Prenatal depression

[amieeb]

So I'm currently 12 weeks pregnant and I'm not coping with everything very well. I know it's mostly hormones but I find myself sleeping from the minute I get in from work through till the morning. I have no interest in eating or doing anything, I feel really bad for my partner for having to pick up the slack and do everything for me. I can barely find the motivation to shower. I want to do well for my baby but I just can't cope. I cry most days whether it's because my back won't stop hurting or I feel sick or my partner has put something in the wrong place. I had heard lots about post natal depression but nothing about prenatal depression and I would just like some advice and some guidance on whether people think it's just the hormones or maybe something more

Have you a history of depression prior to pregnancy? Tell your midwife how you're feeling!

I felt (and feel) the same way. Remember you're dealing with a TON of hormones and you're making a human so you're bound to be exhausted, but it's inevitable there'll be some guilt/frustration bound up in not being able to do what you usually do. Plus you need to lie down and rest, but there's something about sleeping/resting all the time that's in itself depressing.

Basically it's a big boatload of stuff all at once and I don't think you can separate it out into "just hormones" vs "depressed". Do tell your midwife though – I felt better immediately after sobbing to mine :)

OP l had terrible prenatal depression with both my preganacies, neither my DH or l could understand what was going on as we had both wanted to have a baby for a long time, yet l was so bleak in my attitude to EVERYTHING.
All l wanted to do was sleep, and sleep some more..having never had depression before l was horrified by how bad l felt.

At my DD's birth, within an hour l could feel the black cloud lifting off me! it was unbelievable how tangible it was.
After despite the ups and downs of a newborn l coped really, really well as l felt back to normal again.

I fell unexpectedly pregnant with DS, 7 months later, and l knew as l felt the same feeling settle on me, several days before a test showed the pregnancy...and l really panicked.

But he was very much wanted so l decided to make life as easy as possible throughout the pregnancy, l got a daily dog walker, in case l didn't feel well enough to do long dog walks.
I got a cleaner so limited housework. Filled the freezer with ready meals as cooking made me feel violently sick, told DH not to expect anything of me, just to make his plans without me for going out.

Got DD into a really consistant sleep/nap routine.

Throughout the pregnancy l slept all the time DD slept, same naps and went to bed at the same time as her!(7.30pm) It was the best way for me to get through it. I basically looked after my DD and did nothing else except sleep for 9 months....but it was fine as the days passed much more easily than the first pregnancy, and DS was born by c section, healthy and well.

Again l felt the effects wear off within hours of my c section.

I remember shouting somewhat hysterically at DH, 'I did it , l never need to feel depressed again' I was so happy!!
Unsurprisingly l have not had a hangover since as l never want to feel sick or depressed ever again!

But my wonderful DCs are so worth those 9 months. Find out what makes it easier for you and prioritise it over all else. Count down the days, that helps.

100% tell your midwife asap!

I have a history of mental health and made them very clear when I fell pregnant and I'm under the care of the perinatal team. I can't fault them really, so the support is there if you need it.

Like you, I did not cope very well at all for the first trimester (23 weeks now) And all I did was cry and sleep. It got me off on the wrong foot for pregnancy completely. Everyone would be so pleased for me and all I could say is I HATE IT.
But your moods will lift, and you will have good times throughout and get your energy back.
Even if you have a 10 minute window of calmness, hang onto it. It will eventually turn into an hour, then a day, then a week.

I still have my moments, but I feel much more on top of it now being pregnant has actually had time to sink in. Pregnancy is not easy for everyone and it's ok if you don't enjoy it. When you allow yourself to feel like that it lifts the burden.

Tell your midwife and they will refer you to perinatal for guidance.

I completely understand - my OH has finally started to realise that he's not the reason that I cry most nights, bless him! There's no reason behind it, and I'm usually the most positive person. But not only has he picked up the cooking and cleaning, he also has to be the optimistic one for a change

Finding solace in hearing other women's stories, and knowing we're not alone in this. x

I'm 12 weeks now too and I've just started to acknowledge that these feelings of being down, lonely, lack of interest in doing things... are all probably down to depression and not me being silly or something.

I've told my partner I'm going to speak to the midwife at my first scan on Monday and I'm hoping they offer some support.
I enthusiastically turned it down at my 8 week booking in appointment (I've had MH issues in the past but have coped well since) and have a bit of anxiety that I'll annoy them by not having taken the help in the first place. But I'm pushing that to the back of my mind and trying to realise that it's better to ask for the help now, than in a few more weeks when I may be worse.

I hope you get the support you need.