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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

I can't stop crying, i feel like there's something wrong with me

19 replies

PregnantGrrrl · 08/07/2007 15:40

How do you know the difference between depression / hormones / sleep deprivation?

DS hasn't slept well for 2 days now- i slept for around 3hours last night. I can't stop crying. Even before his bad sleep i've been horrible- i feel like an awful mother, and like i'm going to get PND and my kids will hate me. i keep losing my temper and getting wound up at small things.

DH doesn't seem to understand, he keeps telling me not to let things bother me, like when DS is whining and i start losing my temper, but i can't help it.

i've cried so much this afternoon that i have a headache, and me tipping tea on my hand was what started it off. i might just sound mental, i don't know. i feel it.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

sarahhal · 08/07/2007 15:45

How pregnant are you? Or have you had your baby?

Original poster

PregnantGrrrl · 08/07/2007 15:46

25wks, and i have a 1yr old.

OP posts:

sarahhal · 08/07/2007 15:49

It's so hard isn't it when you already have a toddler. Can you just escape up to bed and let DH take over so you can sleep. Sleep deprivation is the worst isn't it - and I'm sure you'll be panicking like I did about how you will manage when the baby starts waking up too!!(just don't think about it, it won't be as bad as you imagine!!)

Just cry away though, hormones are buggers aren't they!

Chrissybobs · 08/07/2007 16:24

I've been feeling exactly the same it has gradually crept up on me which is why I have just joined MM. I am due on Wednesday and have a 2 yr old who in the past few weeks has been having major sleep problems and I like you, have been averaging 3-4 hrs sleep a night.

It took a while for me to realise that I needed some help ( I cried so hard/long one night it scared me) but DH has let me sleep in the day now for a couple of much needed hours and my MIL has finally stepped in to take DD for a couple of nights. I've also dug out my relaxation tapes which have helped a lot. I feel soooooo much better and able to deal with things a again.

I think hormones do play a part but the lack of sleep is the real problem- you must get help so that you can get some sleep. Nursery/friend/MIL maybe?

I really hope you feel better soon

lisad123 · 08/07/2007 17:27

pregnant girl, i felt like this the other week. I was crying for no reason at all. Someone pointed out to me that between 24-28 weeks you get a extra load of hormones. This made me feel better and the tearfulness passed after 2 days. HTH
L

codJane · 08/07/2007 17:28

oi pggrrrrl if i slapped ya aorudn the chops would it help?

lisad123 · 08/07/2007 17:52

i think it might, if you wanted her to cry more

Annie75 · 08/07/2007 18:27

Aw, you sound as though you need a break, not mental x.

Any chance you could find the time/dosh to book in for a pregnancy massage? Or see if your DH can do it? I'm a big believer in healing hands when you're feeling down.

You've got a lot on your plate with a little 'un keeping you busy and up at night and pregnancy hormones sloshing around. Ask your hubby to look after your DS on a reasonably regular basis so you can start looking after yourself. Go swimming, watch a film, catch up with a friend. It'll help you feel more you again.

JayJ · 08/07/2007 18:55

Sleep deprivation definately makes us feel even more hormonal, I am pretty much in the same situation as you, I am 27 weeks pg and have a 1 year old (he also currently has chicken pox.) I know it is often easier said than done but you can't do everything yourself. Do you have any close friends or relatives who could maybe have your 1 year old for a couple of hours a week so that you can have a nap?

You are definately not mental.

lisad123 · 08/07/2007 19:05

Im very lucky that my dd goes to private nursery 3 days a week, which normally i would spend at work but am signed off sick right now. Me and Dh agreed to keep her there as it gives me rest and keeps her routine going. It really is a life saver, having a few hours alone time. Can anyone help you out??
L

potoroo · 08/07/2007 19:08

When DS had a bad cold for about a week, I was averaging 2-3 hours a night. I remember driving to Tesco at about 2am (as you do) for cough syrup and thinking, quite rationally, if I drive into a wall, this will all stop. A few minutes later I realised that was probably not a good thing to be thinking.

Sleep deprivation does bad things to you, and pregnancy hormones don't help.

I found once he settled down a few nights later and I got some proper sleep I started to return to normal - but it did take time.

Please get someone to look after DS for you for a few hours - preferrably out of the house - so you can sleep.

