Good morning everyone.
I'm in a situation. Bit of an understatement really. I've been with my partner for 2 and a half years. I love him dearly. He treats me so good and has taken to my girls like a duck to water. I'm almost 13 weeks pregnant with our first child together. I was shocked when I found out but it is what it is. I'm nervous because it's been a while since I've done the whole baby thing but I'm sure I'll get it back when baby is here.
Now last year we got pregnant and he was over the moon. Started buying little things, talking prams and all the exciting stuff. Unfortunately that ended in a miscarriage and we were devastated. We decided we wouldn't try again which I agreed was best. Fast forward to now and the last say 6 weeks he has been a bit 'off'. Not with me just in himself. Very quiet. Nervous type look and just not the usual happy go lucky jokey guy. (he is having a troubling time at work and things going on with my kids so we do have alot on) So I asked him one day what was wrong. He said he felt shit on me saying this but he doesn't want this baby. He isn't ready to be a dad yet. Just for the record he doesn't expect me to get an abortion or anything. He has said he wouldn't blame me for hating him and thinking of him as an arsehole (his words). Truth is i don't hate him. I get he is nervous and scared as he has never done this before and my children we older when we met. I've told him he needs to speak to someone and he agrees.
I asked him if he wanted to end us and he said no but I expressed to him that I don't want to get to the end and he still feels the same. He has attended every apppt and scan so far but I have told him I don't want him to feel forced to go. He wouldnt even look at the scan pictures.
I want to help him without backing him into a corner. I don't want to force him into this and him just resent me and the baby for doing so. Now I'm past the danger zone so to speak I brought up about telling his parents and he just keeps saying he doesn't know. I feel they have a right to know because this baby is part of their family too not just mine. His parents would be over the moon. I won't go behind his back and tell his parents. That would make things worse. Plus he works with his dad.
I have thought about going it alone. It has crossed my mind. Purely because I wont have another baby not wanted by their dad. Been there done that and will not do it again. Please someone help with advice. I don't over bear him with the baby or go on and on because I don't think it will help but it does need to be talked about. Has anyone got experiences of this? Good and bad I will take the lot. I just don't know how to sort this out.
Thanks for reading