Feel like I've made a terrible mistake

[absolutehush]

I'm really sorry to anyone this offends but I feel like I have made a terrible mistake having a baby. I am literally filled with dread all the time. I'm 37+6 and I wish wish wish we had never decided to have a baby.

I'm so so very worried about money and that I won't love my baby. I don't feel like I will. I feel like it will just be me and baby stuck in a house, not knowing what to do. Being lonely.

I had a wonderful life and a wonderful marriage and now I think I've ruined them both.

Does this feeling pass? Will I feel better once the baby is here? I'm so worried I'll do a bad job because I can't love the baby. And it's not their fault - I did this. I chose to have a child.

I've really fucked up here. I just want to run away.

I felt the same when I was pregnant. I just wanted to run away and leave everything behind. I suspect I had pre-natal depression. This certainly turned into post-natal depression, but foolishly I hid how I felt from everyone.
Now I look back and regret not getting any help. I missed out on enjoying my baby, and that makes me sad now.

Please speak to your GP or midwife. Help is there, please don't make the same mistake I did.
Sending you hugs x

I think everyone thinks like this the closer it gets to having a baby. You're probably worried about actually giving birth and everything that comes with it. I was too I basically ignored the fact I was pregnant for near enough 9 months because I didn't want to think about all the stressful stuff. But once the baby is here you will be fine. The love will just come maybe not as soon as you give birth but one day you will look at them and realise you'd die for them. As for money it won't be easy but it won't be the end of the world. Money isn't everything after all.
Have you spoken to your husband about how you feel? Or maybe even the midwife or your gp? There is such a thing as prenatal depression so it might be worth talking to someone if you feel that bad.

Thanks both. Have had a little chat with my husband, who is being very kind and supportive. I'm feeling really exhausted and I suppose that doesn't help (but I'm unlikely to get less tired!).

I think I might phone the midwife - I saw her today and didn't exactly confess my feelings so feel a bit foolish now.

Glad your husband is being supportive.. and you're right being tired doesn't help! The sleep was the hardest for me, but the best advice i can give for once baby is here is to sleep whenever they do. Don't feel like you have to stay awake just because of visitors or household stuff that can wait!

Yes definitely do speak to the midwife. Don't feel foolish she will understand she probably sees it all the time. She can get you some help to deal with how you're feeling and it's better to do it before baby comes. Hope it all goes well x