Please don't judge

[babybee2019]

I'm here for general advice not for som goon to be like "well it's your fault bla bla bla"

Right back story, me and my ex split after I had a miscarriage, we was together over 4 years. It broke both our hearts and I pushed him away because of it.

I've been round 7 months now and me and my ex are talking again, this is where it twist.

I slept with someone a few weeks back, I took a rest in the 31st it was negative. Then me and my ex started talking again on the 14th feb.

I found out the following Saturday I'm pregnant. He told me because he knew who the dad is that he couldn't be with me. But it's funny how in the past he's been with people who he knows all the baby dads.

I've spoken to the baby dad... well let's just say that was effort where it wasn't needed he told me he don't want nothing to do with it.

My ex how ever I could say he's my world but he hasn't changed how he says he has. He questions me regularly on my close friend who happens to be a lad. But hes okay to talk to girls? Apparently I don't go to my mom when I say so I've had to share my location with him on snap chat so he can clearly see where I am.

But he's telling me that if I want this relationship to carry on I need to abort.

1. It breaks me heart for him to say that
2. I can't tell my parents they are as strict as, and basically expect me to get a good job be married and live the old fashion way basically
3. I don't actually know if I can afford it
4. The baby dad don't want nothing to do with it.
5. I'm so stuck can I have some mom advice please

As I said don't comment if your just going to bitch I want some general advice

What do YOU want OP?

I'm stuck I would like the baby yes but I have no money nothing I'm worried I'm not going to give the baby the world

Babies don't need the world. They need love and I'm sure you'll be capable of that. The fact you want this baby inspite of possibly losing your man says it all. Good luck in your decision 🙂

Forget there is a dad - do you want motherhood?

It pains me to read your grammar and wording, but keeping my opinions to myself about that... it all sounds very childish in a very adult situation.

Keep the baby = don’t stay with current ex/partner (who doesn’t want to bring up someone else’s baby and now doesn’t trust you)

Abort the baby (on his say so I’m assuming) = stay with current ex/partner.
May regret abortion, may never have another baby.

Just options to consider. Either way your choice and not the choices of any anonymous poster on mums net.

Good luck

I would say questioning you and making you share your whereabouts are not normal. I would say only you can decide whether to keep your baby. I would talk to friends, gp and sexual health clinic. I would take time to work out what is best.

your ex is controlling. ditch him.

Sounds like he has control issues - can you really see yourself spending the rest of your life with someone like that? Ditch him he will only get worse.

If you want to experience motherhood then keep the baby. Sure your situation may not be great right now but you have control over getting a good job etc, financial situations & job situations can change for the better if you work for it.

There’s no gurentee you’ll be able to have a child in the future.

your ex partner tracks you through snap chat?! what ever you decide about the baby walk away from him!!

@icouldwriteabook it pains me to read your rude, irrelevant dig re the OP's grammar but I hope it boosted your self esteem for a second.

@babybee2019 I hope you are OK. This isn't an ideal situation I know but either way you will be OK. You don't need the baby's father to be involved but he may change his mind should you continue with your pregnancy and if you do regardless of his involvement he'll still have to contribute financially.

I understand your ex/partner will be hurt but you didn't cheat on him and he has no grounds under any circumstances to track your movements or tell you you can't keep your baby. I can promise you if you do keep your baby you will have a love in your life you never knew was possible and from the things you've written about your ex/partner it seems to me he's not for you and if he were he'd not try to advise you to abort for his own sake.

You sound like you want to keep your baby but I also get your concerns re money/career and I'd be lying if I said your career plans wouldn't be on hold but it certainly doesn't mean they'll be destroyed, if anything having my children made me more driven. I'd talk to your family, they may surprise you and you need support whilst working things out. You can still build the life you want and be a great mum.

If you want to go for a termination you just need to make sure you can live with it, I say that with kindness, someone close to me is still emotionally affected by hers nearly 18 years on and it's the biggest regret of her life. Then I know others who have had abortions and are totally OK with it and say it was the right thing. Just be sure of how you feel before you make your decision, it's a very big one. I don't think you need to worry this decision will prevent you having more children, I don't know a single person who is struggling with infertility issues due to an abortion the chances of such are very slim. I do know someone who went through menopause in early 20s that's entirely different but people don't have babies at 19 just incase they are the one in thousands this happens to IYSWIM.

I hope you're OK anyway. You've lots to think about but I'm sure in a few months you'll have worked through it all in a way that's best for you. X

It pains me to read your grammar and wording, but keeping my opinions to myself about that...

It pains you? Really?!!!! 😒

I'm stuck I would like the baby yes but I have no money nothing I'm worried I'm not going to give the baby the world

The baby doesn't need the world, just someone who loves and looks after it.
My advice - ditch the man, keep the baby 👍

I would agree with your parents to a certain extent. Having a ‘good’ job with a steady income and a degree of financial stability will help you give a child the best start in life. Your current situation sounds very messy, with a controlling ex and an unsupportive family.

Were do you live?

It sounds like you want this baby! Babies don't need lots of expensive things. I'm expecting twins in August and since I concieved, my financial situation has changed. I'm learning REALLY fast that babies don't need much, and what they do need can be sourced preowned or on sale! You absolutely can do this. The most important thing is to provide a warm loving stable home, without that controlling man if necessary

Still a chance his dad your ex's . Need to get a DNA when bs h is born