to eat all the time. I wanted to wait but realistically they would all need to know if I miscarried, my manager for absence reasons and my team because I think it would have taken me a long time to get over it and I'd need their support and understanding. We told our parents and in laws at 9 weeks after an early scan at 8, and everyone else after 12 weeks.

I told my manager the day after I found out. We are really close though and sickness at my work is monitored really closely so I didn't want to get to a situation where I had loads of time off and get into trouble. They were so supportive and I explained it was early days and anything could happen. It was a good job I told them as I ended up having loads of time off and several stays in hospital and other managers commented on it but they just said they were aware and dealing with it.

You could hold off telling them until you absolutely have to. It does depend on your work and relationship with your manager though.

As I said I'm close with my managers and told them when I go back to work to expect me to have another lot of maternity leave as soon as. My immediate manager said "well, it's not for me to say but I think it's best to have children close together". I've been there 20 years though so having 2 lots of maternity leave isn't a problem for them. I digress.....

I told my manager at 15w. Was able to move appointments around to make them work and not clash with meetings. I had an mmc in November at 11w, a few days off and a few hospital check ups - just informed my boss I had been called into the hospital following an unusual test result and follow up treatment. You don't have to explain your full medical situation.

As @PowerslidePanda says, I didn't want my boss to know I was TTC, it can take so long and I didn't want them to hold it against me. I know legally they can't but in reality it isn't that simple.

It's completely up to you when you tell them, what you're comfortable with, whether there's h&s implications etc...

@PowerslidePanda I think that's my concern that they'll then be aware I'm ttc. So there are a couple of things I want to progress in I'm concerned about. Similarly when I'm feeling fine it's nice not to be treated differently and deal with the thoughts at my own pace.