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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Arguing over baby showers

20 replies

Banwell32 · 07/03/2019 20:11

Hi so I told all my family and my OH I do not want a baby shower however my OH mum and sister have gone ahead and booked one anyway I am not close to his family at all and half the people invited I’ve met once (6 of her best friends) all of his family none of mine and my mum and sisters have no been included in the preparations at all there is about 50 people invited am I over reacting for being pissed of feels like it might aswell be there baby shower. Sorry needed to rant somewhere and the OH just gets offended

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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le42 · 07/03/2019 20:19

I didn’t want a baby shower and my OHs family organised one exactly the same. It’s not my cup of tea at all and I felt very uncomfortable... they had things like a sash and tiara which I hate! I had to just think that they meant well, it’s one day and we ended up with loads of lovely presents I felt so bad that I didn’t want to be there as everyone was very generous.

It’s tricky!

Justus22 · 07/03/2019 20:25

I think they sound crackers 😂. I don't blame you feeling like that but perhaps they mean well but not including your mum and sisters is really odd, certainly doesn't sound like it's being done for your benefit for this reason. That said I'm sure you'll have a lovely time, there are worse ways they can be.x

Bambamber · 07/03/2019 22:14

I just wouldn't go

Jackshouse · 07/03/2019 22:17

If your family and friend are not invited then just don’t go.

Littleraindrop15 · 07/03/2019 22:18

50 random people wow

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/03/2019 22:22

If he wants to go he can bloody go.

YANBU to be very pissed off and I wouldn’t go. I like going to other people’s showers and have organised a couple of lovely low key ones for people who want them. I’m not having one because I don’t want one and if anyone organised one for me I’d tell them I wasn’t going.

It’s very rude to go ahead and book one knowing you don’t want one and spectacularly out of order not to invite your family. What the fuck?

Unfortunately in later pregnancy you can wake up and just feel a bit ropey so if you don’t feel you can decline now then just pull a sickie on the day.

Original poster

Banwell32 · 07/03/2019 22:24

I said I wasn’t my Oh thinks they are just trying to be nice I’m just not the sort of person to want all the attention on me and they have a big family it’s just not my sort of thing it’s was supposed to be a surprise but my OH told me as he knew I wouldn’t be impressed

OP posts:

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/03/2019 22:25

He should tell them you don’t want one, won’t like it and they have to cancel it.

Why are their feelings more important to him than yours?

Hedgehogblues · 07/03/2019 22:28

Just don't go

MumUnderTheMoon · 07/03/2019 22:32

If you've told them no baby shower then don't go.

Rtmhwales · 07/03/2019 22:33

I'd go, and enjoy all the free presents. It's probably not worth the argument now to back out. See if you can invite your mum and some friends?

snitzelvoncrumb · 07/03/2019 22:39

Just don't go, you can pretend you didn't know and do something else that day.

Aspenn17 · 09/03/2019 23:02

Why not go, but just for a couple of hours then make an excuse that you are tired/feel unwell and leave. Like someone said above, free presents!

Chocolate35 · 09/03/2019 23:07

Your DH needs to tell them that you really don’t want one and they need to respect that. They may mean well but that doesn’t make it ok to ignore what you’ve said and put you in an uncomfortable situation. I wouldn’t go.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 09/03/2019 23:12

I'd go. I know you don't want one but I'd take my DM along too.

Like others have said, you can always go home after a couple of hours.

NakedBrainStrollingInManhatten · 09/03/2019 23:19

If it's meant to be a surprise just say no to whatever excuse they use to try and get you there.

If they say "oh but you have to come we arranged a surprise baby shower" just say that you don't feel up to it and wish they'd have said something as now it's all very awkward for everyone as you did say you didn't want one. Maybe send DH in your place. It's his family after all.

whitehalleve · 09/03/2019 23:22

I wouldn't go if this was me.

seeingdots · 10/03/2019 00:03

Oh god how awful! It's clearly not for you, it's for them. Tell them they can knock themselves out but you'll not be going.

I can't believe they're inviting their friends and family and not yours, that's mad.

HidCat · 10/03/2019 11:36

I would go and if your family genuinely haven't been invited then I would probably ask outright where they were and show sadness / disappointment that they aren't. Think of it in the sense of what you would do if you had no idea it was coming. Regardless of their motives it may be ok and your OH has put you in a tricky position by letting the cat out of the bag.

MissMini · 12/03/2019 07:04

I would be so annoyed. I was adamant I didn’t want a shower and my friends have been a bit annoyed at me about it but I just think it’s my choice at the end of the day. Your OH should have put his foot down with his family, I also think it’s quite rude not to have included your family and friends. I’d be tempted to find an excuse not to go.

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