Hiding doctors appointments

[Lumosknox]

I really don't want to tell anyone at work that I'm pregnant until 12 weeks but my first doctors appointment is in the middle of the day and I've been told it will last about an hour. I'd happily tell my boss but I don't really trust her to keep it completely to herself and then it will go round. I'm also not great at lying! Any advice?

Just say you have a Drs appt. What it’s for is nobodies business. We are on high alert when we’re pregnant but in reality nobody suspects.

Do you need to see dr in your area? In lots of areas you self refer straight to the midwife.

I'm booked in with a midwife at my doctors surgery. I think because I got married last year people often ask me if we're trying and if I'm having an off day I get lots of "Ooo you're not pregnant are you?" Maybe I will just try and pretend it's the dentist!

Yes just lie. I booked my 12 week scan with a private clinic at the weekend for this reason.

I took time off for the couple of appointments I had before I told work (and had one weekend appointment because they needed to squeeze a scan in)

The only thing I'd say about telling someone at work early is that you are then entitled to time off for appointments and any pregnancy sickness absence can't be held against you. I don't know how it works in the private sector but in teaching people tend to say something because being out during the school day has implications for the smooth running of the school (cover etc) and we are encouraged to make normal appointments out of hours or in hols. The minute somebody knows that ceases to be a headache, but obviously that's quite specific to education and I can understand why you might not want to if you don't have to.

I'm a teacher so this directly applies to me but the docs said they had nothing outside of school hours 😐 my head is one of those who will probs tell at least one person and then they'll do the same etc.

I know this sounds really bad, but if you have s young child at school.. could you call in and say their sick and you need a day off as you have noome at home to take care of them? Like pulling a sticky but blaming your child ha!

Do you actually need an appointment with the dr? I did to get referred but apparently in most areas now you self-refer straight to the midwife.

I'm not sure how far along you are but I am also a teacher and found that it was really helpful to have people know. If I needed to leave class for toilet/sick and also there are risk assessments that should be filled in when you are expecting - at the time my head asked me to make changes to class for my own safety . Also I really needed to eat during class at points which would obv be highly frowned upon but was fine as the people who needed to knew. I think in an environment like that pregnancy rarely comes as a shock for everyone but most people keep respectfully quiet!
Also not to be negative my second pregnancy was a MMC and I could have hid that/ kept it quiet anyway and work were very supportive - I didn't make it common knowledge on staff room but I expect most people know even though our families still don't.

Couldn't!!

Thanks for all your advice. This is my first so no child to say is ill but I'm thinking more and more that I might just tell my head and hope I can trust her!

And I think my appointment is with a midwife at my doctors surgery.

Just tell your head and say that you’re not ready to tell anyone else yet. They have to treat it as confidential so shouldn’t gossip about it.

Don’t quote me on this but I’m pretty sure as your head is your manager in a way they have a duty to maintain confidentiality.
I had to tell my team leader/manager person I was pregnant as I had an appointment during work hours and I just explained that we weren’t telling people yet. She said it wouldn’t go further than her and she’s been true to her word! In the same way you wouldn’t expect a serious illness diagnosis to be spread around, a pregnancy is still your private medical info and you have a right to confidentiality in that respect!

I would say the dentist or that it's just a doctors appointment for like an ingrown toe or something because I told my manager at 6weeks because of my job and I was really ill and I found out she told my sister (who already knew) and loads of people around town to the point my aunts found out and went mental at me for not telling them, it was that bad I had to put that I was pregnant on Facebook as some kind of damage control.

Tell your head.

Oh in that case yes you need to tell the head really as the cover person will undoubtedly get asked why you're on a doctors appointment for that long in the middle of the day. You will need your risk assessment doing too particularly for certain subjects.

I told my boss at 8 weeks so I could explain the need to go to the midwife appointment. I didn't have any trust issues with him at all but was still clear that he was the only person at work to know and that I was going to be telling anyone else until 12 week scan.
I felt that I needed to be upfront about the appointment but also if anything went wrong I would have needed his support and understanding and I felt that would be easier to achieve if i was honest. Also, as others have said, things like pregnancy related absences cannot be factored in in the way that non pregnancy related illness can be. My boss was really lovely and used to cover up some of my unusual behaviour (almost falling asleep at my desk, needing the loo every 5 mins etc). Congratulations by the way x