PurpleLostPrincess · 08/07/2007 23:00

Hi PregnantGrrrl, I've been averaging about 3 or 4 hours sleep a night for the last month or so now and I was working nearly full time too. My kids are much older (13 and 8) but they both got a bug a few weeks ago at the same time. I was desperate to give up work and I'm in constant pain with my hips etc. I cried for about two days from sheer exhaustion!

You're not an awful mother at all and you're not mental. Be kind to yourself and give yourself some sort of treat (not sure what to suggest but you know what might work best for you). DS has no comprehension of what you're going through at all - could he perhaps get up in the night or take it in turns?

(((((((((hugs)))))))))

PLP xxx

Original poster

PregnantGrrrl · 10/07/2007 07:47

i feel better today- yesterday was pretty good because DS slept really well Sunday night.

when i feel bad i feel like it'll never end I'm finding pregnancy so hard this time- i'd much rather 2 babies to look after than taking care of one and being pregnant!

as rotten as it is feeling bad, it's nice to know i'm not on my own. i know things will get better in the end.

OP posts:

FlameDelacour · 10/07/2007 08:04

IME depression makes me want to hide away from the world - I don't want to see or speak to anyone, but I don't want to be alone left with my own thoughts either. If you feel it is becoming more depression than just basic hormones and sleep - please tell your midwife. They won't force you onto pills, but they will give you support.

Antenatal Depression is gradually becoming more recognised, and its a horrible horrible thing

MrsFish · 10/07/2007 08:20

Hi Pregnantgrrrl - I know how you feel, I am 28 weeks with a 2 year old and it is incredibly tough, all he wants at the moment is constant attention it is hard to even sit still for 5 minutes without him whining or pulling on my hand to follow him everywhere. I would much rather have two babies too than at the moment.

Hope you get some help or chance to catch up on some sleep, but I definitely don't think you are depressed, just tired and hormonal. Ds fell out of the car onto tarmac on saturday and took all the skin off his forehead, he got over it in 10 mins but it took me 2 hours to stop crying about it. I'm sure it was the hormones You see it is pretty normal, the slightest thing sets me off atm. x

shamblinrose · 10/07/2007 08:32

pg - i was diagnosed with AND during my preg. it can be worthwhile talkin this over with yr MW / HV. i found mine really helpful and made me realise my thoughts and feelings wer down to this. good luck

tiredmumov3 · 10/07/2007 20:54

hi i totally sympathize im 24 weeks and having baby number 4.i do get pre natal depression with each pregnancy but its only this time ive had an official diagnosis and been signed off work.its kinda helped to get an official name for it also with me it disapears straight after birth so fingers crossed for you too.and youre not sounding mental just peed off get out the house if its that bad stick child in pushchair or car and get out the house thats what helps me.best of luck you will get through this
hth

Original poster

PregnantGrrrl · 11/07/2007 13:04

well after saying i felt better yesterday morning, it all went pear-shaped. I screamed at DS, cried all the way to work and then sat at my desk for 10mins with my ipod on ignoring eveyone.

my lovely boss bought me a bag of jelly babies to cheer me up, and let me have a half day today aswell. I had a good chat with a pregnant friend in work aswell.

i've looked into coping strategies for when i feel like i'm going to lose my rag, which i've started using and i feel much better. got a book of short meditations too, and told DH that every week, just for an hour, i'm going to do something outside the house on my own, like go for a walk or a coffee.

DH cooked a lovely meal last night, and i had a bath, and i feel much more positive. i think half the problem is not giving into the irrational feelings of temper / frustration etc.

OP posts:

littleyawner · 11/07/2007 13:28

Hi,

Don't loose faith you will feel better. .

I am 36 weeks and TBH i would not have blamed my dh if he had walked out on me last week.

I too have not been able to stop crying and I don't just mean a few tears ... total hysterics.I have had no control over my emotions at all I even had to miss my first ante-natal on monday as I could not face seeing people.

Feeling a lot chirpier today which I think was due to the fact I found out yesterday that my lo's head is "well engaged".

I know now that the end is in sight and am feeling more excited than anything!!!

Do not be hard on yourself it's not nice to feel this way but it's not the real you.

It is hard being pregnant but worth the hard work too

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