Please help me to let oh know how dodgy the pull out method is for contraception?

[Tidyhomewannabe]

Ok , I am mid 30s with 3 children- I know that the pull out method is dodgy, however this post is more for my oh.
My oh does not want any more children , whereas I would happily have 1 more. I can’t take contraception and while vasectomy has been discussed, he doesn’t like the ‘idea’ of the op . I completely respect his decision to have no more children, however he keeps ‘dipping it in the ocean’ so to speak, I keep telling him he is playing a dangerous game, to which he replies ‘I’m in control and will never get to the finish line’ When I think I’m in my fertile window, I often push him off, but I’m an adult, and I know that it’s only a matter of time before I end up with my fourth baby. So I just wondered - is there anyone out there that’s had a ‘pull out baby’? I think associating people that it’s happened to rather than just stats will help him realise that it can and does happen.
I also want to add that he is an absolutely fantastic dad and if I did fall pregnant, I have no doubt whatsoever that we would stay together, but because I do love him and respect his feelings towards having another child, I really want him to realise that the pull out method is very risky !

I'm currently pregnant with one 😊 very risky business indeed. Ours wasn't a deffo no more kids ect so prop not as careful as other people

Yes. She is 17 now.

I wanted another one but not at that exact time which is why we were using that method. If I definitely didn't want another child, no way.

Does he know that sperm is released before he comes? Pre-cum. Even if you pulls out before he comes every time you can still get pregnant.

We have two, in the first i was on the pill but had been ill and I the second I was using a fertility monitor.He never finished inside but it still happened, it’s only a matter of time.

Why can't he wear a condom?

Why is he not wearing a condom and why are you not doubling up and using a diaphram?

No chemicals and no surgery with these methods

It happened to my friend at university. We were all horrified when she told us they'd been using the withdrawal method instead of proper contraception. During freshers' week we all had 'the talk' about sex, STDs, contraception etc. and the lecturer said that there's a word for people who use that method of contraception - parents!

When I had my implant inserted the nurse told me that the pull out method is only 10% less effective than condoms. I got pregnant using the withdrawal method 😂

I would just crack on OP, you want another and he is clearly not bothered or he’d put a condom on. Look forward to seeing you on the baby name threads soon “help me name my fourth dc”.

We successfully used pull out method for 6 years, being very careful on fertile days and I only got pg (on purpose) when we stopped.

DH has amazing control though due to scarring from a medical circumcision. So he may not be the best barometer!

You should only use it if you’re really really not bothered about having another baby, both of you.

Yes I know someone who got pregnant this way. Why not just use condoms?

We mix and matched condoms and withdrawal for a couple of years and I never got pregnant, but it took us 18 months of trying when we did stop using contraception so probably not a good example. We only did it because we would have been quite happy with an accidental pregnancy but he wasn't quite mentally ready to start trying. Have you made it 100% clear to DH that while you respect his decision to not have a 4th, you would keep the baby if you did fall pregnant? I'm just wondering if putting it in such clear terms will make you feel less responsible for the situation, whilst also maybe making him take it a bit more seriously. It's good that you respect that he doesn't want another but he should be the one responsible for that!

Yep, have to pick her up from school in a minute!

It's a risky game.

I will be taking screenshots and sending him the messages this evening once the kids go to bed, Thankyou for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate your comments.
To answer the contraceptive questions, I’ve tried numerous types over the years and have never found one that suits, I’m one of the annoying people that is allergic to everything, animal hair , dust, pollen, nickle, latex, alcohol in skincare products (thankfully not alcohol that you drink )
Oh knows that we would keep the baby if it happens, even though I have never brought it up - I think I may this evening along with showing the messages. I am sure he is aware of the risk, but he also seems to think we are less fertile because we are older again , not very reliable. I find that each month I don’t know whether I’m praying for AF to arrive or for it to not show up. It’s an emotional rollercoaster!

We used the withdrawal method for 10 years and was successful, but it really wouldn't have been a problem if it had failed and we were both ok with that.

Just to add I also have four children so it wasn't a problem with fertility, the withdrawal method just worked well for us.

however he keeps ‘dipping it in the ocean’...When I think I’m in my fertile window, I often push him off

Leaving aside the fact that your OH doesn't appear to know how babies are made, he sounds deeply unappealing.

Those who say the OPs partner is "deeply unappealing" 😂😂 are you married to the most handsome man ever or are you a multiple devorcy (obviously not your fault each time 🙄) why does her partner not being appealing to you matter??!

Just have a good talk to him OP he'll understand in the end, men can be slow on these things 😂

Hello
Bf and I used pull out method for 8 years-I’m pregnant for the first time now. So actually pretty reliable but yes this is a pull out baby tho when I told him I was pregnant and we worked out dayes he was like ‘yeah I did think I was a bit slow pulling out that night’ 🤦‍♀️

My nephew is the product of my brothers first attempt at the pull out method! Not tried it myself as I don’t like to take the risk!

Pull out method after a vasectomy plus contraceptive pill (admittedly missed a couple) = 4 weeks pregnant

Should also add vasectomy only done 8 weeks ago.

Amelia it was nice of him to give you the option of the MAP to avoid an unplanned pg due to his lateness.