Pregnancy jealousy

[lornz]

How do you all deal with it.

We were trying for baby no 2 before Christmas with no BFP and it was a tough time. We've taken a break and are going to start try again in the summer which I had come to terms with ... until...

My BIL and his wife have just shared they're pregnant and they're due the week after our last failed cycle trying. My insides are in knots 😔 I'm happy for them but long to be pregnant again too.

Pregnant jealousy sucks 🙈

It’s horrible eh.

It took us a year to conceive and it was a difficult time especially as a fell pregnant during that time and knew we were trying liked to bombard a group chat with photos of all the baby stuff she was buying and more (not that anyone was interested after the first the photos!).

Just keep going it will happen

**as a friend fell pregnant

** after the first few photos

Can’t write properly today !

I had it when I was trying to have my first. Everyone seemed to be getting pregnant but me. Now I have DS though, despite waiting to start IVF for number 2, I don't begrudge other people's pregnancies.

That sounds hard OP. Sorry to hear you're struggling. Could you gently mention it to your bro/sis in law? Just making them aware of your situation might make them be more tactful when they speak to you.

Hope you get good news soon x

Thanks lovelies.

For the kind words

Has the BIL already got a child or is this the first?

Sorry to hear you're struggling.

It's their first baby and they hadn't been trying long (first month) judging by what my pitcher BIL has said. So they've been very lucky.

I feel so empty - but feel guilty for feeling that way!

In that case I honestly wouldn't mention anything to them despite what others have said. It's their first, you have had your first and I don't think it's fair to put a downer on everything. That doesn't mean you should put your feelings to one side though. It's so completely understandable for you to be sad and envious. I truly hope luck shines on you soon

I don't think it's fair to say anything to them. You've been very lucky to have a baby already.

Very much understand this. We've had a few friends announce pregnancies in the last couple of months. We are on month 4 of trying I know 1 couple had been trying for no2 for over a year but it still hurts. I want us to be pregnant and have a baby. Obviously we are over the moon for our friends but I have pangs of jealousy x

So sorry you feel upset, I don't know what I can say but I let my friend know I was pregnant in Jan and she told me she had been too but miscarried at Christmas and that she would've been due at the same time as me if she hadn't. I felt dreadful about it but she was totally lovely, as I'd expect from her as she's such a kind and wonderful person. I don't know if secretly she was hurt by our news but she's been through multiple losses and it's been an awful time for her and her OH, so I'm so pleased to have found out this week she got pregnant shortly after we told each other, everything crossed for her but all good so far. I guess what I'm trying to say is, try your best to keep positive and I agree with others that it's not fair to tell your BIL how you feel, it's their first and it won't change your pain, plus you may regret it and there's every chance you'll have your own wonderful news to share with them soon. I hope you're OK. Xx

I feel you OP! DH and I are on cycle 11 and still no luck, whilst a few of my colleagues and friends have either just had babies or have announced pregnancies. All my FB newsfeed seems to be pregnancy announcements at the moment. I am jealous of all the pregnancy posts, but I am happy for all of my friends in that situation. However, what I do not appreciate is a friend offering me conception advice when I know she conceived on their first try and she doesn't quite understand the situation I'm in. I'm sure it will happen for you soon OP!

I definitely wouldn't mention anything to anyone other than my husband as I don't want their experience to be tarnished. :)

I suppose also it brings up bad memories as people weren't overly happy when we announced our pregnancy as I was 21 (fully planned and financially taken care of) and I didn't really get to 'enjoy' the pregnancy until the end and once our small was here. We also had a missed miscarriage 2 years ago at the same time as one of my grandads died which we told no one about.l given the timing. I wanted to be able to enjoy this one from the start ...

Thank you again for all the kind words I think it's that initial gut wrenching response and with time it always becomes easier ... I too am sorry other are having to feel the same way and I hope baby dust will bring you all luck very soon!