Connecting with 2nd pregnancy/baby

[legalseagull]

Please go easy as this is causing me a lot of upset and stress.

A year ago I had my first DC. The entire pregnancy was so exciting and all encompassing. I did all the yoga, bought magazines, had names planned and outfits bought. I was SO excited to give birth.

I'm now due my second and my overwhelming feeling is fear. Fear I can't possibly love the child like my first. Fear that the pregnancy has flown by without even being acknowledged due to how busy I've been with 1st DC (less than a year old at the time) and work.

I'm so worried that my head hasn't even gotten round to being pregnant let alone that I'm going to have another baby in literally a matter of days. It was a planned pregnancy and I very much want two DC close in age but I'm so panicked I won't connect like I did with my first

Is this normal?! Am I a monster for even thinking it?!

No personal experience of this but I think it is a fairly normal feeling. Particularly the worry about being able to love the new baby as much as the first. But then they arrive and you find that you do and you have all this extra love to give. Please be kind on yourself.

Hey,
I’m Also going through this. Mine was planned and because it happened so quickly and hasn’t quite sunk in yet I worry about my other child feeling left out or replaced.. it’s sounds stupid doesn’t it! But I can’t help the way I feel. This pregnancy isn’t as exciting as my first. So I know how you feel xx

This was me! My children are 2 and 8 mos. The guilt I felt for having another baby was immeasurable & I worried about it so much. I needn't have. I'm lucky that there hasn't really been any jealously & #1 can't remember life without #2!

I also did all classes, read about baby's development constantly with my first & I could hardly remember how many weeks I was with my second!
Although I wasn't as "focused" prior to having #2 everything was really straightforward, birth, feeding, settling in at home etc. For me the biggest change was going from 0-1 children, the change from 1-2 has just required more organisation but the change has not felt as big - if that makes sense?

I've loved having two close together, my only sadness is that all of my pregnancies/babies are probably over now. Not keen on going for a third 😬

All will be well but I'd say it's natural to have these fears x

I’d say it was pretty normal!

I have a 2 year old and am due in June. I work pretty much full time and whereas the previous pregnancy was at the forefront of my mind all the time I couldn’t tell you how many weeks I am at the moment without checking the app on my phone!

If you are with you child all day then I can imagine it would be a lot harder as at least I get some down time at work! It’s helped for me that I’ve been able to talk to my daughter about the baby, tell her it’s a boy and the name we have picked out and she talks to him, whereas yours will be too young for this.

Also all the excitement and planning of outfits etc does consume a certain amount of energy and it’s in short supply for you with a very young one already!

Thank you everyone that really makes me feel better to know others have/are feeling the same!

I also think I MIGHT be in early labour, so I best get my head around it quick!

I really appreciate the pep talk x

I’m in a similar situation, OP! Feel so guilty that this pregnancy has been kind of “ignored” with everything else going on at the moment.

Tell us about your early labour? live birth thread!!

Same here too! 40+5 with DD2, whilst DD1 is 15 months.

I'm so ready to have this baby, but concerned that I won't love her as much as I do my first. I'm also worried how DD1 will cope without me whilst I'm in hospital. She's a real mummy's girl, and I hate the thought of her being upset if I'm not there to comfort her.

I'm currently 31 weeks with my DD and in the first few weeks I felt so guilty and even sad that I was doing this to my DS - I honestly felt I was going to ruin his life. Those feelings went after I had my 12 week scan but they're creeping back in now as time flies in and she'll be here soon. I just know I'm going to be a mess the night before I have her (I'm having an elective section). It's totally normal to feel this way OP.