Just found out I’m pregnant after an ectopic last year. Advice needed

[Faedawn]

So last October I was devastated to find out I was having an ectopic. It was a cervical ectopic and became quite a harrowing experience.
The only person who knew I was pregnant was my partner.
I just did three tests and I’m pregnant again. Today is the day I should have started my period.
I thought I was ready to try again.
Now I’m not sure

Forgive me but I’m so scared. What if it happened again?
I have done the math and I would be due in mid November.
My partner knows.
We did the test together.
I just feel so mixed up and confused.
I think I’m happy but I don’t know if I’m more upset than happy.
My head just feels messed up.
Has anyone else felt like this before or been in this position before?
Neither my partner or I have children. I’m almost 35
I don’t have any close females to discuss this with that’s why I’m on mums net.

Hi Congratulations! I had an ectopic in June last year I am now 22 weeks pregnant. Try not to stress too much I know its really hard but the chance of another ectopic is small! Make sure you contact epu to get an early placement scan at 6 weeks to put your mind at ease... The wait to find out is hard I know but just try to relax and keep busy!

Thank you
Do you mind me asking how you coped after?
I should have been 26 weeks now it almost doesn’t feel right to be pregnant again but with a different baby?
Sorry I probably don’t make any sense

Congratulations on your news! I can totally relate to your feelings. I had a silent miscarriage in July and conceived 5 months after (I’m now 11 weeks). It seemed like the longest most gruelling 5 months of my life as we tried again desperate to get the postive test again to feel the emptiness wee were feeling! Forward those 5 months, missed period , peed on the stock..... absolute shock then an overwhelming feeling of fear and oh shit here we go again! I was terrified and happy all in one. The odds are in your favour my lovely, I know how confusing / worrying / stressful it can all be but literally all you can do is take one step at a time. I had an early scan privately at 9 weeks for some temporary reassurance and we were over the moon to see a beating heart and wiggling baby unlike at the last scan. Good luck 😘 xxx

Hi Faedawn

The Ectopic Pregnancy trust (www.ectopic.org.uk/) are really helpful.

I'm also pregnant following an ectopic last year - mine was in July, baby would have been due around Valentine's day. I lost a tube and quite a lot of blood and was very ill. I felt really conflicted after my ectopic and was very low and exhausted. I fell pregnant again only two months later; I am now 27 weeks.

I had some therapy through the whole process and it was only really once I was 13-14 weeks with this pregnancy, or perhaps even later when he started moving, that it felt real. I also had a miscarriage last March at 9 weeks; that baby would be four months old now. I think what carried me through was the raw determination to be pregnant (had been trying a year before the first miscarriage). It has been a completely harrowing time and it is normal to feel awful. I am still worried something will go wrong now.

Like shivbo says - you will need an early scan, phone your EPU - you should be able to self refer as you are in the highest risk group. Hopefully everything will be OK. I had scans at 5,8,10 and 12 weeks and it was a scary time, I was convinced each time the baby would be dead.

So you are not alone.
Speak to the EPT - they've been there before and are amazing. My therapist has been amazing, if you can afford therapy or find some through your workplace/GP/etc.

And hopeful congratulations

Ladies
Thank you
I have felt so alone, my DP was a mess when we had the ectopic that I haven’t wanted to tell him how lost I feel.
I’ll call the EPU tomorrow.
They were so wonderful to me last time and I do remember them dying to get in touch when we get pregnant again.
Ladies I hope with all my heart that your pregnancies are as normal and strait forward as possible.
Fae xx

I know what you mean about being pregnant again I would have been due a couple of weeks ago and cant help imagining what that baby would have been like. I think as your pregnancy progresses them feelings will start to go and you will begin to feel excited. Its so hard to be excited at the begining when you have suffered a loss! Good Luck!

Hi I'm in the same position at the moment, I had an ectopic in June last year and found out I was pregnant again last week. I rang the epu as soon as I could and have a scan booked for next week when I'll be 6weeks. I'm so nervous that this one will be ectopic or that I'll miscarry. Every twinge or if my boob's aren't as sore makes me think it's about to all go wrong. Fingers crossed all goes well for you

And for you as well!
Are you happy to share how you get on? I guess we are on the same journey so I would love to be able to be of support to you on here

Yes of course it's nice to have people who understand what's happening and how you're feeling isn't it!