I don't know what to do

[Flipside7]

We had a stillbirth at 38 weeks on January 2018. This week I am going through a nine week miscarriage. I have been married to my husband for five years. I found out yesterday that he has slept with another woman whilst I was pregnant. Please can somebody help me decide what to do, it was never an open relationship and I know he's grieving too but surely it's a line that he shouldn't cross? I'm so low right now

What an absolute fucking pig.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I, personally, would try to process me grief for the mc first and then, once some of the dust has settled figure out what you want to do about him. There is no right answer and there is no wrong answer. You may want to forgive and you might never be able to trust him again.

I'm so sorry.

So sorry for your loss. You need to grieve for your baby first lovely. Take some time out xxx

Bless you, what a horrendous time you're having 💜. I agree with other people, you first need to try to grieve for your loss and heel a little yourself. Until you are in a better place I don't think you'll be able to think straight. As for him, what a shit! Perhaps part of your decision will come down to how he's reacting. Is he begging for forgiveness? Indifferent? Making excuses? Also could you trust him again? It's terrible that all these things are happening to you. Try to draw strength from family and friends and give yourself time. Hugs 💜💐

What an absolute fucking arsehole!!

I'm so sorry to hear that you're having to deal with this, especially given everything that has happened.

I also agree with PP, you need some time for yourself. As for your husband, I think his actions are unforgivable!

Maybe speak to your family and take some time away from your husband. xx

So so sorry for your loss 🙏🏾 I can’t imagine what you are going through.

As for your husband - what an absolute vile person.

If I was in your shoes I could absolutely not tolerate that sort of behaviour on top of a pregnancy and a still birth and a mc.

How do you feel about taking some time away from him and focusing on yourself?

There is absolutely no excuse for his behaviour - you were carrying your child and he had the audacity to cheat on you whilst you were experiencing one of the most biggest gifts life can offer.

If it was mean in your shoes I would absolutely take time out from him and reasses being with someone like that as challenging as it may be for you right now on top of other things.

There are no words to describe your husband right now.

You have been through the worst thing you could ever imagine. My son died shortly after birth in 2017 and it's still as raw now as it was then. Your husband is a dick, he has no excuse for doing what he's done. He should be supporting you, you're the one going through everything physically.

Take some time for yourself, OP. Grieve your babies and then deal with your husband.

He doesn't deserve you.

I don't know how to edit the post. I've just found out that he was on swingers websites and has had sex with 35 plus people over the seven years I've known him. I have been shattered to so many pieces. I want all the pain to stop.

So sorry that you are going through all of this. What an utter bastard

This is the worst time of your life but you CAN get through it.

Ignore him completely for now and prioritise YOUR healing.

If you work get signed off for a while. Drink water. Breathe. Eat three times a day even if it's a glass of milk. Get some counselling. Go for a walk in nature. Do whatever you need to get through the day.

Are you physically in pain still from the mc? Could you stay with friends or go away for a while and just have some space away from him?

There is no right or wrong here for you other than whatever you need to do to get through. You will look back on this in the future and be amazed you did it and so very proud of yourself for getting through.

@Flipside7 what a disgrace! The pain WILL stop eventually. Look after yourself. X