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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Due date is in 3 days and I’m sick of my boyfriend

11 replies

Idontknow777 · 26/03/2019 15:23

Idk what to do...

On one hand I love my boyfriend, I appreciate that he works hard to pay for our house, bills, and other expenses. I appreciate having those things, if we didnt live together I’d have no one else to stay with

On the other, he’s really irrresponsible, moody, uses me as an emotional punching bag, and probably one of the laziest ppl I’ve met.

My due date is March 30 and once a week for the past month we’ve gotten into really bad fights. He takes his anger out on me. He plays poker for a living; and when he doesn’t go well he gets really
Moody and takes it on me. I’m always there for him & use up all my emotional energy to make him feel better. But I’m going into labor any day. I have no time to cater to my own needs; and I’m so spent.

Day before my 39 week appt &!ultrasound he threw a huge fit over poker stuff and acted like it was my fault. Before then I had been crying for two hours to myself in our room just about some personal stuff I’ve been emotional about. Then I have to be his punching bag. Then next morning I put headphones in while I was getting ready for the dr and w/e bc I’m tryin to stay positive and he’s moaping aroind then asks me “do I have to come” and moaps like a baby so I said forget it I’d rather go alone then deal with u n he got very mad. I live an hr from the hospital; and onnhe back I get stuck in traffic and it takes almost 2 hrs to get home; and I had to do that drive by myself whn my due date is in 3 days. Since I was so stressed the baby wasn’t moving during the ultrasound and they had to use a vibrator/thing to make her move and it was just rlly
Scared to do that alone.

I texted him to
Explain how I felt and he said sorry when I got
Home he didn’t care n played video games and talked through a headset and drank beer till 5am. I woke up with nightmare sweats, trouble breathing, etc bc the whole night since I was anxious and keeping track of my baby
Movements scared that my stres is going to kill her. I couldn’t sleep because our house is small and he was yelling on the headset till 5am .. imchusr exhuated

All I wanted was a couple days to get strong for labor ajenhave things be about me but thy can’t. I’ve already asked my mom to drive me to the hospital bc I can’t rely on him and she lives an hr away it will take us
More than 2 hours to get therrr if she has to drive me and I’m scared.

On a completely orher side of things, I don’t want my newborn baby unable to sleep hc her dad is playing video games all night. N other reasons why I don’t like his lifestyle n want my
Baby raised around it. He throws temper tantrums is a really picky/unhealthy eater blah blah/

Idk what to do.

OP posts:
burritofan · 26/03/2019 15:33

he works hard... he plays poker for a living
Not that hard, then.

Honestly, the only thing you've put in your pro column is that he is earning. In the con column is literally everything else. If he hasn't changed at this stage of gestation he's not going to miraculously improve after the birth.

Can you go and live with your mum instead of this manchild?

Idontknow777 · 26/03/2019 15:35

I know. That’s what scares me.

And I cant. Her husband chain smokes inside and she has a bunch of cats. It’s extremely unclean for me to live there never mind a newborn. She has too many cats and won’t get rid of them and her husband won’t stop smoking inside, I tried for a long time to make them change but that’s how they live.

OP posts:
QforCucumber · 26/03/2019 15:46

Are you on maternity leave at the moment?

Idontknow777 · 26/03/2019 15:51

No I quit my job when I got rreally sick for 3 weeks probably the flu everyone at work was sick and coughing on me my bosss didn’t care I was pregnant and was making me working 6 days 9 he shifts and asking me to come in on my day off and being really disrespectful I’ve Been out of work 2-3 months I have 0 money

OP posts:
ItsalmostSummer · 26/03/2019 15:56

Yeah but the cats and a smoker seem much better than staying with your boyfriend. I know what I’d choose.

burritofan · 26/03/2019 15:57

Oh, I recognise you from previous threads now! Sorry, my advice hasn't changed: cats and smoking at your mum's house will still be a better environment than living with this dude.

ItsalmostSummer · 26/03/2019 15:59

I am sorry it’s that hard. Do you really want to stay with him? Maybe that’s s better approach. It sounds really hard. Can you have a room to yourself and the baby, at your mums? Keep the cats out and just you and the baby use it. I’d probably try that TBH.

Idontknow777 · 26/03/2019 15:59

It’s not . Trust me.

It’s not just a couple cats and smoke. Irs a serious health hazard. It smells awful, and I can’t take a shower and go somewhere without feeling dirty. Some of the cats urinate on things. They aren’t clean.

OP posts:
Idontknow777 · 26/03/2019 16:01

I can’t live there I dontt think you’d be able to understand how bad it is. I won’t even go there and be inside for 15 min it’s a health hazard and is really rreally dirty

OP posts:
Prettyvase · 26/03/2019 16:01

Not ideal to love a person who cares so little about you and who is too selfish to care about the child you have made together!

You need to work on providing a safe and secure, peaceful and loving environment in which to live and bring up a baby.

This has to be your priority now doesn't it?

You want the best possible life for you and your little one so you need to start making steps to get out of the hell hole you are in.

burritofan · 26/03/2019 16:12

OK. I think you need to let go of the idea that this man is your boyfriend or a partner or is going to provide any support whatsoever. Is your mum emotionally supportive (cat pee notwithstanding)?

Your choices are: stay in the place where you have a roof over your head, with no support, while trying to find a job & childcare so you can escape. This might be the better option if you can lower your expectations of this man, and arrange for family & friends to visit and help.

Or go to the health hazard place. Would your mum clean out a room & agree to you keeping the door shut at all times so it's a cat-free zone? And the baby stays in there with you, away from the grossness?

Failing that, do you have any family or friends you can go to, a shelter, a church or charity who can help...? I seem to remember you're in the US so I'm not sure what you're entitled to.

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