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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

please help-reassurance needed :(

13 replies

superman24 · 26/03/2019 04:40

Hi everyone,

I need some reassurance. My pregnancy was unplanned. I took an overdose on antidepressants the day before I found out at 4 weeks, and had been smoking a lot of weed, cigarettes and drinking. By week 6 I cut all that out. But during the pregnancy:

-I've had antenatal anxiety and depression symptoms, and in th first trimester had meltdowns that could have got me sectioned. Yelling, screaming, lashing out to the extreme. These were so bad, I had to rest the next day all day! I have cried (big sobbing fits) quite a bit, detached occasionally and have felt so anxious I could pass out. the world just seems so dark atm.
. I constantly get invasive & dark thoughts.
Lots of arguing with my family has happened throughout the pregnancy too.

  • have a really dysfunctional stressful relationship with Baby's father. yelling matches, throwing things etc. He is very unwell, and is doing more drugs than ever to cope with the pregnancy which worries me greatly.. don't see him often but when he does he smokes cigarettes & weed around me. I have decided to no longer see him as his house is a toxic greenhouse of chemicals. Found out recently when I was 3 months (we were off at this pt) he had a sexual encounter with another woman. This has caused a lot of crying. the fact I may have to apply for sole custody soon if things don't change also weighs on me.
  • get little more than 3 hrs unbroken sleep a night, just feel generally negative and down. I see a therapist, take antidepressants, eat well, drink 2L water, try to do meditation regularly, walk 2-3km a day and trying to get a positiveHi everyone,

I need some reassurance. My pregnancy was unplanned. I took an overdose on antidepressants the day before I found out at 4 weeks, and had been smoking a lot of weed, cigarettes and drinking. By week 6 I cut all that out. But during the pregnancy:

-I've had antenatal anxiety and depression symptoms, and in th first trimester had meltdowns that could have got me sectioned. Yelling, screaming, lashing out to the extreme. These were so bad, I had to rest the next day all day! I have cried (big sobbing fits) quite a bit, detached occasionally and have felt so anxious I could pass out. the world just seems so dark atm.
. I constantly get invasive & dark thoughts.
Lots of arguing with my family has happened throughout the pregnancy too.

  • have a really dysfunctional stressful relationship with Baby's father. yelling matches, throwing things etc. He is very unwell, and is doing more drugs than ever to cope with the pregnancy which worries me greatly.. don't see him often but when he does he smokes cigarettes & weed around me. I have decided to no longer see him as his house is a toxic greenhouse of chemicals. Found out recently when I was 3 months (we were off at this pt) he had a sexual encounter with another woman. This has caused a lot of crying. the fact I may have to apply for sole custody soon if things don't change also weighs on me.
  • get little more than 3 hrs unbroken sleep a night, just feel generally negative and down. I see a therapist, take antidepressants, eat well, drink 2L water, try to do meditation regularly, walk 2-3km a day and trying to get a positive mindset but I feel it's not enough. I feel I've ruined my baby & given them a bad start in life with all the toxin exposure and stress

I just need some reassurance everything will be ok, or just some stories I can relate to. I feel so scared and alone :( mindset but I feel it's not enough. I feel I've ruined my baby & given them a bad start in life with all the toxin exposure and stress

I just need some reassurance everything will be ok, or just some stories I can relate to. I feel so scared and alone :(

OP posts:
Original poster
superman24 · 26/03/2019 04:41

Hi everyone,

I need some reassurance. My pregnancy was unplanned. I took an overdose on antidepressants the day before I found out at 4 weeks, and had been smoking a lot of weed, cigarettes and drinking. By week 6 I cut all that out. But during the pregnancy:

-I've had antenatal anxiety and depression symptoms, and in th first trimester had meltdowns that could have got me sectioned. Yelling, screaming, lashing out to the extreme. These were so bad, I had to rest the next day all day! I have cried (big sobbing fits) quite a bit, detached occasionally and have felt so anxious I could pass out. the world just seems so dark atm.
. I constantly get invasive & dark thoughts.
Lots of arguing with my family has happened throughout the pregnancy too.

