Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

Skiing retreat at 10 weeks pregnant - help!

20 replies

secretlyhermione · 21/03/2019 08:33

Hi everyone :)
This is call for help... My company has organised a retreat next week and just told us yesterday that it will involve skiing, ice skating and sledging, all things that frankly at 10 weeks pregnant at that point I'd rather avoid! I work for a small company and my boss has been planning this for months, buying all the gear etc, but only did the big reveal yesterday, and while I would be ecstatic in any other circumstance, am definitetly not ecstatic now.... I don't feel ready yet to tell him or other colleagues that I'm pregnant as I still think it's too soon. So I guess my question is what should I do? The option of not going frankly doesn't exist, as he made us all commit to the dates, but I was thinking I could tell him I have a private medical condition I prefer not to disclose and that I unfortunately have to sit out on those events. Obviously I'll have to ward off hundreds of questions from colleagues (we're a close knit bunch) but that's the least of my worries right now. Anyone been in a similar situation or have some good advice to share as in what white lie I could get away with?? All help appreciated - retreat is next Wednesday so I need to move quickly.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ChaosMoon · 21/03/2019 08:44

Oh what a nightmare. Not been in that situation myself but I can imagine just how hard it would be, particularly if, like me, you'd normally love all that stuff.

I can only really see three options (but maybe others would have more ideas)

Tell him you're pregnant early. I completely understand not feeling ready but, if the worst happened, would you need to tell anyway? If so, this would be the option of go for.

As you suggested, claim another medical reasons and get ready for the questions. Which may include "are you pregnant?". If you go with this one, if consider thinking of a reason that you can vocal about. How good are you at faking a limp?

Call in sick. And I say this as someone who struggles to call in sick when I am sick. Personally I'd hate to do it but I wouldn't judge someone else for doing it under the circumstances.

Sorry secretlyhermione, I realise none of these are great.

scaredofthecity · 21/03/2019 08:48

Just tell him, you've been pushed into a corner and you don't have a lot of choice. He'll find out soon anyways.

Yes it's not ideal, but that's the way pregnancy goes.

BendingSpoons · 21/03/2019 08:50

Personally I would just tell him but say you aren't telling others yet. People might guess but that's not the end of the world.

Otherwise sprained wrist or ankle?

Fortheloveofscience · 21/03/2019 08:51

Personally I think that if you’re away for a week it’s safer if someone you’re with knows you’re pregnant, skiing or no skiing.

If you tell him that you were hoping not to say yet and you don’t want anyone else to know, can you trust him to keep it secret?

BendingSpoons · 21/03/2019 08:52

Also to add, personally I would think odds are good that all are fine with the pregnancy. If the worst happened, I would tell my boss anyway, as likely to need time off or at least a bit of slack for a few days.

BikeRunSki · 21/03/2019 08:53

Tell him, but ask for discretion in not telling others.

Karigan195 · 21/03/2019 08:54

To be honest I think coming clean is the only way out without it appearing off to the boss.

Alternative sprain your ankle really badly and hobble on crutches for the whole of the trip.....

SnowdropFox · 21/03/2019 08:54

Another option would be to say you went over on your ankle and don't think you can join in for fear of making it worse? Fake a limp for a day or two!

Honestly, I would have joined in the ice skating and skiing. I've never skiied so it's not like I'd be doing anything hard-core. My usual cycle would probably been more risky

YouBumder · 21/03/2019 08:54

I’d just tell him in confidence. If you’re going to be away I think it’s a good idea for someone to know anyway just in case.

Nameusernameuser · 21/03/2019 08:54

You might need to for insurance purposes.

juneau · 21/03/2019 08:55

I'd tell him, one on one, and ask him to keep it a secret from everyone else. Otherwise, you risk upsetting your boss, particularly when you then announce 'Ta-da! I'm pregnant' in another few weeks. Sometimes circumstances mean that you have to share the news before you want to, but otherwise you risk looking underhand.

Original poster

secretlyhermione · 21/03/2019 09:40

Hi everyone,
Thank you so much for all your comments and advice! I was really leaning on the private medical thing, but after having talked to my sister as well, I think I will come clean and tell him. Unfortunately it has to be done over the phone as he is away the next few days. I will ask for complete discretion. Not super happy to tell this early but as you all said, you can't plan these things sometimes (and I hate lying, so honesty does seem like the best policy in this case). The retreat is actually only two days but it will be predominantly sports stuff that I feel is too risky to do at this stage. Thank you so much!

OP posts:

Original poster

secretlyhermione · 21/03/2019 09:58

Update: I told him and he took it very well :) Phew, feel glad that's off my chest. Thank you again!

OP posts:

anniehm · 21/03/2019 14:01

Whilst I understand that it worries you but many people ski when pregnant (obviously stick to nursery slopes if you aren't experienced). Otherwise your best option is to let the boss know, you are quite close to the stage where you would be telling people and it would save a lot of lies.

eightoclock · 21/03/2019 14:05

I wouldn't have thought there's any risk to the baby from doing activities at 10 weeks - it'll still be protected inside the pelvis.
So unless you feel too tired/sick just go along and join in if you feel like it

misstime · 21/03/2019 14:22

I went skiing at 12 weeks earlier this year. Took it a bit easier on the slopes than I normally would and had a great time! I spoke to my midwife and consultant about it before I went and they said it would be fine as baby is really protected so early on. Glad I got to enjoy one last week of skiing with children!

Original poster

secretlyhermione · 21/03/2019 15:37

Thank you :) I am not a skieer (I've only gone once in my life) and so I don't want to risk it... it is also cross country skiing so quite strenous. I feel better "missing out." Of course the rumours have already started swirling in the office but I'm keeping to my story of "private medical reasons"! Funnily it's my male colleague that has gotten it more correct... the women don't assume anything. Until my 12 week scan my partner and I promised to only tell select people... obviously my boss was not supposed to be one of them but hey, you can't plan it all!

OP posts:

DeRigueurMortis · 21/03/2019 16:20

If it's any consolation I also had to tell work at around the same time as you.

My job involved a lot of international travel (which I didn't object to doing whilst not in my last trimester in Europe at least) that was being booked/scheduled months in advance - basically I was responsible for the on-site final phase implementation of year+ long projects.

I'd been put up for a project in US that would have had me away from home for 2 months whilst 7 months pregnant.

Like you say I hadn't planned on telling work so soon, but my Manager and HR were brilliant and actually very grateful I'd given them a heads up and absolutely respected the need for discretion (I hadn't even told my own parents at this point!).

So I'm glad it's worked out for you and think you did the right thing - posting really to reassure you that it's not an uncommon situation.

If people speculate - just let them get on with it. It won't be long before you choose to tell them anyway.

Finally - many congratulations

Original poster

secretlyhermione · 21/03/2019 17:02

@DeRigueurMortis thank you, it def helps to know that other women have been in this position! I also haven't told my parents yet... They live abroad and I'm going to tell them over Easter, hence it's doubly hard telling people like my boss who shouldn't really get priority, but as you said, unfortunately it's a necessity. That being said I feel like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and he took the news well and so that makes me feel better too. Now just hope everything continues to go smoothly :)
Congrats to you as well (not sure if this was a recent thing or more in the past) but in any case :)

OP posts:

DeRigueurMortis · 21/03/2019 17:15

No not recent for me

I'm currently trying to find a driving instructor for my not so little bundle of joy ...😂😂😂

Flip