Midwife comments

[Jadefeather7]

Hi ladies
I’m feeling a little upset today. I had an appointment with the midwife and asked to lie down during my blood test (I always do this as I sometimes get light headed if I’m upright and they’re always understanding). When I asked this midwife she seemed startled and said “How do you think you are going to cope with labour if you can’t handle needles?” I said to her that I felt it wasn’t an appropriate comment to make to someone who’s expecting for the first time and she got very defensive about it and said it was a legitimate question to ask as part of the care she needs to give. Anyway it’s left me feeling a bit low on confidence about giving birth. I know deep down that it’s silly because I can handle needles but I guess I’m (naturally) feeling a bit nervous having never given birth before and comments like this are really unhelpful :( Just needed to vent a bit I guess.

It was rather insensitive of her to comment, I think you did the right thing calling her out on it.

I agree the way she said it was uncalled for and you where well within your rights to call her out on it.

Your body copes differently during labour hun honestly you will be fine you just push through it ... no its not all roses but your body knows what it's doing i cringe at needles but have to watch them put them in or i go dizzy and clammy they say I'm very strange lol.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.
When are you due ?
Pay no attention to rude comments like this they are entitled to there opinion but i think this was just bitchy xxx

Agree that it’s a bit off for her to respond like that. Lots of people are needle phobic and HCPs take that into account. And comparing it to childbirth is just nonsense. I have a friend who is also scared of needles and the idea of pain in general. She swore by hypnobirthing and had two DC on gas and air.

Thanks ladies, really appreciate the support x

I’m due in May. Generally feeling ok about it although I do have first time nerves as I don’t know what it’s like but nothing out of the ordinary. It’s harsh though when someone else questions you like that.

I was going to let it go but I felt I had to say something as she shouldn’t think it’s ok to say things like that.

Such a shame she had this attitude, not what you need! I am the same with blood tests (I find them okay now, but only as I’ve had quite a few!) My midwife was really supportive and empathetic, and made no comment about not coping in labour because of it. You probably will find ways to make them easier though, I used to always faint but now I make sure I drink loads beforehand, and have something on hand to eat after (or a boiled sweet); I think it didn’t help I used to get so worked up I’d forget to breathe properly, oops.

Please try not to be too upset by her comments, it’s not unusual at all and they should be there to support you

Some midwives are great and some say throw away comments that are damn right annoying. I fainted giving my first set of bloods. Midwife was great in my circumstance. Have given birth twice with just gas and air. 1st labour was 4 days (loooong early stage) 2nd was 4 hours. I didn't find it that painful except for the crowning stage and by then you just want it out. You'll be fine.

I always have to lie down for blood but I managed fine in labour, even with epidural and eventual c section. Good for you for calling her out on it! But try not to let it bother you. She won’t be the one delivering the baby so it won’t be her issue to deal with anyway

Your MW is a cow. I made a similar offhand remark while mine was taking blood – I can't watch and have to hum idiotic songs loudly as a distraction – about how I'd handle labour if I couldn't handle this.

My MW was incredibly reassuring about the difference between needles and childbirth (one's natural, one isn't!), that the same person can handle two different things differently, talked me through painkiller options and mental coping techniques, and was generally great.

It's not you, it's the MW.

Oh what a tit.
Sounds to me like she just blurted out what she was thinking then tried to backtrack with some bullshit excuse about “questions she has to ask”
I can’t handle a simple injection or a blood test without feeling a bit sick, and yet I’ve given birth twice. The first time was a drip induction with no pain relief, second was a home birth with no pain relief (gas and air makes me vomit horribly so I choose to avoid it!).
Different strokes for different folks - I would rather give birth drug-free again than have my next blood test

I do think it's a legitimate question had you answered actually I'm really worried incase I need a drip/epidural she can put it in your notes and discuss things with you etc.

Perhaps she could have worded it better or used a different tone.

Just plain rude, some people are such battle axes!

I hear you with blood tests... I get exactly the same thing. Have no fear of needles, just get lightheaded when blood is drawn.

I had just gas and air for my labour so her point is absolutely invalid! On another note, take it easy after birth... you'll probably get light headed then too.

I had a hideous midwife during my first pregnancy who said just that. And during my second, when I fainted even though i’d Got over my phobia by then, just said it’s your body’s Reaction, it’s nothing you can control.

Wow it’s interesting that a number of you have had a similar experience. The other two midwives I met previously were pretty understanding about it. I think communicating with sensitivity should really be part of their training. I also didn’t like how she dealt with it after I explained how I felt - refusing to acknowledge that the comment could be offensive and arguing with me about it

What an odd thing to say.

Midwives should be easing your fears not exacerbating them.

And having a needle inserted into your arm is nothing like labour. It doesn't even bear comparison so I'm not quite sure what she was getting at there.

You will be totally fine with labour. It's what our bodies were biologically made to do and the team that looks after you are amazing.

If you are still feeling anxious, can I suggest listening to Mindful Hypnobirthing by Sophie Fletcher. Personally, it really helped me ease any anxiety I had. There are mindfulness exercises to losten to if you get the audiobook. Its lush. And helped me go with the flow when the birth didnt exactly go to plan (I wanted a water birth - didn't happen. I wanted no drugs - didn't happen. You get the picture.) I had a great birth and I put that massively down to being relatively at ease with it because of the hypnobirthing.

Stress isn't so great for baby so I looked at it as chilling out for my little one 😄

I think her words were out of order. I much prefer where possible to lay down when having bloods taken because I do tend to go a bit funny! Surely they'd rather you lay down and comfortable rather than have you pass out!? I've not given birth yet (I bloody hope I do soon though!) so I can't compare regarding the comment about how are you going to cope with child birth, but I can only imagine it is so completely and utterly different to having bloods taken for Christ sake! Good for you for saying something to her though. I don't think I'd have been brave enough to be honest! x