Is it normal to feel like this?

[Gobletoffire]

Hi. I’m 36 weeks pregnant and have finished work today for maternity leave. Everyone for weeks has been asking me if I’m excited, and I am, but I feel like I should be so much more excited than I feel. I think it’s because it all just feels so surreal. This is first baby and even though I’ve known for months that I’m pregnant I still don’t think it’s dawned on me that very soon I’ll actually have my own baby, it just isn’t sinking in. I love feeling him wriggle in my belly but I still can’t come to terms with the fact there’s a human in there so I don’t feel as attached to my bump as I think I should (I know how daft that sounds). This was a planned pregnancy and we were lucky enough to get pregnant the first cycle, so I’m so happy but I can’t shake off the surreal feeling and the realisation just isn’t setting in. I’m starting to get scared that when he arrives I still feel the same so end up struggling feeling attached to him. Will it all just hit me once he’s here in my arms? Anyone else felt like this before?

I suspect it is normal for some people, yes. I'm 38 weeks and don't really believe it's going to happen. I'm not excited at all, I'm terrified and would rather not think too much about it.

However, I'm under the care of the perinatal mental health team for severe anxiety, so that might be related.

I think loads of people feel like that! It's a really odd moment, starting maternity leave. You've made the big change to your life, but the baby still hasn't arrived. Very odd!
I found that as soon as my eldest was born I felt like I just knew what to do, and we were away. (Obvs I didn't ACTUALLY know what to do, it took us two days to learn how to change a nappy without everyone needing a bath, change of clothes, and clean sheets...)

I could've written your post, down to conceiving the first month. I actually think it was part of it - my friends who took longer were definitely more excited. I was definitely bemused by the whole thing, and didn't connect the bump with a person.

Don't necessarily expect the first rush of love people talk about either. Might happen for you, but didn't for me (and did for DH!). I was just fascinated with her. And just preoccupied with feeding etc. We still got on great though, my parents still say they couldn't believe how relaxed and confident we were. It didn't feel it but I guess it looked it!

Best of luck for the next few weeks. You really will be fine. Don't beat yourself up, there's no right or wrong way to feel. Just enjoy being off work with no baby to mind!

I felt like that with my dd. It gets even more surreal the day they're born as you can't believe that little human has been living in you for 9 months! Even now my dd is turning 2 and I still look at her and think you were once in my belly. I'm sure older parents still look at their adult children and think that. I'm pregnant with my second and probably last so I'm trying to appreciate every little moment. Someone said to me that you're only pregnant for a very small percentage of your life so try and enjoy it as much as possible. Although leg cramps, sleep deprivation, loss of bladder control and backache kind of stops that sometimes lol.

I think this is normal. During my pregnancy I kept having this weird thought that I wasn't pregnant at all and I was making it all up. (not due to a lack of symptoms as I had many, it was just a weird recurring thought). Even checking in at the theatre reception for my c section I was half wondering if they would really find a baby in there!

But I haven't had any thoughts like that since dc was born.

I think also for many people it's hard to be excited at that time as they are in pain from late pregnancy and worried about the birth.

Just feel how you feel and try not to worry. Once baby is here you'll feel great.

Thanks all, you’ve helped no end and I’m glad I’m not the only one. I have a close friend who’s pregnant too, she’s super excited and looking forward to all the things she’s going to do over maternity leave with her little one but I don’t feel like this because it’s like I still can’t comprehend that I’m actually having a baby! Even from the day I got my positive test it’s like I’m still waiting for it to sink in lol. I’ll just take each day and feeling as it comes. Thanks all xx

In a way I think there's a bit of a danger for those who have ideas of what it's going to be like - it's impossible to imagine how hard the hard bits will be, and dealing with the reality being different to the imagined can be quite tough. So, I love to walk and got a great pram thought I'd spend my days walking the seafront. One c section and refluxy baby who couldn't lie flat later... I think the more open a mind you have (for both baby and delivery) the better.

Yes v normal, I've got four dc and felt the same with all of them!
I had to go in for induction with the second and refused to get out of the car and sobbed because when I came out I would have a baby
Dh was very confused he just caked saying "Greece what did you think you've been doing for the last nine months?!