Almost mourning my old self being pregnant

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Hi,

So I’m 29 weeks pregnant and starting to feel really left out and miss the person I used to be. I was quite a wine drinker before I got pregnant so it has been a massive shock not being able to unwind with a drink. I know you shouldn’t have to have a drink to have fun or relax and it’s suprised me how much I relied on drinking to have a good time!! Is that sad???
The first 18 weeks were the worst and I almost had a pang of regret thinking I might have made a mistake getting pregnant all because I miss going to the pub and having a wine with the girls or a night in with OH!! I’m over the moon at being pregnant but find myself wishing the weeks away till I’m able to be myself again.
Did anyone else find they mourned their old self when pregnant?

Yep. Absolutely. 100%. What I did was look at my bank account at how much money I had from NOT drinking. Also, when your baby is born you won't give two tiny fucks about going nine months without a big fat glass of Malbec. You'll have a tiny little perfect human that is all yours and you won't care. You'll be back bigger and better and happier and get on with your new life as a parent and get back on the vino!

Definitely. I'm due baby 2 in the next few weeks and still feel pangs for Saturday afternoons in the pub with DH and no responsibilities. It's worth it, but definitely still miss my old life at times.

100%. Im currently pregnant with dc2. Id just managed to get “myself” back as well. So am really missing her. I W also not been well (sinusy thing so haven’t been able to gym...).

I just miss it. So much. But am happy about dc2. Even though absolutely totally unplanned.

Am 19 weeks at present so almost half way there!

It'll get worse once he's born and you realise you literally can't do anything you used to do anymore for atleast a few months. Unless you have help of course which I highly suggest you take. I wen my through a massive depression. I used to go out with friends, go shopping, get in my car and go to the beach, dinners, bars. When I had my baby I couldn't do anything and that life is over: it's gone forever. Your friends who don't have children will probably stop talking to you. Your body will look completely different and you'll be lucky if you have enough time or energy to even get ready every day. It gets easier though. Now that my son is one life is a lot easier. Sorry but I'm being brutally honest.

Definitely with you on this!! Currently 23 weeks with my first and very much missing my after work drinks, cigarettes and cocktails on holiday!! I feel guilty to admit it to anyone because of course I'm thrilled to be pregnant and so excited for the next stage of our lives .. just sometimes lust for the days of no responsibility and mid week dinner and drinks with DP! Doesn't help that I'm still working on DP to give up the cigarettes too (he promises he will by baby's arrival ...)

Another brutally honest reply here but it doesn't ever go back. You'll have a new normal, and it's pretty gruelling but mixed with lots of lush bits that you'll treasure forever. Do guard against pnd though as having a baby is such a life changing wallop.

Sorry to be brutally honest but you'll never be that person again. That's ok though and the joy of children and the love they bring is immense.

Unfortunately you won't get that freedom back for a good while...& Just when you are you'll do something stupid like conceive another child

I know what you mean, it took me a long time after my first to get my head around the fact i couldn't just up and leave when i fancied to go anywhere. And even getting out of the house before midday was an achievement.

I used to drink wine like it was going out of fashion, and when I was pregnant thought I’d go through withdrawals but it didn’t bother me. I still don’t drink anymore as I’m breastfeeding and co-sleeping and it’s just not worth the hassle.
You’ll also never be your old self. This never really sunk in for me until I had the baby. Then it was a massive shock as I have a clingy baby who had colic and who still won’t sleep on his own. I went from doing what I wanted when I wanted to not even being able to make a cup of tea or go for a wee as the baby would have a meltdown as soon as I tried to put him down. The constant screaming and feelings of being trapped nearly sent me over the edge. Quite surprised I didn’t get full on PND.

I often mourn for the old me.

Sorry another voice adding that the old you will never 100% come back. Parts of it will in time. But never fully. My youngest is almost 4 and I still have periods where I morn parts of my old life before kids.

Yes, I disliked being pregnant, although I love every inch of my now 21 year old daughter.

I'd say I was pretty much back to my old self within three months, back at work, back in my clothes, and we soclialised as much as we ever did, started drinking again, and simply took our daughter with us whereever we went. We were well past night clubs and were more socialising at friends houses, having people over, going out for dinner, so it was all good.

I don't really understand the comments you'll never be your old self. For me that was not the case.

The first year is very tough then it starts getting easier. You’ll never be your old self again, but your life is filled with a new joy that no night at the pub could ever bring! I miss my old life but in the same way I miss my uni days - it’s just a time in your life which you cannot go back to.

Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!

I also don't understand the posters that say you'll never be your old self. It took a while, but, I definitely got my old self back! My children are now 9 and 7. I love my life even more than before and me and my DP still make time for each other. So much so, that, I'm currently 19 weeks pregnant 😂

You WILL be yourself again! It just takes time, that's all. Yes your life changes but you do get YOU back. So you may not get to do the same things as often post-baby but you will get to do them (it just takes a bit of planning!). There's no spontaneity lol.

When I was pg with my 1st I lost count of the number of people who said 'oh your life's over now!' (I was only 18, it really did upset me, gave me visions of being miserable for the rest of my life). Not one person told me how much fun having a baby could be, and how the things you enjoyed before you will enjoy again, how joyful it is to watch your baby grow, how you find new joys in your new life.

One word of caution - after not drinking for 9 months, it's wise to 'wean' yourself back onto alcohol. I had my first post-baby drink 2 months after having my 3rd DC - 4 vodka and cokes in one night lol, an amount I could easily manage before. Then promptly chucked it all up everywhere!

Its really not all that bad or the world would be full of one-child families! Good luck with everything x

Don’t be too worried by pp. I think it really depends on who you are as a person. I felt exactly like you when I was pregnant (I was naturally a bit of a binger) but didn’t bond at all and even resented the baby. Now he’s here everything has changed and he’s the light of my life. Id much rather spend time with my gorgeous, sometimes challenging-refluxy-colicky, bundle than drinking. I realised this after going on my first night out since pregnancy- I realised the past wasn’t as good as what I’ve got now.