  • have a really dysfunctional stressful relationship with Baby's father. yelling matches, throwing things etc. He is very unwell, and is doing more drugs than ever to cope with the pregnancy which worries me greatly.. don't see him often but when he does he smokes cigarettes & weed around me. I have decided to no longer see him as his house is a toxic greenhouse of chemicals. Found out recently when I was 3 months (we were off at this pt) he had a sexual encounter with another woman. This has caused a lot of crying. the fact I may have to apply for sole custody soon if things don't change also weighs on me.
  • get little more than 3 hrs unbroken sleep a night, just feel generally negative and down. I see a therapist, take antidepressants, eat well, drink 2L water, try to do meditation regularly, walk 2-3km a day and trying to get a positive mindset but I feel it's not enough. I feel I've ruined my baby & given them a bad start in life with all the toxin exposure and stress

I just need some reassurance everything will be ok, or just some stories I can relate to. I feel so scared and alone :(

OP posts:
grincheux · 26/03/2019 04:57

Hi OP, I didn't want to read and run. Your situation sounds serious - are you working with a mental health team at the moment?

grincheux · 26/03/2019 17:27

Are you ok?

Baconcob · 26/03/2019 17:42

Does your midwife know all this? What support are you getting? Are you seeing a mental health team?

Your partner sounds completely unstable and I don’t think your baby needs that in their life. You need to be thinking about the best examples and role models your baby can have in their life.

Angelinthenightx · 26/03/2019 19:12

I would go see your midwife they are lovely and will help u with your problems and she may want to put you for a early scan.

Rememberallball · 26/03/2019 19:22

Please speak to your midwife as they can refer you urgently to the perinatal mental health team to get you some much needed support and help xx

Tinekittie2 · 27/03/2019 08:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sessy19 · 27/03/2019 09:22

@Tinekittie2, I realise that you think you are helping, but a post where a woman is asking for reassurance that she could have a healthy and happy baby, whilst explaining her rather complicated and possibly overwhelming mental health issues, is NOT the place for you to showcase your knowledge and social modelling acumen.

You have no way of physically confirming that what you have said has not done completely the opposite of what she’s asking for. Yours was a really thoughtless post.

She’s vulnerable. She’s upset and scared. And she’s asking for REASSURANCE. Not your version of a solution with justification.

Tinekittie2 · 27/03/2019 09:49

@Sessy19, I appreciate what you're saying and OP's baby will most likely be born healthy so I hope she is reassured by that.

As someone with a mother who was under a great amount of stress and smoked while pregnant, I live with the consequences of her choices. Had she been aware that those choices could impact me in my middle age, she would have taken better care of herself and probably made more of an effort to ensure a healthier lifestyle after I was born. We can't change the past, but we can make sure we do the very best in the future and I hope knowing a bit about the fetal origins of disease will help OP do that after she gets help. My intention was not to make her more anxious or guilty, and I apologise if that has been the result.

Sessy19 · 27/03/2019 10:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
superman24 · 29/03/2019 08:23

Hi tinekittie,
I didn't actually see your original message but I am guessing it was something along the lines of I will impact my baby with my actions.
I posted this to outline that I am actually doing EVERYTHING I can but am still very scared. I do therapy, take antidepressants, stick to a healthy diet, etc etc and have stopped seeing my ex. I only wanted reassurance that my baby would be okay.

OP posts:
Original poster
superman24 · 29/03/2019 08:27

I also study early childhood development (surprised?) and understand that genetics works greatly with environments. Imapct in middle age would not solely be from a stressful pregnancy. I would be curious to know what kind of environment was provided for you after the birth?
I believe I can provide a very strong upbringing-I have my own house, and I do have support, and I believe I am a very nurturing person dealing with a very complicated situation.

OP posts:
LuckyLou7 · 29/03/2019 08:49

Please talk to your midwife about your concerns and ask for support with your mental health. Don't reconcile with your ex-partner. You need to put yourself and your unborn baby first and leave him to face his own demons.

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